It was 9:00 pm. I was lying on the couch with my six-year-old son, who was sleeping. I had just smoked half of a cigarette and was watching a show about haunted houses. My heart started pounding, my left side started tingling, and I was having trouble breathing. I thought, I am having a heart attack, but that can't happen. Not now. I got up, crushed, and swallowed some aspirin. I laid down and propped my legs up in order to have better circulation. I kept feeling different things happening to my body, but I kept fighting to hold on.
Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. I kept doing things to stay in my body like flexing my fingers and toes, trying to do deep breathing, which was hard because I was struggling with that, and most important, I would feel my son's face and hair, just to keep that connection. He kept me going. I should have called 911, but I was afraid that if I left my son's side, I would die. I was scared and I prayed to God. I told Him that I knew He could save me, and that I needed to be alive to take care of my son. There was a point when I left my body. I didn't exactly see, but was given the knowledge that if I left now, my son would never recover from the experience. I was uncertain of what was going to happen, but I knew that I wanted to stay alive. I heard a familiar voice, although I can't quite remember whom, saying; 'You must return now.' Eventually, I felt myself back in my body. I was absolutely freezing even though I was totally dressed and my thermostat was at seventy-four degrees. It took a long time to get warm. Also, it took a while to regain the different feelings and sensations in my body. My chest still hurt and I was totally exhausted. I was so grateful to be back and alive with my son.
Date NDE Occurred: 03/11/08
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack I had just smoked half of a cigarette and felt like that may have brought on the heart attack. Other 'I'm not sure if Clinical death occurred, but I think I may have had a heart attack.'
I felt that I was having a heart attack.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Frightening
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It is hard to say, but I think it was when I was on the verge of leaving my body.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I felt that things would be bad in the future for my son if I left, but that if I stayed, things would be alright.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I saw things around me, but it was as though the room was not real.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The sound of the TV was very muted during my experience, even when I was consciously trying to focus on it.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I didn't see anyone; rather I felt impressions of them, speaking to me and giving me knowledge.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt fear about leaving my son. I also felt so much love for him, which was my reason to stay with him.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control What I learned, was that it would have been really bad for my son if I would have left him at this time.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Since I have lived through this experience, I don't know exactly what is to come, only that it will be ok.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate I am LDS.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Moderate I am LDS.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I learned that I had to go back to my son in order to help him. I could only help him if I lived through the experience.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The two things I learned, were that I must start taking care of myself better, and also that I have even more of a special job, as the mother of this, my child.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It has still been less than twenty-four hours since this has happened, but I believe with all that I know of life, that this was real. I believe this happened, not only as a warning to change some things in my life, but it is also a gift that I have survived.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I believe that I have a definite purpose in being here, even if I don't fully understand it.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I don't know if what I experienced was truly a NDE, but I feel it was.