I tried to call to the nurse that I was not well. She put a mask over my face and told me to breathe, but I could only get a few breaths in before passing out. I was still in my body, but could hear everything going on around me. The nurse checked my pulse (I could still feel at this point) and then called back the anesthesiologist and obstetrician-gynecologist. Someone shone a light in my eye. I could not move. I felt my heart race and then stop. Then, I began to float up above my body and a white light encompassed me. I felt no pain and it was such a relief given what I was going through, that I forgot about going anywhere. I just wanted to remain suspended there forever. The emotions that surrounded me felt like nothing I've ever experienced on earth. It was like love was magnified multiple times, peaceful and secure.
I saw some people I didn't recognize. One was a woman dressed in a long brown dress from the 1800s, with her dark hair tied in a bun. She said she would help me go back, because by then I had said, "Dear Lord, please let me go back and take care of my new baby girl. She may need me right now."
Suddenly, I was violently sucked back into my body and started to feel pain and pressure in my body. I could feel again. My heart was skipping and beating. I took a breath from the mask that was still over my mouth and nose. I opened my eyes and tried to look into the overhead mirror that was set up for observing the birth. I saw myself and I looked ashen and gray. My lips were discolored. The nurse kept watching my fingers. I felt very anxious. I had wires and patches all over my chest. Nobody around looked familiar. They had chased my husband out a long time ago when this all started. I felt all alone, with nobody to turn to, for my questions, “Where's my baby? Is she okay?” I asked anyway and the nurse nodded and said because of the way I bled, I had “reversed the umbilical cord bleeding and had sucked some of it backwards to me, instead of the baby”. Was that okay for the baby? I never saw any indications that it was a problem, although she had an "outward" belly button instead of an "innie", later on in life.
I laid in recovery for a few hours and continued to bleed a little more. Finally, I was brought to a room and left by myself to recover. I was very weak, but very glad to see my new daughter, Laura, and have time to bond with her afterwards. The next day, I delivered the rest of the placenta in the toilet and showed it to the nurse, who proceeded to get rid of the evidence when she saw it. It was the size of an adult liver, and took a while to get it flushed, but she managed.
I went back to the hospital a couple months later to read the medical reports. It just said that I bled heavily. No indications of all the machinery that I woke up to. I never went back to that hospital and never had another child or used that doctor for anything ever again. Today, I have Mark, my first child, 23 years old, and Laura, 20 years old and both are healthy and normal.
Even so, I spent the next 4 years in therapy for anxiety attacks and to help me understand my experience and lessons. I became allergic to certain foods that I had previously loved; no chicken, dairy, cauliflower and other loved items. Yet I learned to eat other foods that I had never experienced before, or had never liked; sushi, tofu, and other soy products.
Date NDE Occurred: January 2, 1982
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Childbirth Clinical death I had just given birth and had bled so heavily and was not breathing, and my heart stopped from so much blood loss. The placenta had not been completely removed yet the doctor had left the room, thinking all was well and he was done.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I did not look at my body. I just felt the vibrations, like a high frequency, not a slow vibration.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I tried to stay alert. I was able to feel the vibrations when I was out of the physical body. Something was wiggly like Jell-O, but no form was restricting me.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I did not know how much time had elapsed while I was out of my body. Laura was born around 1:30pm on that Saturday, and I couldn't see the clock when I woke up in the delivery room. I remember getting back to my room, after recovery, around 5p.m.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I was not aware of noises – just my own thinking and that of the other entities ([Plural] because there were maybe one or two of them in addition to the woman in the dark dress).
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I was told by an earth-based psychic that the woman in the dark dress that I saw was a great grandmother of mine that I had never met. When I described the woman to my father, he said it sounded like my father's maternal grandmother, Mary. To this day, I sometimes wear my hair in a bun [as the woman in the dark dress did].
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I was just aware of the light when I got out of my body. I don't remember it coming from any certain direction.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love was what I described it as, but love like this was never experienced on earth by me before.
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe This came throughout the next few years and then dwindled off, but it was strong at first: I could sense danger before it was about to happen. I could tell what was going on in an ambulance that passed by. I could feel pain in my body that someone else was having. I was able to hear the thoughts of others. I knew why certain foods were good for my body and how the energy of the food affected me.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I would come to a crossing in a road and slow down in time for a wild elk to dash by. I didn't know what was going to happen, just felt the need to slow down.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I asked to come back and was rushed back.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Roman Catholic by birth
What is your religion now? same but more liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I don't get attached to trying to change people or their attitude toward my experience.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Remembering the details of all that happened. Trying to be alert to all that was happening. Just wanting to take more time with the wonderful experience, but realizing I had to make a quick decision or I might not be able to come back to my newborn baby.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I was maybe a little psychic for a while. I don't think it lasted long.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Worst: not being in control, not knowing if I would be sent back or if I had to stay. Best: thankful for the extra time with my children.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Sensing the body everyday is a great experience for me. Every cell has a consciousness and I want to use that consciousness to know better what to do in life's school of lessons.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Be in the moment. Ask me when it comes to you, and I'll do the same.