My experience happened in two parts; I had an OBE during surgery and an NDE after the operation. It's important for me to also tell about my OBE as I had an encounter in it. Some days before this I had a dream where a man presented himself to me to tell me that I ‘would see them all.’ At the moment, I really didn't understand this.
I will always remember this day of March 15, 2011. The previous day I entered hospital almost like an emergency, as I had a quite advanced cancer of my left kidney. This morning on the 15th when I was waking up, I was very anxious as everybody does just before an important surgery, I assume. But there I was thinking again about this dream and I was slightly scared as I didn't know more. In short, I had to prepare as they were coming to pick me up for surgery. In the preparation room, I started to pray, as I never did since quite some time not since my second communion. So, this was a long time ago. I started to ask for the protection of my guide, of my angel, God and his Sons, the one of my loved ones who were already on the other side. I asked protection to all those I could. I held a part of a towel that a nurse gave me, as I also had a tough cold and flu, I felt really bad.
Once in the surgery room, when the nurses were preparing me, one of them kept me from moving. He started talking to me to make me relax. He asked me what I liked to do in life. Without thinking, I answered that I liked to help people around me and that it was important for me seeing them smile after I helped them. I didn't know that this would be very important later. Once everything was ready, the moment came when I had to go to sleep and that’s when everything started.
During surgery, I was connected to a machine that took over but I didn't really understand what the anesthesiologist told me. Suddenly, without even feeling anything before, I found myself there in the surgery room. I asked myself what was going on, as I saw everybody working around the operating table. I said to myself, 'But what the hell is happening there? What are they doing? Why am I here? What happened?’ Then I went closer to see and there I caught a glimpse what they did, and then I understood. I told myself that there on the table was me. At first I thought that I was dead, but then I told myself that, ‘No, otherwise I would have seen them trying to reanimate me. All is normal’.
So I was moving a bit around in the room until I noticed something, there was one person staring at me and seeing me moving around. I wondered, 'Well, they even have a psychic nurse,' as he was wearing white. I started to talk to him, he was at the other side of the table, but he did not answer. I insisted a bit, but still nothing. I didn't feel anything evil coming from him, quite the reverse. Then I decided to stop talking to him and continued to watch what the surgeon and the other persons were doing.
Then by curiosity, I wanted to look beyond the room. Without noticing it, I went through a wall to find myself in a corridor where I saw a crouching and crying person. Then I came back into the surgery room, and then suddenly, nothing anymore. At least I have no further memory of the rest. I think that this was the moment when I woke up because that is what the nurses told me later. I then fell back into sleep for three long hours.
That's where My NDE started. I found myself in a white light, in the beginning wondering where I was, but then I understood. The strange thing is that at the beginning I didn't see the famous tunnel, could be that I passed it too fast or it simply wasn't there. This light is a bit difficult to explain, ground, ceiling and sides, there was nothing like this, as this light was a whole. It was not blinding, on the contrary, it was soft, calming, securing, and warm. I can't compare it to anything: I had no pain, I felt good, fit, smiling. There was soft, angelic music. I sensed an immense love, I was enveloped by this place, and I felt that I was forgiven. I didn't see who was sending me all this love and who forgave me but I felt something Very High and protecting.
While advancing I started to hear voices in the distance. I didn't understand what they were saying, but the voices were familiar. I recognized my grandfather, my stepfather who with my mother raised me from the age of six years until I left the house, and my father’s voice.
In the distance, I saw something like dark shades in a human form. Imagine being in a fog, going forward, and then seeing the shady silhouette of a human form in the distance. Over there it was the same, except that there was no fog.
I was very happy, and that's what I was, I started to advance faster. I didn't notice if I was walking or floating because I was so happy with the idea of seeing those that I missed. Suddenly from behind, I hear a voice saying, 'Come back, you still have to help lots of people.' This made me stop on the spot and I started to look for who could have said that. Then I thought about the nurse and what I told him earlier. They must be trying to wake me up and there I understood what happened to me, but what to do? Then a voice imposed on me, nobody was in front of me, it just imposed like this, to ask me what I wanted to do, ‘to continue or come back’.
I noticed that my relatives in the distance had stopped talking together, maybe they wondered what happened or maybe they knew already; when they talked together, they maybe wondered what I was doing here, and who between them would tell me. Then I crouched to think for a moment, should I continue my way and join my loved ones or come back to join my living relatives. I know, some will think that I'm stupid, everybody would come back, but I missed my loved ones very much, I wanted to see them again, but I also didn't want to let down my living relatives. I stood up and took the decision that my heart dictated. I came back, but before leaving, I lifted my hand in the direction of my grandfather, my stepfather and my father to tell them ‘bye for now’. I had no time to get near them, but at least I know that they are there. As I was retracing my steps, I suddenly felt sucked in. It was then that I noticed this famous tunnel, and then I re-entered into my body and awoke. The anesthesiologist and the nurse were quite happy that I finally awakened.
In the following days I felt a little bit lost and felt that something in me had changed. Gradually I became aware about what I had experienced. I remembered that, at the moment when I was died, I perceived somebody in the distance who was crouching on the spot where I had been the moment before. I have done a lot of thinking about who this could have been, but the answer was there, close by. This crouching person was my former me, like a symbol, saying, ‘well you are going back from where you came, but you will be different, the former me will be kept here’.
Since then, years have gone by and this symbol made perfect sense all this time. I could notice that effectively I'm much more patient, calm, listening to people of all ages, as before. I'm able to get solutions to problems that I could not before. I also got empathy that I didn't have before. One has to know that before those changes I was a most unpleasant person, very irascible, somebody quite different, opposed to what I am now. In a certain way, the ‘me’ of before has been staying there: crouching.
It took 3 months before I could start speaking about this. At first with my mother and my sister, as I wanted to reassure them at the same time, saying that our family that has passed are all over there and that they are fine, that we need not worry about them. It relieved me to tell my experience, as they believed me, I feared to the contrary. Today, three and a half years after, things have changed starting with my job. I was a metalworker with great experience, but I cannot exercise this trade anymore due to my health problems. But I also couldn't see myself anymore doing it, there was no passion anymore and so I reconverted gradually in becoming monitor/educator, a helping job closer to what I am now. I also lost quite a few friends, being scared of my changes. I didn't quite understand but I found other ones afterwards, who did not know me before. Well it’s like that, it’s life.
Date NDE Occurred: 15/03/2011
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Illness. Surgery-related. Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening. Après l'opération je me suis brièvement réveillé pour me rendormir aussitôt et ce pendant 3 heures
After surgery I woke up shortly and fell asleep immediately for about 3 hours.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the moment when I heard this voice from behind me.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
In real time the experience lasted approximately 3 hours, but I had the impression that it took only 10 minutes.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was the same
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was the same
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Not in the beginning but at the end, while returning
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My grandfather who left us in 2007, my father when I was 10, and my stepfather who married my mother when I was 6 years old, he left us in 2008.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain With the exception of the light place, no.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Serene and confident
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I had lost faith when I lost my relatives, but after my return I got it back.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain J'ai bien ressentit une présence très haut et puissant mais je ne l'ai pas vu.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Uncertain Le faites de voir mes proches me fait dire que la vie persiste après la vie terrestre
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. Large changes in my life.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I lost friends who had been scared by my changes and I found others that didn't know me before. Concerning family, nothing changed. They are even delighted by my changes.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Especially the place what we call light is difficult to describe.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I had already before had certain psychic faculties, nothing’s changed since.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Well, there's the moment when I saw my relatives in the distance, which reassured me. Then when I was crouching, it was strange that I thought about the people that I had been helping, then about other people that I was in the process of helping; and then even stranger I also was thinking about people that I didn't know or at least not yet.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Three months went by, before I got enough courage to tell it and everything went well. They had been astonished, but they understood what I told them. In some way they are more trusting, as they now know that there really is something coming afterwards, and that our loved ones being already there, are fine. They are less sad knowing this, and can advance better in their life.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had a vague knowledge as I was on a forum, dealing with all kinds of subjects concerning the paranormal. I had been in this part of the forum without lingering, it's only after I, myself, had a NDE that I really became interested, furthermore after having told it in my surroundings, it's in that part of the forum that I put down my experience for the first time in writing.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? The fact that I could see my relatives makes me say that life persists after the earthly life. I definitely could feel a very High and powerful presence, but I didn't see it.