I heard and saw the doctor giving me too much anesthesia and the surgeon saying, 'Damn it, you gave her too much, you killed her.' Immediately I was in a black velvet tunnel. It was pitch black, but soft like velvet. The noise was like a thousand trains going by at one time, I was in the middle of the noise, it was horrible, seemed to go on forever.
Then I was like pushed out into more black velvet, they on the right side of the tunnel I saw answers to equations in algebra that I had trouble with in high school, written in bright neon lights. And a few other things written, I don't know if it meant anything. I have always loved neon signs. As the writing went on, this loving, most kind, all-encompassing voice said, 'Judi, none of those things really mattered. You have all you need.' He just assured me that I was not stupid, was not 'slow' as my family called me. He said what I was doing was more important. He explained that because my sister and ex-husband were educated better than I was, did not mean I was not even more educated on things of the Lord. I was in such peace, the Lord laughed, not at me, but somehow with me. I just knew he was conveying to me that I had a purpose for HIM - it seemed I was in that place for hours and hours. I have never before or since felt such peace and freedom, not ever.
They, I saw a brilliant light. Brighter than looking directly into the sun. There was a soft blue color here and there. Then I felt as through two giant hands cradled me and was giving me a choice of staying or going back. I remember being heartbroken even thinking about leaving that place. Then he said, 'I need you to raise your two sons.' (I only had one son at the time.) I remember the sadness of wanting to be obedient to the Lord and come back. His love allowed me to make the choice of coming back. Next all I know was that I was in the recovery room, with nurses and doctors checking me.
Date NDE Occurred: 1972
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related I had another experience in the hospital having another operation. The woman in the next bed and her husband laid hands on me, I felt the same thing. I knew I was in God's arms and when I woke up I was healed. The incision would not heal; I was in horr Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening I have had four experiences with angels. One save my life.I had had a very serious operation - upper thoracic syndrome. A lung collapsed.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The only time I have even felt that love is occasionally during worshiping HIM or praying. When I was sexually abused as a child, I would hide, cry, and pray in a tiny closet. I was about seven. My father would not allow me to cry or pray by then. In that closet I always experience HIS presence - He would talk to me and call me His precious daughter, and assured me that it would be okay.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the end when I was in the Lord's arms.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I felt that the whole even was hours and hours long.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? Everything was crisp and clear and brighter than the natural eye could look at without going blind.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I have never heard anything that loud before - I knew it meant something. I felt perhaps I had passed from sin, into love and forgiveness.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes As I said above.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I was aware of passing others but did not know who they were. Afterwards I thought, perhaps they were my grandparents whom I had never seen.
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was the brightest light I have ever seen - some had rainbow colors. Very, very soft, very, very bright - beyond anything on earth.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm yes, out of the tunnel into God's arms in that light
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first during the loud voice some fear that passed quickly. From then on I felt more and more comfortable and then when I was in HIS arms, I was weightless, as though I was as pure and God himself, void of all sin.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I learned that God knew me, from then on I had no need to ever be afraid. Even though I have lost my entire family because they at the moment are turning their backs on the Lord - I have such confidence in the Lord - so deep so true, no one can steal it.
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future For one thing, that I would have another son to raise. I knew with the incest in the family, my children would need me to protect them. It was very difficult, but I knew God was with me.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes When I got to God's arms and hands.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I could not stay in the Catholic church. I knew I needed a 'word' church and needed to be baptized in the Holy Spirit as manifested in speaking in tongues. I am graduating this May from my fifth year of Bible College and training. My entire life is about Jesus and bringing people to him.
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist Born again, spirit filled. Profound experiences with Jesus that have changed my life forever. I am in a healing ministry. I have incredible faith for healing others. I was healed of bone cancer.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I could not stay in the Catholic church. I knew I needed a 'word' church and needed to be baptized in the Holy Spirit as manifested in speaking in tongues. I am graduating this May from my fifth year of Bible College and training. My entire life is about Jesus and bringing people to him.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew that God was telling me he was going to use me in a special way. I no longer cared who in my family believed in God or not - my faith continues to grow.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am the only one in my entire family who is dealing with the trauma of incest, most have written me off as a religious nut. However, the Lord has anointed me to teach, and win souls in such a way that even my pastor is amazed. Actually, I am amazed myself, that's how I know it's supernatural. I have a poor memory, very poor. When I am ministering the Lord tells me chapter and verse the word that person needs, or exactly what to pray over them. I know this; it is natural to live a supernatural life.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It was difficult to express because no one believed me. I tried to tell the surgeon that I knew that the anesthesiologist had given me too much. I heard him yell at him, 'You gave her too much, you killed her.' In recovery, I tried to talk about it again to the doctor. His face turned a greenish color; he said nothing except 'I will send someone to help you.' He sent a psychiatrist to try to convince me that it did not happen and that I made it up. My former husband was only too happy to agree with them. Ten years later in a prayer group, a friend said 'Here, I bought this for you. The Lord wants me to give this to you.' It was a book called 'Life after Life'. That was the first time in ten years I was free to talk about it. Every account in that book was part of what I had seen and heard. It was such a relief. I had been abused most of my life, and tended at this time not to trust myself and certainly not to push such strange things, it just made those people in my life think I was the one who was crazy and/or bringing the abuse on myself, as though I were insane. It was a very hard time in my life.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I became very prophetic. I actually got into palm reading. When I learned God said to avoid that I did. Then it became a true gift from God used for His purposes.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I had not been loved most of my life. In fact, I would even say I had been used for other's gain. My experience left me knowing I was very loved, and needed by God. In my Catholic days, my family would get angry and say, 'You need to become a nun.' They taunted me about my faith.
The Lord allowed me to understand the real meaning of life. Looking back now, I feel as through that experience prepared me for the losses to come. So many operations, death of middle son, I knew what I knew in my heart was real, and that no matter what happened and who turned their backs on me, Jesus would never leave me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My family and friends - some friends believed me - it was ten years later that I became bold about it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I already knew the Lord in a very special way. I knew it was He who was holding me. No matter what anybody said or did, that was so real; it did not matter to me. I stayed silent eventually, after a few weeks, but as I said, with that book 'Life after Life' it gave me wings.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. Because I do have a mission in life for the Lord. I have had many more experiences, similar only, not related to surgery as that one was.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Other operations - I heard the beginning of the tunnel experience. Other healing experiences with the Lord - instant healing.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I know there are not a whole lot of us having had this experience. I know where I am headed and am always willing to change course if the Lord leads. I guess I would say, I have confidence in the Lord and such trust that it amazes me. Was healed from bone cancer, during that time I had visitations and awareness that even angels were singing to me.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I have to think about that.