Experience Description

This incident occurred at the end of a long period of abuse - about three years. My abuser isolated me while I was swimming in a pond behind his house. After a brief argument with the man, as I was trying to swim away from him, he pushed me underwater by my shoulders and held me there. I struggled against his hands on my shoulders, but was not able to come to the surface. When I was almost out of air, I looked up through the water at the face of my attacker. His expression was very frightening to me because he was smiling, but also appeared to be very angry.

The perspective of my memory at that point changed from looking up at him to looking down at the top and back of his head and myself from above. I saw my body floating limply under water with my eyes open. At the same time the visual perspective of my memory changed, I remember the pain in my lungs, my feelings of panic and the urge to breathe stopped as well. I felt peaceful clarity. I was aware of the circumstances and knew I was dying. My face looked peaceful and oddly pretty. I was aware I had a choice and was happy to move on to the light behind me. The light looked like a very bright full moon. I felt a strange tug as I moved away from my body toward the light. It felt like an involuntary gasp. Then, I realized my little sister needed me so I had to come back. I came back into my body and it hurt. All the feelings of panic were gone, but my chest was burning. I knew from looking at the scene from above, that he was just pushing me under, not holding onto me.

I swam/sunk downward and backwards away from him on my back. He couldn't see through the water because it was very muddy and murky at the bottom. I came up under a floating dock in the middle of the pond and hid there until he left.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1981

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Criminal attack Other near drowning I was being held underwater by someone who intended to either scare me or kill me.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I had decided to, but before I had re-entered my body.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time stopped and I felt like I was floating with no gravity.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The surface of the water glinted in the sun in a starburst effect and the appearance of my body was in a haze of the pond water. It was surreal.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't remember any sounds except for my attacker breathing heavily and the water slapping against his body.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The place surrounding the light was very comfortable and is not comparable to anything I have felt or seen since.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, absolute clarity and an absence of pain.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I understood a much broader picture while I was not in my body. It didn't flood back to me in a visual life passing before my eyes. I went from ignorance instantly to wide awareness - not just of my life circumstances, but also of emotions, my family circumstances, a sense of purpose that I didn't have before. There was no sense of time, just calm sense of knowing what was and also what I needed to do.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I knew my mom was not going to die from her illness.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal None

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I believe in spiritual energy now. I had no religious or spiritual beliefs before.

What is your religion now? Liberal None/Open minded

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe in spiritual energy now. I had no religious or spiritual beliefs before.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I understood my purpose on a different level. The string theory was a no-brainer for me. Somehow, I realized that we are all energy and that solid mass was an illusion.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My sister and I have a special connection now.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can pass easily into this area by choice and sometimes wake up after sleeping with memories of being there, flying effortlessly.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The experience changed my life. It ended the abuse and gave me a huge amount of empathy.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I started sharing the near drowning experience with my psychologist at age twenty-one. In the last few months, I have been processing the experience with an emergency doctor and have been able to describe the experience in more detail.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew the experience was real. Soon after that experience, I began researching near death, out of body experiences, channeling and other forms of spirituality. I even did a report in high school where I interviewed a couple of psychics.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I view this experience as my life energy moving between planes of consciousness under duress. I view it along the lines of the law of conservation of energy. It states that the total amount of energy in an isolated system remains constant. A consequence of this law is that energy cannot be created or destroyed. The only thing that can happen with energy in an isolated system is that it can change form, that is to say for instance kinetic energy can become thermal energy. Because energy is associated with mass in the Einstein's theory of relativity, the conservation of energy also implies the conservation of mass in isolated systems (that is, the mass of a system cannot change, so long as energy is not permitted to enter or leave the system). Our psychic energy, soul, what have you, is just another form of energy.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No