Joshua L NDE

Experience Description



It started for me awakening in a place without light. I had no point of reference, yet I had the feeling of being moved. The movement was slow, at first, as if I was floating down a river. Then as I started to feel fear, as if I am trapped and worried that I cannot find my way out of this place. Then I felt calmness came over me. At this point, it felt as if I was being stretched really fast, to the point I was doubling in size every second or perhaps my vantage point was expanding. In this state, I felt timeless, it felt like an eternity could have passed yet I was still aware of the now. The more I started to think of what happened to me and how I got here, the slower I began to move.

I began to try to resist it, as if I had any choice, and a peace came over me that rendered me helpless and calmed me at the same time. During this timeless state, I did have memories that I could use to amuse myself. Being only 5 years old, I don't remember all the countless thoughts I had because it felt like an eternity. I do however remember the detail of how they appeared in my mind or consciousness. I will explain this later on in earthly events and feelings.

The stretching stopped and the darkness began to turn into a dull fog. I noticed there is light but I could not see from where it was coming. This part is hard to explain because I lack the directions and words to describe but I will try my best. Imagine being in the center of a dark room, and someone turns on a very dim light in the center of the room. While I was expanding or shrinking, I could not see the light because I was looking around. It wasn't until I expanded fully, that I could see the light in the center of me once I was looking within. Yet, I did not move toward anything. I had no control over where I moved. Instead, it entered me and filled it like a cup does water, expanding to the size of the cup. As I was being poured toward this light, I began to shrink. It was as if I was going through a wormhole on the ground. As I was being poured, I went into a sleep-state or the feeling of being tired. I remember sleeping in my dream. I awoke in a hospital 3 days after my head injury. To the doctors’ amazement, I should have been a vegetable on life support for the rest of my life with permanent brain injury that could result in retardation or psychological disorders. I was born left-handed and knew how to spell my name at the age of five. Soon after my head-injury to the left side of my brain, I only used my right hand. I have lived my life with no fear of death because of how profound my experience was. I have an IQ of 142, tested at age 13. I’m not sure if this injury helped me achieve this, however, I am very grateful to have had this experience and be able to share with others so they may embrace in the knowledge there is definitely something else in store for our immortal souls. I had reoccurring dreams of this event at least a dozen times that followed me until I was about 15.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1986

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident Life threatening event, but not clinical death

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes It was very long ago, I do remember brief glimpses of memories that I was recalling while in the darkness to help pass the time. As I would think of someone like my mother, I would see all the memories associated with her. Some of which were not experienced by me, yet it felt very personal. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The difference between dreams and reality is a good example. If my NDE consciousness was that of a wake-state, then reality, as we know it, felt like the dream when comparing the two.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The whole time.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It felt like an eternity yet I had thoughts.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Wasn't a lot to look at, other than darkness; my experienced vision is not a good example. A better example would be to imagine that your vision is your imagination like the blind see. The better you can mentally visualize something the better you can see it. It felt more like I was thinking on a memory, yet experiencing it first-hand, but not with my eyes.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No audible sounds, yet I felt a melody very similar to my heartbeat, as to the effect that it calmed me; this was only toward the end of my experience, right before I awoke a few days later.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I explained above, not a tunnel but more of being poured through a funnel.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I could not see the source of the light, but I could see the fog it was lighting up. This directed me as to where I needed to go.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place

What emotions did you feel during the experience? The whole experience was emotional; I think emotions are the only thing that let me know I was still alive and kept me connected to the experience; unlike a dream where you can disconnect your emotions as to where it’s like watching a movie with no stake in the outcome. The emotions I felt more than anything was feeling peace, calmness, and understanding. No sooner would I feel confused or anxious of things to come, understanding and the feeling of ‘let it be’, everything is okay, a sense of relief would come over me.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Only after many years of looking back, and living in the understanding, do I acknowledge that all of my natural assumptions that I was given at age 5 after my NDE are right-on with my natural model of the universe and how I see things. In fact, long before string-theory was just an idea I felt like everything is light, all energy is light, and all life is light perceiving light. The illusion is that of separation. We are all very much connected through this field of light.

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I saw myself at the age I am now; at age 5 I wasn't aware it was me, however. That and all the other memories that were not in my own experience confuse me now, at the time it all made perfect sense and felt right.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes You cannot push past the barrier that surrounds you; you have to come to acceptance that you have no control, in order to find your way out or in.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I had no control, and once I acknowledged I had no control and stopped trying to fight it, did I begin to see beyond the barrier that kept me confined to darkness.

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist My mother did say a prayer in desperation for me but she did not go to church regularly and my step father at the time was a Scientific Atheist that only works with facts. I had no knowledge of God at all prior to this event.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I was too young to have any beliefs.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths I accept the fact we are all one, All religions embrace this idea. I am spiritual however I think each culture has their own way of looking at it. So I embrace all religions that unify consciousness and the laws of Karma described in Hindu & Buddhist faiths.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I was too young to tell.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes Saw many different lives that were not my own, but it all took place at the same time as if they were there to guide me toward finding the light in a place where time has no meaning.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I became all, and expanded infinitely in all directions, and could see the universe as a single point. We are all one.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes The feelings you get when you are alarmed, confused, scared etc, are responded with love, kindness and security tells me someone out there cares about how we feel.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain The knowledge presents itself when needed. Some memories are still coming to me. I will see something or do something that jogs my memory of my NDE and allows me to remember what I once forgot.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes This is only in terms of how I feel today, and how my NDE effected me. I think our purpose is simple, to choose and find a meaningful purpose that in returns helps everyone.

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes The fact I could be anywhere, or no where at all, all at once, and still have thoughts of my own tell me this.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes I picked this life for a reason, and only the individual living their own life can understand this for themselves, its not up to others to answer questions regarding self, that's why we have emotions and a consciousness.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No I tend to be a positive thinker and have been since age 5 so I tend to not let the daily stresses of life effect me and not let my mind wander to these places of negative thought. For how can one expect to be positive when surrounded themselves with negat

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The feeling of Love is abundant the closer to the light you become.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown Unknown. Two ways of looking at things: separate alone individually and fight your ego, or accept we are all one, we are immortal souls, embrace and respect the love of our creator.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Uncertain I was too young to have a relationship.

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The feelings and directions cannot be explained rationally with words. Like the feeling in your stomach when you hit a bump in the road, you cannot describe it unless someone has already experienced it.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience Here we use our brain to record information, I do believe the other half to the knowledge we achieve here is stored elsewhere as well. Almost like a back up copy so when our brains return to the earth there is a permanent record that last forever.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I was too young; however, I can sometimes get messages from people that pass through pictures or places to which they were attached. However, the messages are often symbols so it is very hard to relay the message. I have given many people information only their loved ones could have given. Example - Old girlfriend had a picture of her dead uncle on her wall. I had no idea he had passed, I kept getting a picture of red balloons and felt gratitude, so I openly spoke up: ‘He is thankful and something about a red balloon.’ She cried and said they let a bundle of red balloons go the day of his funeral.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The fact I can remember without my brain, seeing as how my brain was not working I know what we call ourselves isn't fully visible in this reality.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Most of the time I give them the fast, short version, ‘I hit my head, almost died, gave me a lot of insight at an early age’.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It has not changed since it has happened. My memories of it are still very much intact after all these years; even though I can barely remember my favorite toys and what my room looked like then.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have learned to meditate since age 5, and in doing so I've found a way to reach the peace of mind only found in my NDE, I use the Kundali meditation of ‘nothingness’ to escape the confounds of my body mentally. It keeps me positive and provides me the patience to overcome my daily struggles.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Meditation gets me close, but never a deep-state as my NDE.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I not only believe my NDE was real: I live my life the way I do today because of it.