Experience Description

My husband and I were on a camping vacation in the woods in Maine. I woke up that morning early and felt great. I walked down to the public showers in the state park campground, took a shower and got dressed. At that point, I felt like I was going to pass out. I knew I had to make it back to our tent because if I collapsed anywhere along the trail back no one would find me and I had no ID on me. When I returned I collapsed at the site. My husband dragged me into the car and we drove to the nearest town about forty-five miles away. He said when he found the hospital, and then went in to get help; by the time they came out, I was unconscious in the car.

I remember hearing voices and comprehending what was going on. I heard nurses calling my name but I could not respond physically (in my head I wanted to tell them all the pain I had). I heard the emergency room doctors discussing possible causes for my unconsciousness and hearing them ask my husband if there was any chance I could be pregnant (which I was emphatically trying to answer them and say no but nothing came out). I remember my body convulsing and shaking uncontrollably and I remember being so very cold. I heard the nurses saying how dangerously low my blood pressure was rapidly dropping. I remember them taking me in for an ultrasound and hearing them talking about the large amount of blood filling up my abdominal cavity.

All of this time they said I was 'unconscious' to them but to me, I was very much there with them. Time didn't seem to matter, it could have been one minute, or it could have been one hour, but it all blended. I was in pain and very cold. Then I remember 'waking up' just as they were putting on a mask for anesthesia and swatting them away. Just as suddenly, I felt no more discomfort. The pain was gone, and I was no longer cold but the perfect temperature; pain free as I had never felt it before. All I heard was a sound that sounded like blood rushing through my ears while I was in a perfectly quiet dark place (womblike). Then I felt as though I was floating (as if on one of those moving walkways in airports) but much quicker and smoother. I was surrounded by darkness but suddenly I was headed towards a bright light (just like the light at the dentist's office but bigger and brighter and more all-encompassing). I felt no fear, I had no opinions about it one way or another, but as I got closer to it I realized that I didn't want to go there yet and I turned away from it and just as swiftly was surrounded by the darkness again. Then it was as if the television was switched off; no more transmissions coming through. I could not hear voices from the staff.

I remember waking up in the intensive care unit and the surgeon and my husband were by my bed.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 8/19/03

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Surgery-relatedChildbirth ruptured ectopic pregnancy Life threatening event, but not clinical death Doctors unable to diagnose problem quickly - rapidly losing blood - pressure dropping (from internal hemorrhaging).

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes One minute I was in excruciating pain and cold - the next I was at perfect peace with everything around me. No pain but also I had no feeling (no feeling of lying on the stretcher or operating table) no sensation of touch or smell - and instead of shivering from the cold, I was perfectly warm all over.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? They said I was unconscious when they brought me in - I could hear what they were saying but could not answer or speak, but I heard everything said.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time meant nothing, no sense of hurried pace or time dragging, it is what it was.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Just the sound of blood rushing through your ears - like when you're in a very quiet room.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain More like being surrounded by darkness.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Huge bright white light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain Confusion.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Don't want to come off sounding like I'm crazy, don't want to bore people or think that it's just a sympathy getting ploy, I can't describe the actual events that are vivid to me but hard to put into words

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Best: being pain free (emotionally as well as physically). Worst: coming back.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Only one friend and my husband. Both of whom I feel safe talking about things like this.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Does anyone know where I might be able to go in my area to find counseling or more information on this?