Experience Description

I was on holiday with my parents at my uncle and aunt’s place. We came back from a walk. Hastily, I strode across the room to go upstairs and change my clothes. My father was sitting in the living room near the stairs, listening to some music. I started to rush up the stairs, but both my feet slipped on the first steps and I fell. The thought flashed through my mind, 'This is where I die.' After absorbing this thought for a moment, I left my body. I was no longer in the room and could no longer see my father.

I saw in a 'moment' (although time was different from how it is on Earth) my whole life, from birth to my current age of fifteen years. It was something like watching a movie, but with the addition of all the sensations, feelings, and experiences that I had lived through, including what my consciousness was like and even my ability to love others. Everything about me was present in what I was being shown. I watched this 'film' without being able to change anything, but with no sense of judgment, no regret, and no enmity. I was perfectly ready to die… and I felt so good!!!

Then a cone of white light greeted me. It was pure and intense love, peace, compassion and absolute knowledge. This cone had opened up right at the top of my head and so I found myself thus against a kind of luminous 'robe' worn by a being made of light, a man I did not know but with whom I felt I belonged - as I had never felt on Earth with anyone else. Surrounding this central being, there were human figures of a very light gray color, almost white, but not as white as the central being was. These human silhouettes were facing me.

I felt so good that I wanted to remain there so I said, not with words but with a sort of telepathic communication, 'I want to stay here.' One of the figures responded, 'But this is not your time, you must go back.' I felt annoyed because I thought the reason they were telling me 'no' was that they didn't want me, so I asked again, 'I want to stay.' 'No, it’s not your time, you must go back.' was the answer, again.

I was increasingly annoyed by rejection. With anger, I said, 'I want to stay!', and then the main being, the man, communicated with me, saying, 'You must go back. You must become a doctor.' He said it with such love, so gently and compassionately, but still so firmly, that I knew I did not have a choice.

As soon as I heard those words I returned to my body very abruptly, and the right side of my head violently hit the stairs, but I did not lose consciousness and I immediately stood up. I felt a sharp pain coming from my right ear. I reached back, touched my ear, and then observed that my fingers were red with blood. My father ran over towards me, along with my mother and my uncle and my aunt. They drove me to the hospital so that my ear could be stitched up.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1985

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No 'rien de particulier Une adolescente en bonne santé qui rentrait d'une promenade' Other 'rien de particulier Une adolescente en bonne santé qui rentrait d'une promenade'

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal It’s like an expansion of consciousness. As if a horse had been wearing blinders and suddenly they were removed from his eyes. I realized how much greater that dimension is than our everyday one.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When the top of my head opened and I was 'bathed' in the cone of light, of happiness, love and the knowledge of that being of light.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There was another kind of time, unknown on Earth.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. You don’t see with your eyes, but rather with your heart, consciousness or soul.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Same thing - I did not hear with my ears but through telepathy. Communication was faster, truer, easier, and more obvious. There was no barrier as there is when we use words, which so often don't convey what we want them to.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes An immaculate white light, pure, full of love, peace, compassion, and absolute knowledge.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Another dimension, larger than everyday life.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, intense joy, a feeling of having found 'my place' with my family, my soul community.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I understood that life on Earth is difficult and heavy, and that the body is cumbersome. In the experience, everything was easy, light, and immediate.

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic aucune pratique religieuse famille catholique non pratiquante

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic je fais la différence entre la foi et la pratique d'une religion J'ai la foi en la vie, en quelque chose de plus grand que nous sans connotation religieuse

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Je n'avais pas de croyances particulière mais je savais à 15 ans que la vie sur terre était difficile, lourde

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No From the age of six months old, I would have Out of Body Experiences (OBEs) where I would go through a tunnel at night and meet with human figures. There would be conversations and laughter. So for me it was natural. It was life on Earth that was not natural and that was from a very young age, two years old.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes J'ai tét accueilli dans le Tout, la Vérité

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Un Être de lumière avec un amour et une compassion exceptionnelle

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes L'Etre de lumière central m'a dit que je devait redescendre et que je devais être médecin. Je veux être médecin depuis l'âge de 4 ans et j'ai reçu ce message à 15 ans

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes On m'a dit que ce n'était pas mon heure Alors il y aura mon heure....il faut vivre sur terre et un jour, je serai attendue et acceptée

Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Faire les choses du quotidien en pleine conscience et avec amour Cultiver la patience et accepter les choses et les expériences terrestres avant de retourner dans cette dimension extra -ordinaire

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Le retour malgré moi...je n'ai pas eu le choix de rester comme je le voulais. Le retour au corps, à la matérialité est extrêmement difficile. Je l'ai vécu comme injuste

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes L'amour que l'on porte en soi ...on part avec quand c'est nôtre heure. C'est un bel espoir car faire le bien sur terre est essentiel...vous repartirez avec.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There are just no words to allow me to describe everything about that amazing experience!!!

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience Cette expérience ne relève pas de la mémorisation Il s'agit d'une expérience unique, une maturation de la conscience accélérée d'une maturité qui vous est donnée très vite. Je suis marquée à vie par cette expérience comme "un cheval marqué au fer rouge et qui appartient à un élevage"

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No I had had them before. When I was six months old I already had a different sort of consciousness, and those experiences lasted until I was seven years old.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes For the first time, in Canada. It was well received and what was important to me was that it allowed me to give it a name and to understand it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was an experience, just like the experience of learning to ride a bike for the first time. It’s acquired for life.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I did not memorize what I told you about this experience, I remember it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Natural OBEs, just like when I was little, and during the deaths of patients I accompany until the end.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I was told it was not my time, but that eventually my time will come. I was told that I must live on Earth and then one day they will be waiting for me and I’ll be accepted.

It was a unique experience; it caused an accelerated maturation of my consciousness. It was a maturity, which was given to me very quickly. I was marked for life by this experience, as a horse on a cattle ranch is branded by a hot iron with the mark of that ranch. I had a terrible time coming back to Earth because I felt rejected. I was angry for a long time at 'them,' up there; I would frequently speak to them when my life was hard, asking them why they had sent me back. I developed a rebellious personality and was shocked by all the injustices of this terrestrial world.

I began to understand the experience in 1993 during a trip to Canada, when someone told me for the first time about NDEs. I was twenty-three years old, so it was eight years after my experience. Then I read the books by Raymond Moody and I understood that I was not alone. But I did not tell my colleagues, doctors, anything for twenty-seven years. That was this year, at the age of forty-two, I met Sonia Barkallah, Raymond Moody and Jody Long at the [Second International NDE Conference] meeting in Marseille, and it freed me to talk about my experience.

My first public lecture on the subject in Lille, alongside the spiritual father of the NDEs was a true revelation, and finally gave some meaning to my mission on Earth. That was the end of my anger, my feeling of injustice and my frustration. What I lived through is now acknowledged.

It is a gift that I receive as such today, along with all the people I met in Marseille and Lille. But at the age of fifteen, and with that forced-return to Earth, I struggled to live happily. It was a long way to acceptance and patience. Twenty-seven years to live through happy and dramatic experiences down here and finally give it a meaning!

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Complete questionnaire. Thank you, Jody and Jeffrey, for your site and that work of collecting NDE stories and studies, which is so important. To help people feel free to speak about their experiences is essential. I have already pointed out this site to people who told me their NDEs.