I was rear ended in a car accident that sandwiched me accordion style between a city bus and the dodge truck that hit me going fifty miles an hour. I was knocked unconscious and the vehicle's door had to be removed with the Jaws of Life. I suffered extensive wounds to my lower body - and a concussion - I was laid up at home on the couch for twelve weeks. I have since then made a fully physical recovery.
My memories of the incident were seeing the truck headed towards me as I was stopped behind the bus - I could see it approaching in my rearview mirror - and I thought 'I'm going to die and I'm really going to miss my kids.'
Then the airbag blew up in my face and I was in this amazing golden light - and it felt like joy all around me, I felt fabulous - no pain, no worries, complete contentment and the warm light was 'God' or my idea of God. I felt loved and cared for and precious - which was fabulous - and it seemed like everything made sense, it was like an 'Ah hah' moment.
This presence didn't tell me it was God - that was my later determination; we try to ascribe labels to things that shouldn't have labels. Anyway, this intense energy force wanted to be with me and that was all I cared about at that time.
Then suddenly I was watching from above my jeep. I could see all the people moving around and I felt this intense need to tell them that it didn't matter, that I was great, and I even seemed to not really understand what they were trying to accomplish, 'Why would you try to revive me? What would be the purpose?' It seemed like I could not feel the desire that they felt as if I was removed and so I became entertained by watching them walk around and yell at each other.
Then the presence asked me a question. I was asked a very simple question, the voice was male, soothing, not a particularly low voice and not very loud. The question was casual, kind of off the cuff. He asked me, 'Do you want to?' I knew what he meant was do you want to stay and go on. I said, in my head because I seemed to have lost my ability to speak, 'My children still need me. I want to stay.' The next thing I knew I was back in my body staring into a blond paramedic's face and he said, 'She's breathing again.' And everyone was moving very fast around me again.
Date NDE Occurred: 'September 12, 2007'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes AccidentDirect head injury car accident Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I was in a serious car accident and was unresponsive on the scene.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I was out of my body.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was out of my body.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time seemed to move slowly - people talked slowly.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Colors were brighter and definition was amazing I wasn't sure if I was way above or right beside the paramedic - I could see it all.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear what everyone was saying even the people whispering at the bus stop - my God she's dead.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes More like engulfed in light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? It seemed like finally everything made sense - there was no pain. I had morphine once in the hospital for a torn ligament - and it was a lot like that - only I was very sharp and aware and in the presence of an intelligence that adored me, or so it seemed.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Actually not at that time but now I can tell when things are going to happen. I can't control the subject material like 'Will I get that new job,' but I do get really strong gut reactions about people and events that have oddly always been correct.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I was a Christian before and still am.
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I was a Christian before and still am.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes It's difficult to explain but I try to carry the energy that I experienced that day with me.
I have struggled to find words and have given up. How do explain something without a reference point? If it is 'like' something then it is like many things combined that all sound clichéd and reduce it to simple words without the incredible energy - and it minimizes the experience. When you attempt to define, you simply negate.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I find most of my old friends pedantic and annoying - I have become more isolated. I prefer to be alone or with my children - except I have this huge need to make a difference and help people in a real way. I volunteer at the homeless shelter and am pursuing an emergency medical technician certification - even though it pays one fifth of my current salary, I have become rather illogical as far as seeking material gain. I can't seem to purchase anything that I enjoy and prefer to just give it away.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I was surrounded by a golden light. The emotion was some combination of peace, joy, euphoria, intense but calm - absolutely beyond that any words can express. All of this sounds so clichéd - all I know is I told everyone that I no longer fear death, I actually am anticipating that experience again.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I answered that above.
Sometimes I get really strong gut reactions to tell someone something, to drive somewhere, to give somebody something, and there have been some very startling results. I get feelings from people and buildings - I can usually tell who is calling on the phone.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I think all fear is related to the fear of death and I have absolutely no fear of death. For months after the experience, I was depressed and wondered why I had decided to come back. The pain and recovery after the accident was excruciating. I was glad to be with my children but life seemed to be such a dichotomy from what I had experienced - that mental reality was difficult to integrate.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My mom and my children immediately afterwards - but I haven't told anyone else.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was definitely real.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? You may wonder why I am emailing you now - I am wondering that myself. I felt a strong urge to do this today - even though my experience is still very private to me. I am hoping that you will respect my privacy - I am a respected scientist and prefer not to have my colleagues know about my spiritual experiences. But am also fascinated by the science of NDE and have read a few books - however none of them seem especially scientific.