As the mask was placed on my face I could see medication being injected into the line on my arm. The next thing I knew it was dark and I was afraid. Suddenly I was shooting down a tunnel. There were golden lights shining so bright, like squares or a mesh all around, I was going so fast, yet knew I wouldn't crash into anything. I remember thinking to myself, 'I'm in the matrix' (Why that word I don't know) 'I'm dying.' At the end, I saw a bright light with a slightly darker circle in it and my body began to slow down.
Suddenly I was standing in front of a massive being, an Angel I think. The beautiful white wings were stretched out. It was so big I couldn't see the face or head. Suddenly the wings began to close around me and I heard a voice saying, 'Don't be afraid, we will hold you until it is all over. You are going to be all right. We will stay with you and hold you.' As the wings closed around me, I was filled with white light that made my heart soar. I wasn't afraid it seemed to envelope me completely. I felt so peaceful and unafraid, so full of joy that I didn't want to leave. I don't remember anything else until I came to in the intensive care unit on the ventilator.
Date NDE Occurred: 21 st October 2004
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness I was on A ventilator in ITU Life threatening event, but not clinical death I was on a ventilator in ITUI had a chest infection which had triggered a severe asthma attack, as my body shut down in the resuscitation room I became hypoxic and experienced 'Silent Chest' where there is no longer any wheeze to be heard as air is not getting in or out of the lungs. I was taken to the intensive therapy unit where I was placed on a ventilator 'life support' machine.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal It was as if everything made sense to me and nothing else in the world mattered anymore. I knew I was ill yet was unafraid and ready to accept whatever happened, in fact wanting whatever to happen.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As I was paralyzed and sedated from the intubation.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I don't know how long I was away for but I didn't come back until a few hours before I was taken off the ventilator which was quite a few hours.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? I was in a different reality from life. My husband and daughter said that when they had visited me my eyes were open but 'there was no-one at home.' I don't even remember seeing them at all.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I could hear noises and voices in the background as doctors and nurses worked on me but I felt as If I wasn't there although I knew my body was.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I think it was an angel. It told me not to be afraid as they would hold me until it was all over and that I was going to be alright.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A brilliant white light at the end of the tunnel and when the wings enveloped me I became part of the white light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The tunnell was like a Matrix of bright golden lights kriss crossed all around as if there was more in them, I couldn't see
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Joy, happy, unafraid, sadness when I had to return.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal None - although I was raised as a Roman Catholic and left the faith.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I don't know what to believe anymore. In some ways, I want to go to church and start again but I don't believe that it is the church that is the way. Do I believe in God etc., I don't know. But I believe there is something after death now and that this is not the end. Everything will make sense to me when I die as it did on that day.
What is your religion now? Liberal Unsure
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I don't know what to believe anymore. In some ways, I want to go to church and start again but I don't believe that it is the church that is the way. Do I believe in God etc., I don't know. But I believe there is something after death now and that this is not the end. Everything will make sense to me when I die as it did on that day.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes It was as if I knew the place was where I should be. That I was safe and that this was as it should be.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I am more at peace. I don't get so worked up about petty little things, and I am not so critical of others. When I am hurt by things people do or say I can tell myself to let it go, it doesn't matter anymore.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain It was so beautiful, I didn't want to come back. I find it difficult to describe the wonderful colors I saw and the powerful emotions I was feeling.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The nurse in the intensive care unit. She thought it was a beautiful story and said that I was the second person in intensive care to have seen an angel.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It was so real I was shaken by it. I couldn't get it out of my mind and kept going over and over it. I couldn't seem to forget it. I wanted to tell everyone I met but was afraid of ridicule.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I still can't get it out of my head. I have since told others. Some have laughed others have envied me. One patient I told recently when I was back in hospital gave me a medallion of an angel and said the biggest angel was called Raph'l. I still believe something happened but I don't know what.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No