I remember I woke up and my mom was in the room because she spoke to me. I remember what happened was so vivid that I wanted to tell her before I forgot anything because it was the most wonderful experience I had ever had.
I told her I must have been dreaming because I said I remember that I was floating like - because it seemed as if I was walking but yet not. I said there was this kind of bridge or walkway and I started towards it because I was drawn towards it. As I got towards the middle, I could see this beautiful park like setting and there were people standing around and talking and it was a very bright yet not in a blinding sunlight type way. The closer I got to this park type area the more wonderful I felt. I felt so over-whelmed with love and kindness and like I was going into the most loving home-like setting. It was such a comforting, embracing type of feeling you didn't ever want to leave it. I thought I couldn't get there on the other side fast enough. Just as I was about to reach the grass two nuns in their black and white habits approached me, they never actually touched me, but they told me I had to go back. I said, 'No, I don't want to.' They said I had to; they weren't ready for me yet. I again said no, and they said, 'You must go back for a little while; we are just not ready yet.' When I finished telling my mom this, she quietly sat down in the chair beside the bed, and she told me how the doctor had come out of the operating room to tell her that I was clinically dead, but that they were still working on me. She said he stayed with her because he didn't think they would be able to bring me around. I was so shocked to know that I had died, and yet that explained what had happened because I had never felt so totally encased in such a warm feeling of love and belonging in my entire life. The only person that ever really loved me in my family died when I was five. So, you can imagine why I did not want to lose such a feeling of being loved as I had experienced.
About that time, I realized I was blind. I couldn't see anything for three days. I was told it was something to do with what had caused me to die or what medicine they had used to bring me around. Anyway, I was blind for three days; I had all kinds of medicine hung up for my IVs. People came to the hospital to visit me and came in my room and left because they didn't think it was me, I was so swollen and they couldn't even tell it was me until I spoke. I know that since that happened I have not been afraid of death. I look forward to dying. I want to experience that again. It was the best feeling ever. I have tried to use my experience to help others who speak of being afraid to die. I wonder often what time frame does a little while mean on that side of life compared to this. I have still been here now for twenty-seven years and I am still waiting for my time.
Date NDE Occurred: 1983
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Allergic reaction 'Hysterectomy surgery, Dr. came out and told Mom that I was clinically dead and they were still working on me, but I was not responding .' Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
Asthma or allergies caused problems with anesthesia during surgery to have a hysterectomy.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Probably when I was determined to get to the grass and the two nuns walked toward me to thwart my advance.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I did not have a sense of time at all.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I just remember seeing everything in front of me. The colors of the field and trees and flowers were awesome.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I don't recall that. It seems at my first awareness that it was like I left a building or walked out of a door, I knew that I left somewhere and was now in a new place, but I didn't really know where I was, but just that it was so much better, I didn't want to leave.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw many people. I was met by the two nuns who wouldn't let me continue. I did not recognize anyone because I wasn't allowed to reach them.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Only as in the horizon.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The beautiful park, also I knew that I was in a different place, I just didn't know where.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was just so happy and warm and loved and overwhelmed with it all, I think that is why I was so determined to stay and not go back, I had never felt like that before and I didn't want to lose it ever.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I have some enhanced type of ESP with people that I am close to only.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal 'Religious, not church affiliated.'
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I was always religious, I just try to study the Bible and religion as much as possible.
What is your religion now? Liberal 'Religious, not church affiliated.'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I was always religious, I just try to study the Bible and religion as much as possible.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain When they said they weren't ready for me, I was sad because I knew I would have to go back and I felt it was because there was something I had to do. Something I had not completed or had not experienced to be able to stay here yet.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I think more about people and how they feel. I try to always be there for anyone that might need me in anyway.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Just the enhanced ESP with people that I am close to only.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The feelings that I felt when I was over there in that place. The sadness when I was told I would have to come back. The fact that now I am not afraid of dying or death, it will be a welcomed experience to me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Immediately, shared it with my mom. She was in shock. I was so affected by it that I blurted it out as soon as my mom spoke to me when I came to. Even before I realized I was blind and couldn't see.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I still remember the feelings today. Even all these years later. There is no way you could ever hope to feel like that here.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Same as question above.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No There is no way you could ever do that here on this earth as it is now.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I don't advocate a near death experience for anyone obviously for health reasons, but anyone that has ever experienced this would know how wonderful it was.