FIRST TIME: I was about five when my first NDE happened. Of course, back in 1953, it wasn't known. I recall watching the new family on the block move in and saw they had a boy about my age that I wanted to meet. Mom said no, he was having emotional problems and his mother warned everyone to stay away. I felt badly for him, so I decided to go meet him anyway, and was confident he would see how nice I am and like me. I walked up the stone steps in front of his house, and knocked on his door. When he answered, he screamed ‘GO AWAY!’ In a furious rage, he proceeded to push me as hard as he could backwards down those stone steps. I flew through the air and tumbled over and over down the steps, and didn't understand why the steps kept jumping up to hit me in the head.
With each hit, I popped out of my body onto the terraced lawn at my house, looking at what was happening but detached. In and out I popped, in the end staying on the lawn. I could see a woman was rushing out the door two houses down, and I heard her screen door slam shut. There was such a nice little breeze blowing, and it was very peaceful. I hadn't realized how high I had gotten, but I chanced to look down and saw a little girl in a brown dress crumpled on the ground far below and wondered who she was. The lady kneeled by her and I thought, ‘oh, she will be okay, the lady will help.’
It was then that I saw the silvery white chord connecting me to the girl and realized it was me down there. I felt like a kite and was very happy where I was. I flew that way until I felt warmth behind me and turned. It was the most beautiful sun I had ever seen, golden yellow, with rays: all hues of the rainbow emanating out a long way, very surreal. It seemed to come closer but maybe I was going higher. The colors surrounded me; I stretched out to touch the sun. It was very bright, but I could look straight into it.
The second I touched it, I was back in my body, the woman was cradling me and saying I would be okay. She said she was a nurse who had seen my fall, from her house and rushed out the screen door to help. She said it was a very bad fall and that I had stopped breathing, she'd had to perform artificial respiration on me. She talked a mile a minute and seemed very upset. She carried me home, admonishing Mom to take me to the hospital immediately. Mom called the doctor to come for a home visit. I told Mom of my flight before he came, although he was there within minutes. He checked me out, stating I had a severe concussion; wrote out some medicine for me and said that I wasn't to get out of bed for three weeks. Mom was very upset about the fall, but was keenly interested in my time being a kite; then related her own NDE (totally different but with some of the same elements) when she was a teen and had typhoid pneumonia. She wanted to know what was on the other side of the sun. She seemed disappointed that I couldn't tell her so I decided that night to relive it in dreams.
The following occurred in the three weeks after my fall: I tried every night, until one night (I don't know how long) I had another flight to the beautiful sun, just as real as the first time, but this time I went through it. On the other side, the colors were very bright; I was on a garden path with many trees and beautifully, colorful flowers waving in the breeze. A butterfly flew across my path and lit on the flowers; I heard birds chirping and a bunny hopped across. I wandered happily along, loving each new sight, until I saw an old man in a pure white long robe. He had long white, wavy, (almost ringlets), hair and long beard: walking towards me.
I gasped, and wondered how my Father got there before me? Not my Daddy, but my FATHER. I was filled with such joy and love; I ran to meet him. We talked for a while. I was emotional and he was pure love and kindness. Sometime during the talk, I grew into a young woman. I don't remember what was said or how long it took, but suddenly I began to shrink back to five, sobbing uncontrollably on my knees with hands covering my face, then wrapping my arms around his legs and robe, holding on tight and begging to stay, tears streaming down my face. My Father said ‘not yet, you have work to do.’ He then bent down and said ‘remember to be nice to people’. I asked, ‘and animals too?’ He gently said ‘yes, and animals too, but especially be nice to people.’ Suddenly I returned to myself, gasping for air and with a big headache.
Perhaps I shouldn't, but I consider these flights to be one NDE not two. It was absolutely real and not dream-like. I have never doubted it. For years afterwards I was able to tell when a relative died before my family knew of it. I used to have a 'death dream’, in which I knew a family member had departed, I was never wrong. When I was twenty-two, I had this dream, which happened three days before my Uncle's death. After he died, I felt that my knowing and saying something might have actually caused him to give up. This did not feel like a gift, it was full of death and sadness. I prayed to have it taken away, and the intensity of them more or less left me. I wasn't afraid to die, but to feel responsible for someone else's death was more than I could bear. After that, I rarely spoke of this knowledge when I became aware. This NDE has changed me profoundly and totally. My life is ever evolving because 'be nice to people' has so many facets and possibilities.
SECOND NDE: After losing my parents so close together, I was beyond inconsolable. I felt like an orphan. I have never believed in suicide, it is so preventable and not part of the plan I had been given. I had known that I didn't have a choice in this matter from my first NDE. The entire extended family was devastated with so many leaving this earth within such a short period; it was a really bad summer. Ties had been severed between us as we each dealt with the losses separately. I found solace in knowing I would see my parents again in that beautiful realm, all in proper time. I had taken some time off work, and a couple of years later, when I was forty-six, I was preparing to return, but decided to play and explore a little more before getting back to the grind. The last trip was to the ocean, where I picked up some fresh oysters, fully intending to savor every bite. When I returned, I made a jambalaya, and ate nearly the whole thing!! As I finished the last bite, I had an odd feeling, and ran to the bathroom. I fell over shortly after getting there and could not move; I kept trying to get up to call for help, but was too weak. I couldn't lift my head off the ground because I kept passing out when I tried. I was very ill, and my attempts to be heard by others outside my apartment failed. After a few minutes, I tried to get to the phone in the other room; I failed in every attempt. I knew I would die if I didn't make it. I tried one more time and finally made it.
I called 911, and before long, the medics arrived. They hooked me up to machines and took my blood pressure. The medics stated they were going to lift me to a sitting position to see what happened. I told them not to, that my blood pressure couldn't support me if they did that. They did it anyway, and said ‘don't worry, we have you and won't let anything happen.’ As predicted, I passed out with my head bent forward, which cut off my oxygen. I felt myself surrender, and it was okay.
All of a sudden, I was sitting in what I perceived to be my front room: confused, and totally surrounded by the blackest black, perfect black, and totally relaxed. In front of me, I saw my TV, but the shape was different. It was a perfect rectangle. It was perfect geometrically and the white on the screen did not cross into the blackness. Inside was what appeared to be a toga party: 5 or 6 couples enjoying each other's company and chatting happily.
I decided I must have woken myself up in the middle of the night and ended up in the front room turning on the TV. I watched this party for a while, and decided it must be a 'B' movie and expected Clash of the Titans, or some such movie, with giants and odd creatures bursting around the corner of the hallway at the end of the room. I was darned if I was going to spend my time watching it. I reached down for the remote to change the channel, but to my surprise there was no remote or couch there, in fact there was nothing there. I felt completely intact: arms, legs, and torso.
I was thinking very clearly, crystalline clarity. My laser sharp vision was perfect and unfiltered by weak eyes and faulty brain connections. I was determined to change the channel, I decided to get up and change it directly on my TV set. The moment I thought that, I sped to the set without trying to move. There was a rush of wind, and a sensation of incredible speed. When I got there, the TV was life sized, the room brilliant, and I was peering in on the party. I knew, at that instant, I was dead. I was totally giddy with anticipation that I would see my parents shortly.
The room was made of the most beautiful luminescent white marble: marble floors, walls, ceiling and columns. They were perfect geometrically. The light emanating from them was totally contained within each laser sharp line of each feature; it did not cross into the next line or feature, diminishing its glory in any way. To the left against the wall was a white marble table with a punch bowl containing the oddest, mystical colored liquid, I have ever seen, with several stemmed glasses of an odd geometrical shape. In the left corner, in front of me, was a large green parlor palm. Each person was holding a glass of the liquid. They were wearing clothing made of the same white luminescent quality as the entire room. These people were beautiful and young; I knew them but not their names. I was convinced if I could make it to the end of the room and down the hall, it would lead to the realm and I could search for my parents.
My mind was racing, thoughts all mixed together at once. (Thinking: How does one walk on that gorgeous floor without marring it? Would it hold my weight? What was in the marble that made it so luminescent? Could I reach the end of the room without being noticed? Was the palm big enough to hide me? And what are their names? I know them, but they are younger versions. What is that punch made of? How did it get so colorful and perfectly clear at the same time? It was glowing outrageously. I was certain I wasn't putting any of that in my system. How can you drink out of that glass without spilling all over yourself?) I stepped up to the floor (it held me and I didn't slip) and hid behind the palm: watching.
Again thinking: What if this was a sound stage, I didn't want to interrupt. Were my parents here as well?) I began to search their faces. As soon as I did that, everyone turned and came over to me, welcoming me by name in a most gracious manner. They seemed to be filled with genuine joy to see me: so much for sneaking to the back hallway, so much for avoiding the embarrassment of not remembering their names. I was offered a glass of their liquid punch, I graciously declined, but they were insistent. Their mouths moved and I heard sound when they talked. I knew that every thought I had was heard. I tried twice to make it to the back of the room, but, smiling they offered me a drink again. When I declined they encircled me: women on the inside and men on the outer ring (and you guessed it, in two perfect circles). I knew it was useless to decline, so I agreed to try a sip of the drink without earthly comparison or name, one, which I have come to think of as 'Nuclear.' I raised the glass slowly, my wonderful hosts gently encouraging me all the while. As soon as that glass touched my lips, I was returned to my body.
The paramedic was holding me and just laying me back down. My hand and arm made motions of still trying to lift the glass. I asked how long he held me upright, he said ‘TWO SECONDS!!!!’ I asked, 'Are you sure?' He said, 'Yes.' The time line is inconceivable. But I had no sense of time while I was there. When I reached the Emergency Room, the doctors worked feverishly on me. They said my body temperature was very low and dropping, my blood pressure almost non-existent. After several hours I asked the nurse what I had, she said 'I don't know, but it almost took you with it.’
After a night in the Coronary Care Unit, the doctor finally had a diagnosis. It had been anaphylactic shock from the shellfish. I couldn't ever have any again.
I moped around for a month, convinced that I was losing ground spiritually the longer I lived. After all, my first experience was of the round sun and brilliant colors, love, love, love, peace, happiness, light, My FATHER in long white robes; had received my life's plan. Now I had been to a toga party with people I didn't know, in knee length togas; my parents had not come to greet me; there was no message to take back. I had now been kicked out of the realm twice or had arrived too early. I had to keep hydrated after the illness. So I went shopping for groceries, and was so excited to find a new sports drink. The color was totally new and luminescent: at least part of the quality of 'Nuclear'. I bought as many as I could carry, believing this to be proof of my trip. I called the 800 number on the back of the bottle, and spoke to a nice gal who confirmed this was a totally new color/flavor. They had opened a test market in our area without advertising it just that day. It was a surprise. The luminescence was from the phosphorus in the drink. I shared my story with her, making her promise not to withdraw the drink, because it was the drink of life. She kept her promise along with the help of thousands of customers because the flavor is still around today, eighteen years later. So at least I had a little message, stay hydrated. Oh, and everything is perfect there. Besides the sports drink, I always keep a living palm in the house. Having had the privilege of two NDE's, so far apart in life, I've gained a little perspective on the experience.
First of all, no matter what the content of the NDE: it is a real occurrence and not a dream. Second, they are always there helping us; we are not alone; there is hope. Third, this is for everyone: not just a privileged few in any specific religion. Fourth, we approach the NDE as humans, not as perfect spirits and can be forgiven our human reactions there. Fifth, every NDE is specific in its content and totally different from another's NDE. We seem to get what we need at the time in a way that we can understand at that point in our life, and perhaps get enough to last a life time. Sixth, we should never blame those already passed for not staying on earth for us. Instead we should have jubilation in their new circumstances. Seventh, we should respect all life, including our own, not imposing our will on others, nor interact in a way that hampers or crowds their energy and life experience: like the brilliant marble was perfectly separated. I know there will be more that I can glean from these experiences, but that book is yet to be written.
Please forgive the lengthy accounts. I flunked 'concise' in English class, and don't seem to be able to contain my life in the little boxes provided. For me, this was concise. I did, however, get A's in run on sentences. Peace, love and light to all who made it through these accounts.
Date NDE Occurred: summer 1953 and fall 1994
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Allergic reactionDirect head injury Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
First time: a terrible fall with head injury
Second time: an anaphylactic reaction to shell fish
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes During my first NDE, I heard my nurse neighbor's screen door slam and I saw myself lying crumpled on the ground. During my second NDE I wouldn't look in the direction of the bathroom, there was something scary going on there. I was totally focused on events in the spiritual world.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal My vision was acute and unfiltered. My thinking was totally clear with heightened awareness.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Both times in the presence of the light, whichever form it took.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
In my second NDE, time must have been incredibly speeded up. I had no sense of time while there in either experience, but my second one happened in earthly 'real' time of two seconds.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was acute and unfiltered. Normally, I am myopic with astigmatism, have been since birth. Now have one cataract left to remove. Things normally appear to be blurry or wavy.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It seemed normal as it is now.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain During my first NDE, the awesome sun with rainbow rays encompassed me. Some would/could interpret that as a tunnel effect.
During my second NDE, the absolute black with the brilliant TV could be construed as a tunnel.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain My Father in my first NDE may have been God.
In my second NDE I saw 5 or 6 couples enjoying each other's company and chatting happily who later greeted me by name and welcomed me with an unearthly colored punch. I believe they are seen as guides or guardian spirits.
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The brilliant golden yellow sun with rainbow rays and brilliant white robe in my first: a brilliant marble room and clothing in my second; also the blackest black, perfection in black. I have seen nothing like it on earth.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm In my first NDE on the other side, the colors were very bright; I was on a garden path with many trees and beautifully colorful flowers waving in the breeze. A butterfly flew across my path and lit on the flowers. I heard birds chirping and a bunny hopped across. I wandered happily along, loving each new sight.
In my second NDE: The room was made of the most beautiful luminescent white marble: marble floors, walls, ceiling and columns. They were perfect geometrically and the light emanating from them was totally contained within each laser sharp line of each feature; it did not cross into the next line or feature, diminishing its glory in any way. To the left, against the wall, was a white marble table with a punch bowl containing the oddest mystical color liquid I have ever seen, with several stemmed glasses of an odd geometrical shape. In the left corner, in front of me, was a large green parlor palm.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt awe, joy, elation, peace, comfort, contentment, wonderment, love, concern, deep sorrow, rejection: during my first NDE.
Skepticism, a little confusion, elation, comfort, compassion, awe, embarrassment: during my second NDE.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes In my first NDE the boundary was: my Father who wouldn't let me pass.
In my second NDE the boundary was: the hallway at the end of the room. I was not allowed to enter it.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will See above.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Unknown
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths I was raised a Methodist, but came to embrace all spirituality later in life.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I began a personal comparative religion study. I discovered a myriad of paths to the highest power in the universe. Since they are really the same path with the same destination, I felt freer expressing my spirituality in other ways. Why not let the good things work?
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Slightly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths I respect all faiths and spiritualities, including atheism. We are all in this together, doing the best we can to make sense of this world, and finding our own paths to the higher power.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience As a young child, I was somewhat aware of Christian teachings, went to Sunday School. But I didn't really take an interest or pay much attention to them.
As an adult, my interest in buildings and beautiful architecture and materials was keen.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe in honesty, and will not intentionally lie. I believe in kindness to all.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin My first NDE I saw an old man in a pure white long robe. He had long white wavy, (almost ringlets), hair and long beard, walking towards me. I gasped, and wondered how my Father got there before me? Not my Daddy, but my FATHER.
My second NDE I saw and experienced a toga party, 5 or 6 couples enjoying each other's company and chatting happily, who later greeted me by name and welcomed me with an unearthly colored punch.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain My Father in my first NDE may have been God.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain my Father in the realm, if not God, may have been from a prior lifetime.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain I don't understand the question. The oneness I felt had to do with communication by thought, and cooperation between living light and its surroundings, the respect given as non-invasiveness into another's space.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I believe I encountered him in my first NDE.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably does not exist
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I was already aware that I was dead, and yet I had these wonderful NDE's. Proof enough for me. I don't know about you, but if you know you are dead and consciousness continues on, there is life after death, as we understand death at this time. I don't know how long it goes on. There are many things I cannot answer or simply don't have the answers.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Be kind to people and love and respect one another.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I was already aware that I was dead, and yet I had these wonderful NDE's. Proof enough for me. I don't know about you, but if you know you are dead and consciousness continues on, there is life after death as we understand death at this time.. I don't
Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Unknown
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain The knowledge of what was shared by my Father in the first of my two NDE's as we talked and I transformed into a young woman I cannot remember or never knew.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love is what both of these experiences were all about. I could not only feel the love around me, but felt it myself.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I began a social services 'career' at five years of age which became my real career later in life. Since I no longer feared death (only too early a demise), I enjoyed some extreme sports. What an amazing life this has been. As my own health declines, I hope I am forgiven for becoming a little cranky. Large changes in my life.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Uncertain They did with my immediate family when I was a child. Please see my narration above. My family is now gone and I am not in relationships.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I have rarely discussed these experiences, it is difficult to talk about, I often stutter when I try to talk about them: (although I am not a stutterer.) I cannot relate these experiences to time, or describe in great detail when asked in person. This is my third attempt to share my NDE's with you. I finally had to write them down separately, edit (and re-edit), copy and paste them here. Even writing them down took many labor intensive hours, but it’s much better than trying to speak them.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience These experiences stand out in my memory as outstandingly clear milestones in my development and understanding of the purpose of life, and set me on a career path.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I used to have a 'death dream' in which I knew a family member had departed: I was never wrong. I often knew who was calling before I answered the phone (and that was long before ‘caller id’).
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The knowledge of what was shared by my Father in the first of my two NDEs as we talked and I transformed into a young woman I cannot remember or I never knew. His message to me was to be nice to people. I took this to be my life plan. My Father shared the knowledge of what in the first of my two NDE's as we talked and I transformed into a young woman I cannot remember or I never knew. Love is what both of these experiences were all about. I could not only feel the love around me, but also felt it within myself. The oneness I felt, had to do with communication by thought and cooperation between living light and its surroundings, the respect given as non-invasiveness into another's space.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared the first with Mom a few minutes after my NDE. She was concerned about my immediate health, and it prompted her to share her own childhood NDE. It was a month before I shared the second experience with anyone. First, the sales representative for the sports drink I found. She was deeply touched by it. Then I shared it with friends who were so excited for me. On rare occasions, I shared it with whoever was in need and experiencing grief. They were so grateful and comforted by this knowledge.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No Not for the first NDE, and then that knowledge was there for the second NDE.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? These experiences stand out in my memory as outstandingly clear milestones in my development and understanding of the purpose of life. They have set me on a career path. As a young child, I was somewhat aware of Christian teachings, went to Sunday school. I didn't really take an interest or pay much attention to them. As an adult, my interest in buildings, beautiful architecture, and materials is keen. I believe I encountered God in my first NDE. My Father in the realm, if not God, may have been from a prior lifetime.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? It would be helpful if you gave a more realistic time frame for completion of the form. This took hours, first to separately write my experiences, edit and re-edit, and then answering 60 plus questions of a difficult soul searching topic. Time management is also important.