Experience Description

I was given sleeping pills and after taking them I awoke and felt much time had passed so I took more.

I felt I was in a room with bright white walls. I saw no walls but felt they were there. There was what I felt to be an authoritative being in the room with me. I didn't see him but felt it was a man. I felt so much love, peace, goodness. It felt I was wrapped in this love. I was raised by loving parents but this was far above anything I had ever known. Suddenly I was jarred by a voice saying, 'Do you want to stay or go with me?' It was like the voice had spoken a few times but I didn't hear it so now it was a strong voice. I wanted to go so badly; but I was a single mother with four small children. I started to try to explain this and how much I wanted to stay in this love. Suddenly I was back in my bed, gasping for air. I felt I had not been breathing for some time. My heart was jumping, I sat up turned on the light and saw that I had taken almost the entire bottle of pills.

I don't know if this was a near death experience; but I have always thought if I would have said I wanted to 'go' I would have died. That was over thirty years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1978

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Accident. Accidental overdose of sleeping pills Other Accidental overdose of sleeping pills Accidental overdose of sleeping pills.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I felt the extreme love and when I heard the voice say 'did I want to go?'

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Bright or incredible white.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Most was feelings, until the question was posed to me if I wanted to stay or go. That was audible.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes A feeling of a room; but didn't see walls.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I didn't see anyone but felt an authoritative man was there. I didn't know him, but felt he had a similar authority like my old family doctor. (He had died years before.) It was like someone who knew more than me, who I felt safe with, who I believed. He asked me if I wanted to stay or go with him.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was all light, but I felt it to.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Just this room that was filled with incredible love, & light. I felt it was a room but saw no walls

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Incredible love, warmth of love, safety. Just incredible love.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'spiritual, no religious affiliation'

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Moderate 'spiritual, no religious affiliation'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I knew I had stopped breathing. The love was so strong that if you had never felt this, it would be impossible to explain. I had a choice to 'stay or go' I chose to stay because of my responsibility to my small children. Believe me, if not for the feeling of responsibility, I would have gone.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have told a few people over the years. I always have said that I felt I was or could have been dying, but that I feel that it was my choice to stay here. I don't think anyone was influenced, but I feel my close friends know that I believe I had died or was dying.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain This was in 1978. I don't think I had ever heard of NDE but I really never thought about it.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Because of what I felt. The love. Also, because of the gasping when I woke up.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I believe what I experienced was true. Now whether this fits into your criteria of NDE I don't know. I know I had a choice to remain here or go.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain In 2003 my ex-husband died suddenly. He was fifty-six years old. He had a rough childhood, not much love. We were married as teenagers and it only lasted a few years. We remained friendly over the years. A few days after his death I dreamed he showed up in my dream. He looked about twenty-five years old. He was all excited. He was telling me, 'You gotta see this. You are not going to believe how great this is.' This dream left me with the feeling that he was in Heaven or somewhere where he was much loved.