Experience Description

This memory began coming back to me after I had been home from the hospital for about 2 weeks. I don't remember floating above the room, or any tunnel or anything described on your website. What I experienced was this: I found myself standing outside the archway of a living room area. (There was no door.)

Inside was a sofa. Sitting on the sofa was my grandmother. Standing next to her, talking to her, was my sister Barbara, who passed away last year from colon cancer. Standing next to her, was my twin sister Diane, who had died at birth when we were born. (The cord had been wrapped around her neck and the doctors could not save her.) Except Diane was not a baby here; she was a grown adult. There were more people standing behind them.

Everything was in black, white and grey, like an old photograph. There was a mist, or fog, covering everything. I didn't have a clear view. I could not make out the faces, but, even so, I recognized my grandmother and two sisters. I got the impression that my twin Diane moved forward, and she was happy or curious to finally see me. Then my sister Barbara did a double take and looked at me intensely, as if she was shocked to see me. I saw her head move, but I could not see her facial expressions.

Then it was over, that's all I remember.

I think I was given a glimpse of the afterlife and what was going on there. I never stepped through the archway into the living room. I stayed outside the room and looked in. I don't think I was supposed to be there, it wasn't my time. Maybe that is why it was black, grey, and foggy.

I also did not see my mother, father, or my other sister Beth, the one who passed away 15 years ago. They could have been the people standing in the background, but I did not recognize them. My father had been an abusive alcoholic, and my mother and my sister Beth both had many problems. My mother was terrified on her deathbed and did not want to die because of the way she had lived her life.

When my sister Beth died unexpectedly from a bacterial infection fifteen years ago, I rushed back home for her funeral. While playing with her children in the living room, I felt her spirit up towards the ceiling; it was so intense and real, it gave me goose bumps.

But I do not recall seeing my sister Beth, or my mother or father, in the living room. I don't know who the people in the background were.

My grandmother and my sister Barbara were both religious Catholic believers, and Diane had died at birth. I am a Christian, so maybe that is why I saw these three in the living room.

I did not feel any peace, love, evil, or anything. What I felt was more like just curiosity, like I was crashing a party I wasn't supposed to be at and like I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was almost spying on their afterlife existence, taking a peek. But I stayed outside the living room, because it was not my time, and I was not supposed to be there.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 'July 21, 2011'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' surgery - heart sped up and slowed down then on respirator for 12 hours On May 19, 2011 I had a hysterectomy that showed two separate cancers. On July 13, 2011, the Doctor went in with a laparoscopic robot to get lymph node samples. Somehow, the robot tore my small intestine and it leaked into my bladder creating a hole in my bladder. On July 21, 2011, after many tests to find the hole in my small intestine, I was rushed into emergency surgery at 11:00 pm at night to repair both small intestine and bladder. As the surgery was ending, my heart raced and then almost stopped. I was on a respirator for twelve hours and in intensive care for a full day.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I looked at my grandmother, my sister Barbara and my sister Diane as an adult, and even though I could not see their faces, I knew who they were.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I looked at my grandmother, my sister Barbara and my sister Diane as an adult, and even though I could not see their faces, I knew who they were.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning That my twin sister Diane, who died at our birth, was in adult form when I saw her. And I recognized her.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was in black, white and grey and covered by a fog. I was an uninvited guest looking in; I wasn't meant to be there.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I did not notice sounds.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Don't recall.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw my grandmother sitting on the couch, my sister Barbara, who had died a year ago from colon cancer, standing next to her, and my twin sister Diane, who died at our birth because the cord was wrapped around her neck. She was in adult form, not a baby.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm A living room with a sofa. I think the reason it was black white and grey with a fog was because I was just looking into the room, I was not supposed to be there.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Curiosity. Wonder. I was amazed at what I was seeing. It was a learning experience. I was seeing something new for the first time.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Don't recall.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist Presbyterian / Christian

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist Presbyterian / Christian

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes The entire experience was special; for example, the fact of my twin Diane looking forward to seeing me and moving towards me. Also, now I feel I got a glimpse of Heaven, and I know what awaits me when I do die

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I think I will look at things in life a little differently now.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? My twin sister Diane (as an adult) moving forward, and I perceived she was happy to be with me, like she was thrilled to finally meet me again. And my sister Barbara looking at me shocked, like I wasn't supposed to be there. Maybe that is what sent me back to life.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Uncertain I am going to share these with both my doctor and a church minister as soon as I am able. I don't know if I will share this with my last two living siblings or not. I have not decided.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I read Moody's book years ago. I am a Christian and I attend church. I don't think these factors affected my experience, since mine took place in a grey living room and there was nothing like that in the book.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real As soon as I remembered it, I saw the experience as 'definitely real.' I did not remember it until a few weeks after I came home from the hospital.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I still see my experience as 'definitely real.' A little at a time, the memory of it has been coming back. It definitely feels like a memory of something that happened, and not of a dream.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No