It was the morning after my 31st birthday. I woke up and went downstairs to have some breakfast and watch the news. After I ate, I began to feel sick, like nauseous. I was trying to decide whether I should call into work or not. In a short period of time, I felt worse, so I called in sick. By then I was feeling very tired and like I would need to throw up. I went to the bathroom but was quickly becoming even more tired. I decided that even though I might be sick, I would go to my room to lie down first. By the time I climbed the stairs, I had no energy left. I laid down on the bed and felt like I was going to pass out. My son was about age two at the time and he would normally wake up in an hour. I thought of calling my husband to ask him to come home and help me. I was soon struggling to maintain consciousness so I tried to call 911 with the phone at my bedside table. I couldn't do it. I passed out, struggled, came to, worried about my son, and then passed out again. I figured it was useless to fight it if I was dying. I looked over at the clock and it was about 20 after eight in the morning.
I floated quickly out of my body to the top of the room. I had expectations of seeing a tunnel of light, but none appeared. I tried to look down at my body but only saw swirling dark clouds below me, nothing else. After a few moments when nothing else occurred, I thought, cool, this must be an out of body experience. I wanted to explore and prove that this was real. I thought of leaving myself a note but I didn't have a body to write with. Then I thought that I would go next door where my neighbor was probably sleeping and try to wake him up. I asked him later if he experienced anything.
I floated towards the door and was about to exit the bedroom when a thought struck me, 'Yeah, let's manipulate him'. But this was not my thought! I don't think that way. When I disowned that thought, it materialized outside myself. I thought, a demon! I heard laughing and I was mad. I demanded to see the demon and three ghostly black skulls appeared facing me. I had so much anger; I wanted to kill them. I fell into a rage and lunged forward to try to get hold of them, I could taste their blood, I was so mad. As I lunged, I propelled myself forward with a burst of speed. Instead of being free floating as I thought I was I discovered that I was tethered to some point below and as I lunged, I moved in a circle chasing the demons like a mad dog on a leash. This made them laugh even more and I was angered more. Finally, I began to pull myself together and I realized that because I didn't have a body and they didn't either that my rage was useless as far as trying to kill them. I tried to figure out what to do to go back to my body but the demons tried to distract me with more laughing. It was all I could do to control myself. They then remarked how powerful I was. After all, they had to obey when I ordered them to show themselves. I figured this was a lie but I also felt flattered. They said prove it to yourself, give us another command. More lies, I figured.
They then told me that in this state of consciousness that I had telekinetic powers and that I should try moving the television off the dresser then I would have proof of my experience and power. I was tempted but I thought this was wrong. I couldn't help it, I concentrated on moving a small piece of paper on the dresser and it flew up in the air. I instantly felt as though I committed a sin and felt ashamed and I could not look to see where the little paper went. The room was too messy to be able to find it if I didn't watch it. The demons laughed and I began to feel like I was in trouble.
It's hard to describe the insight that was beginning to form in my mind and the demons kept trying to distract me from thinking. I felt that if I actually defeated the demons I would return to my body so full of myself, I would somehow be insane and a danger to my family. I didn't understand how but felt instinctively that it was true so I decided I would not return to my body. Then I figured that I would just die. Because the demons were continually laughing and trying to tempt me and distract me, I couldn't think very clearly about things and so somehow I did immediately consider my soul to be in danger.
Before anything else could happen, I experienced the Holy Spirit rush me away somewhere that was just empty. It was the most wonderful feeling. There was so much love and knowledge of the entire universe permeating my body from within and without like a warm embrace. It had a stern message for me concerning the 'chain of command'. There was God, all of the angels, good and bad but somehow equal and somehow all loved by God. Then there was Jesus and I had a vision of His throne and his knees and somehow we were placed somewhere below his feet. I accepted all this knowledge happily without question. Then I was told that by the power of Jesus I could leave the demons and return to my body. Suddenly, I was facing the demons again and in my mind, I repeated the information I was just given. Then I had to say it to the demons, 'by the power and authority of Jesus let me return to my body'. The demons gave me a look of total surprise and then I was back in my body.
Date NDE Occurred: December 11, 1902
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Internal conflict of a very intense struggle. I did not know it at the time but later in my life I was diagnosed with bipoler disorder Internal conflict, I consiered myself an athiest but was unhappy and felt a strong need for something more, thought I needed to believe in something. I chose not to return to my body because I felt I would return either possessed or so mentally ill that I would be a danger to my family, so to protect them, I decided not to return.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was more alert than usual in a way. I was aware that I could think rationally and at times, I felt in such a rage that I could not think rationally. I also seemed to be more in touch with my instincts as well, when I could think rationally. I seemed to sense or be having insight or knowing that I was in serious jeopardy but I was distracted emotionally and distracted by my motives and desires. It was so different from a dream because everything I did and every move I made somehow seemed slowed down and so deliberate. I was aware of every inch I traveled and there was conflict from within me and from the demons.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It seemed that the experience lasted 20-30 minutes but by the clock only 3-5 minutes had passed.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Even though as an adult I considered myself an atheist, I was raised in the Catholic Church and my parents made me attend 12 years of Sunday School. I did not experience heaven or hell but was in my room near the ceiling when I encountered the demons. Then the Holy Spirit took me away to an empty place, but the place made no difference because it was His presence that made location of no matter. It's very strange how God loves all his angels whether they are on his side or not. I'm not sure I know or could recognize demons from angels if they didn't want me to know which were which.
Did you see an unearthly light? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt rage, fear, shame and love.
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I knew I could not deny the existence of God the Father Son and Holy Spirit.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I intended to provide myself some evidence but when I moved the small piece of paper, I felt so ashamed that I had given in to temptation that I could not watch to see where it landed.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future My body could not take in what I witnessed. I wondered how I would tell my experience to my husband at dinnertime, but dinner came and went and I didn't tell him anything. It was as if I forgot for several months and then remembered later. Then when the memory reappeared I experienced a tremendous fear of God. Then I experienced visions that I could not understand
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I chose not to return. I was sure of my decision.
It was the will of the Holy Spirit that I return.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I had insights pass through my mind but was not entirely able to understand them. When I experienced the Holy Spirit, there was so much knowledge of the universe present but I was not able to take it all in or retain it.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I saw visions of symbols and maybe memories like reliving my past but I could not understand the meaning of these things but I thought that God must have some purpose for me. Instead I later found out that I was bipolar and some of the visions could be hallucinations caused by the illness but the OBE was real because of the profound change of faith it gave me.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best part was experiencing the Holy Spirit. The worst part was when I was just beginning to realize that my soul could be in jeopardy.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Some thought it was cool. Pastors at church didn't say much but I felt their disapproval.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No