Experience Description

I can only tell you that it was dark, cold and very scary. I always thought I would see a light and someone there. There was nothing, not anything. I kept fighting to breathe. I kept hearing people around me, but it was as if I wasn't there anymore. Not in the same place as them.

It became quiet. At that point in time, I began praying, begging, pleading, bargaining, I wanted one more chance to prove myself. Although, I always thought I was a good person and a Christian. When the paramedics brought me back, I was numb. I was terrified, but relieved. I still dream about this and have a hard time coping with the experience.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 06-20-03

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I didn't know, but I was full of sepsis.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Frightening

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain
I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I seemed to more in tune to what people around me were saying and how they were reacting.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When everything became black, and I heard them say that they lost me.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did your vision differ in any way from normal? I couldn't see a thing.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? At first I could hear everyone and everything, especially the fire department getting there, and then, when I was at that point of begging for a second chance, I couldn't hear.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes A black, fast, cold tunnel.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control It was as though my life was flashing before me. My children's faces, my husband and the good life I had.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Methodist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain

What is your religion now? Moderate Trying harder to be more spiritual

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am terrified of this happening again, although we all know we are going to die. I pray more often and try to live life as though I am supposed to.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It was the worst possible feeling that one can imagine. I could hear my children screaming and crying, but my body was frozen. I couldn't see or talk. I could hear the paramedics saying we lost her. I then started to see a tunnel of darkness, which was very cold and uninviting. I was terrified. It was such a feeling of evil. I remember trying to physically grab others, to take them with me. Although, I couldn't move. I prayed at that point and begged God to give me another chance, to please let me live and not die in front of my young children. I was not ready and begged for his mercy.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes A few loved one's have passed in my lifetime. I often dream about them, and they come to me in my dreams.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All I know, is that I need to live life to its fullest and not take anything for granted anymore. I hope God will be there for me when it is my time again.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I spoke to the chaplain in the hospital. He clearly said Jesus wasn't there, because it wasn't my time. My husband is very supportive.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I was so scared and depressed.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes