Experience Description

I remember moving slowly through a circular feeling space that was surrounded by darkness. I knew that I could not go out of the space. It seemed bright but there was a brighter source of light that I knew I had to go towards. As got closer everything got faster. I was at first afraid but then started seeing faces on edge. I remember looking at them and finally having the sense of knowing one who gave me a feeling of wellbeing that everything was all right. As I got closer to light source there was feeling of great joy around and in me, but then I could not stay as I was not finished and had to go back. It seemed that I was told this by the familiar face with great sorrow. I was also very sad when I came back. I remember crying hysterically. It took time to calm down. The way back was very fast, I was trying not to and then I was suddenly there.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1971/approximate

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Allergic reaction Problem with anesthesia in office-hard to be brought back/afterwards /doctor and nurse very upset and mother{she was in outer office} said she heard them yelling and she tried to go in but could not/also said it was an unusually long time, but she did not Life threatening event, but not clinical death Problem during dental surgery/doctor later heard was under prosecution for malpractice/I never followed up Probably. I was having trouble afterwards with the dentist who took over practice. I mentioned to him some things that happened and the fear of going under anesthesia. He had a shocked look on his face and said I did not need to for extractions - which was the simple procedure I had had done. I also heard of others experiencing problems with other doctor. But I was young and did not really want to talk about what happened.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Disturbing

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain Knew I was different.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Very alert sense of being able to look around and trying to see what was outside of the round area but also that had no choice but to go forward and not to the back or sides.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Seemed like everything was either at times moving very slowly then quickly, at the very end when coming back it went very fast.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Rushing sound as went fast towards source and then back seemed like mumbling sounds of many talking as I was passing.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Knew it was rounded at the edges and was going to something in the distance.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes On the edge of my lit area but also outside. I finally knew one who made me feel that this was alright but later was very unhappy for me.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Space I was in was bright, but there was a brighter source of light ahead of me.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear, joy, sadness.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain Knew there was an end at the main light source but I could not stay and go beyond that.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will It was not my choice I was forced to go back I did not want to. It was made by that main light source.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Roman Catholic

What is your religion now? Liberal Roman Catholic

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No Did not really want to think about it, detached.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Extremely upsetting, vivid, emotional frightening.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Sometimes vague experiences odors that I saw before the real experiences when they happen like Deja vu.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Best is hope that there is something after death. Worst was not staying and having to come back.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Just writing this is causing feelings of unease and sadness, even though so many years later, still vivid for certain images.