As I had already passed into unconsciousness at 2:00 am in my auto-asphyxiation suicide attempt I was at the edge of a cliff stepping into an deep abyss of darkness filled with thousands of people with their arms outstretched to me. I could see no faces but I saw the arms outstretched. As I began to step into the void, I was snatched back from the edge by an unseen force and I heard the words, 'It is not your time; I am not through with you yet.' The very next moment my wife was pulling me from the car and resuscitating me.
Date NDE Occurred: August 2004
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Other I had passed into unconsciousness as a result of automobile asphyxiation during a suicide attempt. Attempted auto-asphyxiation suicide.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Frightening
Did you feel separated from your body? No No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As I was standing over, and stepping into the great abyss.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I cannot say anything other than it appeared to me that I may have been looking into hell at the lost.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I stood over a deep abyss - I may have passed through a tunnel to get there I cannot say.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw the forms and arms of humans in the pit but I could not see their faces clearly. It was very ethereal.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? No fear or doubt - just a peaceful uncertainty. I was fully prepared to die at that point.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future It seems today as if I have greater powers of intuition and a stronger spirit of discernment.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain Not until after I realized that I had been spared did I begin to try to help others who may be suffering as I was.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes It just seems as if my powers of discernment and my ability to read people has increased somewhat.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The entire abyss experience.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I began to share my experience with others almost immediately upon my return. I share it frequently as a part of my life's testimony in trying to let others know that hell; or some place of cruel darkness and lost humanity does exist.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Only what the media has carried over the years with regard to going to light - I had never heard of anyone heading into darkness.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. Because God spoke to me and the circumstances surrounding my experience were wholly revelatory in nature.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. God let me see into hell to know that it is real and for me to try to convince others that they need to turn to Him so as to avoid the abyss that He let me view.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No