I was visiting a friend of my boyfriend's; the friend lived about twenty minutes out of town, on a farm. My boyfriend at the time was a jerk, to keep things simple. We had a volatile relationship and had been dating for just over a year; we had just moved in together.
The three of us smoked some hash oil and were sitting in the living room talking. The TV was on, and we were watching CNN as the US invaded Iraq. This was very upsetting for me, as I believed very strongly that there would be no WMD found, and that the government had ulterior motives for the invasion. I was very sad for the people of Iraq, and very angry with the USA. My boyfriend and his friend were not concerned; instead they were discussing my boyfriend's unemployment. He wanted to get a job at the Post Office because many of his other friends worked there, and had numerous ‘girlfriends’ all over the city, at various businesses. He was speaking as though I were not in the room, and I thought it was strange, as though he really did not care about me or my concerns in the least.
The house we were at had a dog; I am very allergic to dogs. I started having some difficulties breathing, but my inhaler was in the car and I didn't want to get up, so I just calmed my breathing by breathing through my nose. I started feeling very light-headed and a bit dizzy, but blamed the asthma. I experienced some strange sensations, breathing-related, but it wasn't enough to get the attention of the other two in the room so I don't know if that was real or imagined.
I started to panic, because I was feeling very ‘strange.’ In an instant, it seemed as though I was floating above my body; I was in the upper corner of the room (to the right of my body). The first thought I had was that it felt so amazing. My breathing issues had disappeared and I felt relief. Then I realized that I was in the air, and way too high to be really there, and I looked down and saw my body sitting in the sofa. I panicked again because I had heard of people dying and floating above their bodies, and I believed that I was dead or dying and I was frustrated because of the circumstances I was in.
I had always been a top student in school, and worked hard. I did not want to disappoint my family by dying of something as foolish as being too lazy to fetch my inhaler, not to mention being high at the time and in the presence of my boyfriend, who I really did not like very much.
What I remember at that point is being in ‘nowhere’ - there was nothing I could see or feel, I was just in a dark (but not scary dark, just an absence of everything dark) place. I had ‘someone’ who was like a guide, explaining to me that I am not ‘me, that is just the body I am currently residing in. They didn't tell me this, I just knew in my head all of a sudden. Then they showed me ‘my” experiences in literally a flash. I saw my birth, and every moment of my life concurrently - not a slideshow really, but my entire life was visible. I was shown various things in the normal world (don't know where we were though...), and saw so much more than what I normally see. The colors were incredibly visible, and every object, leaf, breath was ‘visible’ - I could see everything ‘vibrating’ - it was as though rocks, leaves, the ground, the air - everything was ‘alive.’
All of a sudden, I realized the real purpose of life; I realized that everything I had considered to that point as important was really incredibly superficial. It was so silly that I had stayed up countless nights worrying about my marks, and pouring myself into school work. I finally understood my purpose on this planet, and was so incredibly giddy over it. I remember being told I had to return for change, and remember thinking over and over ‘I cannot forget this, I MUST remember this, I HAVE to remember all of this.’ As I returned to my body, my boyfriend was driving me home in my car. I came up to the car from behind it, and was very sad to return. I returned to my body foot first, and then finally was ‘sucked’ back fully. I remember feeling incredibly disoriented; I had to ‘re-learn’ all the ‘laws’ of the planet earth; gravity was very, very difficult to adjust to. I felt as though I was being sucked to the earth, it was so hard to walk. I was incredibly tired, it was a lot of work just to lift my head upright, let alone lift my legs. I remember turning to my boyfriend and it was like I didn't know who he was. I asked him ‘Is this the life I chose? Are YOU the person I chose?’ and then I couldn't stop laughing because I knew I had made a big mistake.
I went for apples with my mom shortly after we returned home, and I couldn't stay awake, I literally fell asleep at the table. I don't think I was very coherent. I went home and fell asleep at about 5pm and slept till about 9am the next day.
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Allergic reaction Mild asthma attack Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening Experienced a mild asthma attack prior to event.
This experience occurred the day the US invaded Iraq, in March of 2003. I was consumed and devastated by the news, and felt very emotional about this. I was watching the events unfold on the news in the moments prior to the out of body experience.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I did not have another appearance or form, the best way to describe it is when you are watching a movie or TV show narrated in the first person - I was only a ‘background’ voice/entity.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was very alert throughout the experience. It felt like I was just in a different room, but experiencing very surreal situations.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I had no clue as to time; it did not seem to exist. But time did elapse, and I did move because when I came to I was no longer on the couch but in my car.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Just the voice, but I didn't ‘hear’ it with my ears. It was like there was just another voice in my head.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Elation, relief, complete joy. I was so happy to truly ‘understand’ life.
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe At the time, I was trying desperately to grasp on to these lessons, but it felt as though ninety-nine percent was lost when I returned to my body. It wasn't until I read ‘the amazing power of deliberate intent’ years later that I ‘remembered’ it. Essentially, the purpose of life is to experience radiant joy, to feel elation and excitement, and that we are the creators of our existence. I got goose bumps upon reading this, and knew instantly what they were speaking of.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will When I was informed I had to return, I was very saddened. I almost dreaded it, the ‘place’ I was in was so pure and free, and enjoyable.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I was finally able to leave my boyfriend and our unpleasant relationship. And now, since rediscovering my truth to life, I enjoy life much more and more aware of deliberately surrounding myself with what I enjoy.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The knowledge that I was given during the experience disappeared as I returned to my body; I was left repeating to myself ‘you MUST remember, you MUST remember this!’ The ‘place’ I went was not a physical place, more like empty space. I ‘heard’ voices, but not through my ears - it was more like I was being told ‘inside’ my head. Not my voice in my head I heard, but an all-being entity more or less. There is nothing in the physical world in which I live that resembles my experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Best part - the emotional release, feeling that there was so much more to life than I had ever believed.
Worst part - returning to my body, adjusting to gravity.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I try to ‘feel people out’ to see how they react. My parents and their friends are all very open-minded so I am comfortable sharing this experience with them. I told my best friend, my husband, sister. Otherwise, when relevant, I simply tell people that I had a life-altering experience that has led me to believe various things with unwavering faith. Most people are supportive in their reactions, and put more weight into my thoughts on the Law of Attraction (which is a significant part of what I believe I was told). They have seen the changes in my life subsequently, so I think they doubt it less.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No