Experience Description

My girlfriend and I had not been getting along so I moved out and got a condominium. I wasn't really depressed about the relationship ending just depressed about how my life was, it seemed everything was a mess. I was sitting in the condominium drinking. I had drank a six-pack of 16oz beers and a pint of brandy. I had just recently had my wisdom teeth taken out and had a bottle of pills. After finishing the alcohol I had, I took three or four of the pills. As I sat there, I became really depressed. I decided to end things. So I poured the bottle into my hands and choked down the handful of pills. About a half an hour later I was still awake and got frustrated that I was still alive so I took more pills about five more. I remember sitting on the couch and feeling really dizzy so I laid down.

The next thing I remember I am pushed up against the ceiling with the feeling I was being pulled up. I became frightened and tried to fight this and get back down. As I struggled, I looked down and saw myself still on the couch and there were four people around my body, two on each side of me. For some reason I didn't put much thought into the people around me even though I was alone in the condominium. I just tried to get down from the ceiling.

The force pulling me became stronger and I slid up the ceiling, it was a vaulted ceiling, slid up to where the wall met the ceiling. I continued to struggle and suddenly I was pulled through the wall and into the neighbor's condominium. It was dark and I became really scared, I looked for something grab onto to get down. I noticed what looked like a fireplace and a solid wooden mantel and on that mantle were two yellow lights, one on each side of the mantle. For some reason the soft yellow lights seemed to relax me and I began to lower. I became aware that I could move around just by thinking about it, it was almost fun I floated around the condominium. I noticed a green light coming from another room and floated to it, it was the microwave clock.

Suddenly, I was yanked up and this time out of the condominium through the roof. I was really scared and I could not stop the force pulling me up. I was now getting pulled up at a tremendous speed. I noticed my car in the parking lot and could see the Detroit River and the lights on the ambassador bridge I was really high up and really frightened.

Bam, suddenly everything was black pitch black. I could not see anything but I felt completely comfortable. I had no worries or stress or pain anymore I was just completely calm and I liked it. I could hear noises and became aware of other people around me but I could not see them. I'm not sure how long I was in the dark for, but I thought I must have died and I noticed a light. It seemed far away but was getting bigger. I'm not sure if I was going to it or it was coming to me, it was so dark and there was no way to judge it. As the light got closer I could see people around me, I didn't recognize them and they didn't seem to know I was there. The light got close to me, it was just a ball of light but it seemed intelligent I asked it, 'Am I dead?' and it responded, 'Yes.' I asked where I was and it said, 'You created all this darkness with your depression and anger.' I said, 'If I am dead, where are my grandparents?' The light responded, 'They are around you. They are always around you.'

I remember being aware that I had to go back to my body and I asked questions to almost stall this, I didn't want to leave. I told the light I didn't want to go back and it said I have things to finish. It showed me things on what I can only describe as a projector but without the screen. I saw myself as a young boy and learned that I died when I was four years old; I fell off a swing set and hit my head on the cement that hold the legs in the ground. (I asked my mother about this and she said that I did fall off the swing. I was unconscious when she found me and she rushed me to the hospital, she said I was not dead though.) I watched the projector as I grew up and into my future. I told the light again that I did not want to go back I told it how miserable life was. It said my life would become better and I will be happy but not because of anything it did, it said you create all things in your life happiness, sadness, failures, and successes. It told me that I have the strength to get through life and I will. The light told me it was time to go back. I don't remember now many of the things it told me and showed me; almost liked they were erased from my memory.

Suddenly I was back in my condominium; there was a lady with me. I'm not sure who she was but she seemed familiar to me. I asked who she was and she pointed. As I looked to what she was pointing at and I was back in my body. I awoke completely aware at what just happened. I was completely soaked my shirt and pants totally soaked I sat up and there was an inch of sweat on the leather couch. I was aware that the four people around me made me sweat out the pills I had taken. I was so thirsty and stumbled to the kitchen to get some water I drank right from the faucet for what seemed like an hour. I tried to walk back to my bedroom and got really dizzy and fell over. I woke up the next day lying in the hallway. This event happened three years ago but I remember it like it was yesterday.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 8-20-2007

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Suicide attempt 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' overdose on pain medication while drinking I wasn't sure what was happening. I knew the amount of pain medications I took was probably fatal.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Frightening

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I got to the darkness.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I got to the darkness.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Not sure everything was dark except for the light being.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't seem to hear with my ears.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I don't feel like I knew the being.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes There was a light being, it was a ball of light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear, comfort, at peace.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I am a much calmer person now, things don't seem to upset me now. I also know that when I do die there is more.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I was shown my future but it was like it was erased, I still have memory of pieces of it but I cannot put it together.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'belief in god, do not like organized religion'

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No Still have same beliefs. I do realize our prayers are answered but it's up to us to accept them.

What is your religion now? Moderate 'belief in God, do not like organized religion'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No Still have same beliefs. I do realize our prayers are answered but it's up to us to accept them.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Much calmer person and I now have hope. Then I had no hope and no God to pray to.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? When the light told me I would find happiness.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I've told one person until now.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard of it but didn't put it together that this is what I had.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was real I remember it like it was yesterday almost all of the details. I cant remember most dreams I've had.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I know it was real. I can almost still feel the calmness and comfort I felt in the darkness .

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I wish I could go back.