The initial experience began when I had been released from the hospital after being hit by a car. I was staying at my parent’s home so they could care for me. We had company that day and I had a three-sided walker I was using. I felt nauseated and got up to go to the restroom to vomit, but as I stood up, I passed out. This is when I entered a dark area, not so much like a tunnel, it really didn't feel “closed in” but more like a big, dark space. My husband’s father whom I had never met in waking life, but who had died three months after I began dating his son met me here. I attended his funeral but never saw or spoke with him. However, he met me on the other side and held my hand. I felt other presences around me but could not distinguish them.
At the end of the darkness - like looking outward into the distance - there was what seemed to be a mountain and behind that mountain was the most outstandingly beautiful light (words of our present knowledge cannot describe or do justice to the light’s beauty). I wanted to go to the light very badly.
I don't remember having a discussion with anyone but I could hear my family trying to get an ambulance to the apartment. I could also hear my father and husband arguing and my mother panicking and changing her clothes to ride with me in the ambulance to the hospital. I felt no desire or need to return to them, even though they were in a panic and scared for me. I just knew that all was going to be okay and that they too would be okay. There was a great sense of peace and relief – as if all worries or responsibilities did not exist or were meaningless. I knew I was with my God and I did not want to return to my earthly body and family. I looked back at the light once again and the next moment I was returned to my body. I was tingling all over – similar to how if you lay on your arm too long and the blood is cut off and then you straighten it out and it begins to tingle as the blood flows back into it.
The ambulance arrived and took me to the hospital and surgery was performed for a tubular pregnancy. Having only one pint of blood left in my body by the time I reached the hospital, I had almost bled to death, internally. I was very angry with my God after this experience, because I did not understand why I had to come back. Now I am wiser, and know there were and still are things yet for me to do and when I have finished, I will return to the love of my higher power, my God.
Date NDE Occurred: August 1973
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes AccidentChildbirth Possibly pregnant, I was not sure yet. Walked across a cross walk, person ran light and hit me. Taken to hospital. Life threatening event, but not clinical death Hit by a car while walking across a cross walk, back injury and uncomfirmed complication pregnancy (barely 4-6 weeks. Pregnancy yet confirmed. Pregnancy was not confirmed during 1 mo. hospital stay several test ran always showed neg. - internal bleeding oI almost bled to death internally due to what turned out to be a tubal pregnancy. This may or may not have had anything to do with the impact of the car hitting me as I walked over a cross walk. No one knows. Either way, I had only one pint of blood in my body when I was rushed back to the hospital for surgery after having been released for about one week while the bleeding continued.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I was not on the earth realm as we feel it or know it. I was in a dark void without any ground to stand on, as there was no need for it. My family felt to me like I was hearing them through a TV or radio, at a distance. I also felt as though I was just through an entrance of some kind, just greeted by my husband’s father who took my hand.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was “unconscious” through the whole experience.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time did not exist. There was a sense of great unimportance regarding time.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I do not remember any sounds or noises.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes See above narrative.
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I saw a light that if viewed by the human eye would probably blind a normal human. Its beauty, gracefulness and brilliance was beyond words of our human comprehension. We cannot even describe, once returned to our bodies, the illumination or feelings that we are consumed by in seeing or being in this light. It is a light that can only be viewed in spirit, and not with the human naked eye, because it could not be understood.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Pure love, peace, and all-knowingness. I knew things would be good and okay, no pain, no worry. I also had no concern to be with my earthly family as I knew they would be okay also. No attachment to them at all or need to be with them. I did not want to return, a feeling like one might have if floating on a cloud with a gentle breeze blowing or lying in the powerful hands of love with complete contentedness and no desire for more.
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe That all would be okay, that there was nothing worry about. All and everything would be as it should be.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I do not remember any discussion. I do remember a great hesitation on my part to return to my body. I truly did not want to return but I'm not sure for what reason I was sent back, so I believe there was some discussion, although I don't remember it.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What is your religion now? Liberal Buddhist - Christian... belief in a higher power and a purpose larger than ourselves or oneself
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes It definitely put me on my spiritual path of self-growth. Sometimes it has been very, very difficult and at other times, very rewarding – but always spiritual.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes We, in this realm of existence, do not have the capacity to have complete comprehension of the true existence or experience that awaits us. We only gain the capacity after this life experience has terminated. Our vocabulary and spiritual abilities are at, for a lack of putting it any other way, “kindergarten” level in understanding. We, in human form, can in no way comprehend, feel, understand, see, and emerge ourselves in what exists for us in such an uncomplicated, purifying way of complete emergence of oneself as being one in the light of the purest, most overwhelming expression of love.
At the time of my experience, this was not talked of by most and was considered the work of the devil, so to speak. I spoke to no one for several years. I was mad at God for not letting me stay. I knew where I was during my experience and did not want to leave. However, today I have a better understanding of my gift of experience and am grateful of the continued life I am living.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes As a massage therapist, some say I have the ability to heal. There have been some instances that clue me into this, but I give all credit to my higher power. I see myself as the instrument by which His power gives, to that individual, their needs, whatever those needs may be. Several older Hispanic people have called me kunandera (healer). I leave this to my higher power to make it so.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best part of the immediate experience was the feeling of total peace and tranquility and seeing the love light of God. The worst? Having to return without fully understanding, at that time, why.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Most often they are awed when I share what I felt. I believe that for some, it did influence their immediate belief systems and they began to broaden their perspectives of what God is really about.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? One thing I would like to say: as humans, we celebrate the birth of a newborn child. We throw parties and invite family and friends to witness the entrance of the newborn child, this obviously beautiful gift that has been loaned to us, to raise (to the best of our ability), in the ways of love. Why do we have such a hard time discussing with a loved one, a friend or even a stranger, at the moment of their death what they feel? Are they scared? Why do we run from this responsibility of helping others to transcend or to be born into still another world, a better world of love, peace, joy…spiritual freedom? I feel it is wrong for us to turn our backs on those dying and deny them if they so choose to talk of their feelings no-matter what those feelings might me. It’s not for us to run or change the subject or talk about the weather or whatever. These people deserve to have someone to share their feelings with on their deathbed, or if you will, their bed of rebirth. As a newborn baby truly does not know it is being born into this life realm, it must be very frightening for them during the birth after living in a world of their mother’s stomach of nine months and now they must leave. How scary this must be for them - and we rejoice.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I have none at this moment, but I wish you all the best in your continued efforts to seek out and find those who have had these experiences and may need to share. God bless you all.