Experience Description

I lived in Oklahoma City with my son of two years while I was attending college. I became ill and called my parents in the small town of Grandfield two hours away. I asked them to come get my son, and me, as I was too sick to care for him. My dad and grandfather arrived about two hours later and loaded us in the car for the two hour ride home. I don't remember the ride at all or being taken into the house.

My paternal grandmother had passed away when I was nine years old. I was very close to her and was devastated by her passing. I had found her dead from a sudden death cardiac arrest when I came to her house after school.

In my NDE:

I became aware that I was in the backyard of my grandparent's home. It was the same but somehow very different from my childhood memories. I felt safe here, and had a great sense of happiness. I had played under a huge mulberry tree. Behind that was a garden with a fence separating this yard from the neighbor's yard. I remember the dog house and the way the grass smelled after being mowed. I loved that place.

The surroundings again were the same but appeared somehow different. I looked around for a while and wandered to the garden area. I saw my grandmother standing on the other side of the fence in the neighbor's yard. I ran to the fence, so happy to see her. I wanted her to hold me like she did when I was a child. She had a wonderful laugh and was happy to see me too. We talked though it seemed that we communicated by thought rather than words, about general life things, she told me she was very proud of me. She told me she was sorry she left me when she did and was glad that I had acted so responsibly when I found her body. After talking for a short while, she said it was time to go. I wanted to cross the fence and go with her, but she told me no. She said it was not my time, that I still had things to accomplish. She told me that she would always be with me and close by at all times. She told me I should never feel afraid or lonely because she was there. I cried and wanted to go with her. I remember crying like a small child, but also with the grief of losing her again. She came to the fence, touched my cheek, and told me not to cry.

I awakened from this experience to find my parents and the physician standing by the bed. They told me that I had frightened them badly as they thought I had died. But then could hear me calling to my grandmother.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 2/11/1970

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening' . I had a severe case of flu. I did not realize at the time how ill I really was. I became unconscious, and delirious. A physician was called to the home and witnessed my illness.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain
I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I was speaking to my grandmother. I had no awareness of the real physical world.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was speaking to my grandmother. I had no awareness of the real physical world.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I sensed that time was different but I could not understand what it was at the time.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did your vision differ in any way from normal? Where I was seemed to be daytime, but slightly darker than normal. As I approached the fence, things became brighter. My grandmother seemed to glow with a white light.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I was in my grandmother's back yard and was separated from her by a fence to the neighbor's yard that I could not cross.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My deceased grandmother. She was in a neighboring yard separated from me by the fence. She communicated she was safe and happy, that she was proud of me and loved me, and it was not my time to join her.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Brightness around my grandmother and a bright light when she left.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I returned to my childhood and my grandparent's back yard where I grew up.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Happiness, safety, relief, Joy on seeing my grandmother and profound grief at her sending me away. Acceptance.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Only in the sense that I was happy as a child in that setting and missed my grandmother terribly, she sent me back to complete my tasks.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I knew that I was supposed to accomplish something very good, to take care of others.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes My deceased grandmother was in the neighbor's yard separated from me by a fence. The fence looked the same as it did when I was a child, an ordinary wire fence with wooden posts, but I did not know how to cross it to get to my grandmother. I did not cross the barrier. I seemed to know that if I went with her I would be leaving forever.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I didn't understand it at the time, but I had the sense of knowing that there was an afterlife. That it was not scary and this was the normal order of things.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I think I love more, am more aware of other's feelings, and have the strong sense to help others especially those in crisis or at the end of life.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I seem to be aware of spirits at times, and I have the knowledge to somehow choose the correct path I need to take to understand things.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The fact that I was sent back for a reason, that I was able to talk with my grandmother again, and she is with me, especially when I need her.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Several days after I awakened I shared this with my mother. She didn't really believe me and told me I just had a dream.

Several years later, I shared this with a very close friend. She was touched by the experience and thought it was a true event.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It was a real experience, and I had all the feelings and sensations of it being as real as a waking experience.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It was as real as what I am doing now.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No