Was severely depressed. Attempted suicide by overdose. I was discovered by the neighbor about 4 hours later. EMS arrived on the scene - I was already unconscious. O2 saturation was 50%. I remember floating above the ambulance watching the paramedics cut off my clothes. My next memory is that of going down a dark brown/green cloudy/smoky tunnel. Then I was at a place that I can only describe as being outside. I could look in and see the entire universe galaxies, stars, planets, and the Earth. I had an overwhelming sense of aloneness accompanied by a feeling of wrong. I was utterly alone, without the presence of God. I felt something behind me or I knew there was and felt that if I turned and looked that I would be there forever. It was not a comfortable place. I saw the universe being destroyed before my eyes. Turning from brown to fire from right to left starting at the Earth. It was my universe that was being destroyed. Not yours or anyone else's. I knew the destruction of mine would have no effect on anyone else. I then found myself in an emergency trauma room. I was standing about 6 feet from my head on the right side. I could see myself on the gurney and the nurses were washing my body as I had charcoal everywhere. (NDERF Note: oral charcoal is routinely given to treat oral medication overdose due to the charcoals absorbent properties) I distinctly remember watching them roll me onto my left side so they could was my back and buttocks.
My next memory is of waking up intubated, back in myself in the ICU.
Date NDE Occurred: 1/6/99
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Clinical death Suicide attempt. Took an overdose of muscle relaxers - about 150. Found about 4 hours later. Taken by ambulance to park and transferred to helicopter. Intubated in-route cardioverted X3 in-route. Unknown if cardiac arrhythmia or asystole.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I'm not sure, but I was not aware of any change in my form, etc...
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Comatose
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I knew that time had no meaning in the place I was.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Dark, murky, cloudy, smoky. Dark green, brown.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Just seeing the universe from outside.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? 1st - aloneness, isolation
2nd - wrongness
3rd - a total absence of God
4th - embarrassment/regret
5th - profound thankfulness
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe That the universe existed only for me. That all events on Earth occurred solely for my benefit, in my universe. That every person exists in their own personal universe. The may interact directly with each other but that each person's takes a different path based on the decisions one makes, but exists apart from all others...... Hard to explain…
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes If I turned around, I could not come back.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I knew that what I had done was wrong. That I would be forever
without God, if I chose to stay. But, I knew I had a choice.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
What is your religion now? Moderate
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes To be more spiritual. To leave the American dream and be
happy in life.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The concepts were just known. Like trying to describe a smell.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Waking up and waking up.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Some believed, some didn't. Not sure about influence.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No