The operating room staff were rushing around me on the table while I watched from a corner of the ceiling above them on the other side of the room. I felt remarkably calm and just interested in the technical aspects of what they were doing. Interesting, and wondering why they were making such a fuss really. Then a bright white light grew brighter above me to the left, like a distant torch approaching and getting brighter. But it was square, not round. Drawn like iron filings to a weak magnet I seemed to move towards it, float is to imprecise an adjective, and realized that the light was coming from a square corridor that I was entering. No panic or fear, just curious. It wasn't cold either, no reason why it should be, but it was a neutral temperature. Moving up the slight gradient as if walking. Annoying silence all around, but a calm atmosphere.
A voice, not one that I have ever recognized, but definitely male, then said 'It's not time yet, you can go back now.' I have been asking 'why?' and 'what for?' ever since!
Date NDE Occurred: 1/10/93
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) . I was clinically dead on the operating table, twice as I recall.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Interesting to answer this. The best comparison that I can think of is that when serving in Northern Ireland, the 'Alert and response' levels were on overtime, but the threat level was massive. This was the same but without any threat level.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning All surreal. See above.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? Felt the same, but the light was all encompassing until I was in the tunnel.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? No sound until the voice, and that was normal conversational pitch.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes See above.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes See above.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Calm, Curious, Interested, Fascinated.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal None
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No Still think that it is an irrelevance, and that religion is a way to keep the masses under control.
What is your religion now? Liberal None
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No Still think that it is an irrelevance, and that religion is a way to keep the masses under control.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Not being told why I was sent back!!! Frustrating me ever since.
This all seemed reasonably normal to me, but the few people that know think that it is incredible.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes It made me much harder than I was emotionally, if that was possible. That is only recently starting to diminish and allow me to join the real world. Less tolerant. Impatient. Even more frustrating and not very forgiving of mistakes. Not good really.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No Amazingly interesting watching myself be resuscitated.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have talked to my dead grandfather, and often see dead people that I don't know. They seem happy and preoccupied. I watched a Cavalier in full garb drinking in front of a fireplace for what seemed like ages. Their location often does not appear to relate to mine. Not in this time zone any way.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? A peace that I have never had before, or experienced since. Life has always troubled me, and it and I have always had to come to a tolerant arrangement.
Couldn't understand why they were working so hard to save me that seemed a waste of their professional time.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It doesn't bother me, but it disturbs others so I keep it to myself now.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. Because it was.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. See above.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Not been dead since then!