I was sitting next to my daughter when the rock larger than the tour bus fell on the back of the bus where we were seated. My daughter and I were asleep at the time. I knew immediately that I had a pneumo-thorax and would die unless someone recognized it. I also remember my teeth hitting together hard to the point some broke, which is what actually probably caused the concussion. I was completely unaware of the hit on the head, which caused the teeth to break. I was totally focused on myself and had no knowledge of my daughter. I was told I needed to stand up and get off the bus, but I said I couldn't. Then the person said I had to muster all my strength and get up. The person has verified these words.
I started to stand and then I remember nothing of my physical surroundings until I ‘woke up’ on the X-ray table in the hospital in Cusco, 7 hours later. Yet I was told I was talking during the first part of the 7 hours. I was not aware that I had lost consciousness until probably a week later and had no idea of the length of time between the accident and arriving in the hospital. At first, I had no memory of what happened during those 7 hours, but when the memory returned it was extremely difficult.
I was physically unable to hardly move and sleep because of the injuries and couldn't initially understand why I had to come back to this physical body. What I remembered was that I had completely merged again with God. It was a void, darkness, but unconditional love. I was no longer a separate being. I was where I belonged, where I came from. It was perfect. When it was time to return I had to again differentiate from God and become a separate soul again. Yet I was still a part of God. Then I was back on Earth in this physical body.
Date NDE Occurred: 06/15/06
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Direct head injury. 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
I had bilateral pulmonary hemorrhages, a pneumo-thorax, concussion and multiple fractures on the left side. My blood pressure was dropping rapidly and my breathing slowed to only 4 times a minute. I was at an altitude of about 14,000 ft. I was told that I was cold and gray and the nurse felt like I was deciding whether to live or die.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I knew exactly what was wrong with my body. That continued for a few days after the accident as I drifted in and out of consciousness. But I felt no pain.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Just after the accident before I lost my awareness. Supposedly I continued to speak but I have no memory after the accident for 7 hours.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
The void was outside of space and time.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was dark but I felt that I could see.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Same as normal
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was a void, darkness but yet I felt it contained all light at the same time.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Exhilaration
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe That we are one with God; we are God, just differentiated from God to get a physical body and come to Earth.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I didn't specifically remember this until a year later on the anniversary of the accident. I realized that I had traveled into the future to see my life to see why I should return because I did not want to come back to Earth. I never recalled specifics. I felt at that moment like there was a wrinkle in time.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths Ecclectic - Catholic, Buddhist and Taoist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I spend more time in nature, especially in the mountains. The spiritual existence is what is most important in our life on this Earth. We aren't here necessarily to learn a lesson (although we do learn lessons when we stray off the path), but we are here to experience the joy of this place and the fellowship with all things. I spend usually 40 minutes in chanting and meditation every morning and then yoga or Tai Chi before going to work. I was never that consistent before the accident.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Ecclectic, but now also Hindu in addition to Catholic, Buddhist and Taoist
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was surprised that I experienced darkness. But the unconditional love was consistent with beliefs.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe that we can heal ourselves, that we understand our body better than anyone else. I believe that we are not just a physical body, but also an energetic and spiritual body. What happens on a spiritual and emotional level affects our physical body. If we are in balance in the spiritual and emotional bodies, then our physical body will be in health. If we are out of balance then the physical body will become diseased.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I encountered a definite presence that I would call ‘God’.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I existed as God, then differentiated to become me in this life time. During the experience again I become one with God and had to differentiate again to become me once more.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes We are all a part of God, originating from God.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes The void was God, all is God
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes We become one again with God, no separation. If our work is finished then we again merge with God. I had the sense that if our soul work isn't done that this merging doesn't happen. That was why other people had different near death experiences. I had rea
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Death is not to be feared. It is wonderful.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The void is unconditional love
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I eventually quit my job and traveled back to Peru for months at a time to try to learn about the spiritual healing traditions there that had probably saved my life. My priorities have changed; I am much more open to where spirit directs me. I have complete trust in Spirit to direct my life in all areas. If I think I have control, it is only an illusion. Large changes in my life.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes Relationships are based more on mutual spiritual quests. I don't have time for frivolous relationships
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is difficult to adequately convey the feelings.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience The hospital stay is less clear. The experience could have been today.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I see and hear spirits, sometimes angels. When I do Tai Chi I often hear the voice of the deceased Master or the mountain spirits instructing me (sometimes softly, sometimes rather scolding). I understand the lessons from nature, such as the way a cloud is formed, the birds flying, or the flowing of a river. I can connect with nature so that I can ask the wind to help me see the full moon by parting the clouds and it will happen.
More often, the spirits play tricks on me. For example when I was in the middle of nowhere in Montana about to run out of gas and I asked for a gas station. Immediately there was a gas station but it was closed! So I asked for an open gas station. In a few minutes, there was an open gas station but the first few pumps had no gas. Oh, come on!
I can talk with infants and children telepathically. I was visiting a pediatrician in Mexico when he said he had an interesting patient for me, a boy age 3 who wouldn't talk. They had run tests, even sent him to a specialist, but still didn't know why. But the boy ‘told’ me that words were a waste of time and people should talk like he did, through their minds. Telepathically I told him that he really needed to speak because they would keep running tests on him. Two days later, I saw the doctor. He told me that the boy had returned because he was sick. He verbally asked the doctor where I was and had started talking aloud! When a sick child or infant comes to the office and I can't find what is wrong, I just ask and they often know.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The experience of unconditional and complete love is the most significant yet the most difficult to maintain here on Earth. We become one again with God, no separation. If our work is finished then we again merge with God. I had the sense that if our soul work isn't done that this merging doesn't happen. That was why other people have different near death experiences. I had reached the ultimate goal. The void was God; all is God. I existed as God, and then differentiated to become me in this lifetime. During the experience, again I become one with God and had to differentiate again to become me once more. We are all a part of God, originating from God. The void is unconditional love.
I am uncertain as to whether or not I had a sense of a special purpose, at least not initially. As I relived the experience and asked the spirits why I had to return, the purpose became very clear. I needed to help others understand what lies for them after death so they won't be afraid. Also I help lost spirits cross over by finding the light, even though I do not recall seeing a light.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I was initially very angry that I needed to return here, so it wasn't until I was able to fully remember why I returned that I was able to share, probably about a month. No one truly understands. The ones that understand to some degree are those about to die or those that have a loved one about to die, or those who have had a NDE.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had read about the experiences, but mostly had seen loved ones that had passed on or a light. I didn't understand why my experience seemed so different.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was absolutely real. I had experienced the overwhelming love of the divine.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real When people don't believe in God, I say, ‘I don't have faith, I have experience’. I can't deny that experience.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes A shamanic exercise in the dying process brought back the memories.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Before the accident I had downloaded some information about my upcoming trip to Peru, which was a spiritual journey. The information said that the rites we were to receive were the highest rites of the Incans and the lore was that the physical body could be recreated after death. I had the sense that I might die on the trip. I was sitting in my office about 2 weeks before the trip and made that same comment to my office mate. After he left I heard a voice saying that: ‘yes, you might die’ and I had a choice about doing the work. I said I felt that the work was of the utmost importance and possibly could save the people of this world. I told no one about this and then forgot about it, until the accident.
As soon as the accident happened, I remembered the event but somehow knew I wasn't going to die. When I went back home and looked at the information that I had printed, there was no web address on the pages and I was never again able to find the website again despite entering the same search words. About a year and a half later, I returned to Peru. I met a shaman who read the coca leaves. He said I would come for 1-2 years to Peru to learn the Andean cosmology and healing traditions. I was a single parent with three kids, no way was that happening. I asked the spirits to release me from that path. Then three days later, my friend in Peru who had had surgery started bleeding. Because I am doctor, she asked for my help. But then she said that she thought the reason for the bleeding was because of something she had done wrong in her life.
I was out of my league medically. I asked for forgiveness from the spirits for asking out of my path and asked for help. I felt one of the mountain spirits come and sit on my shoulder like a bird and direct me in the healing. Then I saw him fly down and use its beak to put in a stitch. Then it came back on my shoulder and told me to tell her she was forgiven and healed. I said I couldn't do that. So, it repeated the command and again I said it didn't understand that I didn't have the power to do that. Then it said ‘Did you ask for my help?’ so I told her three times she was forgiven and healed. Then my friend ‘woke up’, said she was fine, and the bleeding did not return.
I thought, ‘uh-oh, I think I am going to spend 1-2 years learning these ways’. More like the rest of my life. It's difficult: this spiritual path, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I was surprised that I experienced darkness. But the unconditional love was consistent with beliefs. The hospital stay is less clear. The experience could have been today.