I was on the operating table and noticed that my heart rate on the monitor changed to V-Tach. Suddenly I was sucked out of my body like a vacuum and saw the anesthesiologist calling my doctor who I saw in the parking garage. I saw that I was lying on the operating table, and then my body left the hospital and went into the universe, travelling very fast through space. I landed in a very cloudy place and the people I saw gathering around me were my dead patients that I had seen die when I worked in the intensive care unit. I thought to myself that I surely had died, for these people were dead. Then suddenly I saw my father who had died six months prior and he talked to me through my brain and led me to a tunnel. Before I approached the tunnel I was engulfed in a large ray of light, a light that was so beautiful and comforting and I felt unconditional love.
While in the light I had a life review and saw everything I had ever done in my life, every thought, word, deed, action, inaction was shown to me.
Then my father led me into this rotating tunnel, where at the end was a very beautiful garden. In the middle of the tunnel was a figure, who had his back to me. I was immediately thrown to my knees as my father stood next to me. My immediate thoughts moved to the Old Testament, where the Levites were attending the Arc of the Covenant, where the holy of holiness resided. I felt as if I were in this place and if the figure, who I thought was Jesus, turned around I would surely die. I heard three voices speak to me in unison. They said, 'You can stay or you can leave.' I remember when I heard this, I thought, 'I can stay or I can leave?' A part of me wanted to stay, yet another part of me wanted to leave. For I loved my father and he was next to me and I wanted to stay with him. I replied back to the voices, 'But I am not good enough to be here.' The most beautiful voice said to me, 'Oh, but you are.' I remember I was so humbled by this that even now when I think of it I cry. I kept trying to decide what to do, but could not make a decision.
Suddenly, I felt a pulling on my shoulders as if something was pulling me back, and it was revealed to me that the pulling was the prayers of my mother and my children. I immediately, said, 'I gotta go,' and I shot out of that tunnel so fast, hearing like a vacuum sound. I shot back through the universe and awoke looking at the doctor who told me that I was going to die. I told the doctor that I had been in heaven and that I was not going to die. When I saw my mother, I immediately started to cry and told her that I had seen my father. I ended up having five surgeries that year and survived.
Date NDE Occurred: Feb 1997
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I had a respiratory and cardiac arrest on the operating table.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was alert throughout the entire ordeal.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was alert throughout the entire ordeal.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I felt I was in that place for a long time.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I wear contact lens and I was able to see exceptionally well without them.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing seemed very acute.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I got into the middle of the tunnel.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I felt I was in heaven with my dad and my dead patients.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I stood in the light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I saw a beautiful garden beyond the tunnel I was in.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt myself leave my body, and soar through the universe very fast, yet my body was on the operating table, for my spirit hovered over the table.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I saw my entire life flash before me like a motion picture movie; I saw everything that I ever did - every thought, action, belief, inaction.
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future In my recovery, I have had visions that have come true. I have seen dead people.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I know there is a God now.
What is your religion now? Liberal 'Have a belief in a higher power, God'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I know there is a God now.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I learned that the reason for life is to love and be loved without measure.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have more compassion, love and understanding and I know that I am different because of this experience.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes For a time it was hard to discuss, for I thought I was crazy.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can read minds, my hands grow hot and can help others, I can see what is wrong with a person then I touch them. I have had visions that have come true. I have had premonitions that have come true. I have the ability to help people and animals and I can understand what animals have to say to me. I have problems with watches, they stop after I wear them for a week; I have a drawer full of watches that do not work. I have been locked inside of my car numerous times, where I have had to climb out of the window. I have set off car alarms when I am agitated, I have gone through six vacuum cleaners that usually break down in a month after I have used them. We went through four microwave ovens in several years. I used to work next to a copy machine that broke down so much that they had to replace it, and it had been new. Then it happened to another copy machine until they moved it away from me. I had a new car that stopped working and I was asked if I drove in snow, because my car froze, and it was in the spring with seventy degree temperatures.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I believe what I experienced is true, for my life has forever been changed by this experience. I am not the same, nor have I ever experienced the kind of love I felt in that light and I know that there is life beyond this one, completely.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared this immediately with my family and my doctor. I think they were shocked, but as time has gone on, they understand me and love me for what I am.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I am a nurse and patients had told me that they had these experiences, but I felt skeptical about believing them.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew I was changed forever because of that experience.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was real, because I can still remember every detail of it in full recall.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It was real, it happened, it changed me and I am forever different because of it.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? It was good, thanks for letting me vent.