I was at an all-time low in my life in all areas: Broke from gambling addiction, wife left four months pregnant with my son, a lot of financial problems, bad family relations all around. My wife came this day in June 1996 while I was at work, took my car, cleaned out the apartment, and was back at her parent's house by the time I got off work. I had no desire to live anymore. I took every household drug or chemical I could get my hands on, said a prayer, and went to sleep.
I awoke from sleep with my body convulsing; it was cold, and numb. I couldn't feel my extremities. I said to myself, 'Here it goes, I'm dying.' I then saw in my mind's eye a scene of space with stars and a galaxy rotating clockwise. I started approaching the center of the galaxy by flying with my hands in front of me, the stars started to progressively fly past me faster and faster like out of Star Trek. I was flying straight and the galaxy was rotating, then suddenly my relativity changed or something. I couldn't tell if I was rotating clockwise or if it was the galaxy that was rotating. As I got closer to the center, the stars started flying by really fast, so that it looked like almost a constant light. At this point, my consciousness moved back to my body and I was looking at myself from the right side of my body, as if I was lying there next to myself. I then started to feel my spirit start to raise out of my body. I started floating. As this happened, I all of a sudden got scared, I didn't want to die. At that moment, I saw future events that I was going to miss pass quickly before my eyes. I felt a sense of regret, and fear. I cried to God and asked if he would let me live.
At that moment, I felt my spirit sink back into my body and attach just above my navel. I was amazed that my spirit attached at that part of my body. I then had this gut feeling that I wasn't going to die and this peace overcame me. My mind's eye then went back to the view of the galaxy but only in reverse. The galaxy was rotating counterclockwise and the stars were distant. I woke up many hours later and threw up the chemicals in my body (Blue). I had lost vision in my right eye, my head had a deafening alarm going off in it, and I had no balance. A friend found called an ambulance. I went to the hospital, had my stomach pumped, regained my vision, was in intensive care for a day, and was forced to go to a psychiatric ward for three days.
Date NDE Occurred: June 21, 1996
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I overdosed on medication.
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I had a 'vision', and then temporarily cut back to my body. It was as if my consciousness was lying beside my body, not over it. I could feel and see my spirit start to lift from my body. It was levitating from the navel area. My 'spirit' was ethereal and my body was cold, numbed, and had quit convulsing.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Semi-conscious (drugged) state, but very aware of the feelings in my body, and my thoughts.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
At first, space was rotating, and then I couldn't tell if I was rotating in a spiral helix pattern. First it was rotating clockwise, then counterclockwise.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No, not until I woke up later with a hangover. Everything was silent.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Lots of stars, and a brighter star or planet in the center of the galaxy. No tunnel of light, just stars.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The space I was in.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was amazed at how little I knew about spirits, even though my religion taught me a lot about them. I wasn't ready for the experience and made a conscious effort at the time to find out about the unknown mysteries I had experienced. I felt fear at one point, followed by peace when I knew I wasn't going to die. Now I am grateful for the spiritual knowledge.
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No I was amazed and clueless about what was happening.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I remember being shown the events and that I wanted to experience them, but when I awoke I couldn't remember what they were. So, I don't know if they've happened or not.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I got scared and asked to live. I remember feeling amazed and grateful that I had some free agency on this decision.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I no longer feared death and I no longer felt the necessity to waste my time with things and people that were draining my energy. I felt a new power of life because I feared nothing. I have continued to search for information to explain my experience better and to become more spiritual (not necessarily religious). I learned that my religion wasn't as powerful as living a spiritual experience such as this NDE.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes In a small way. I've had dreams or visions about future events in my life that happened shortly afterwards. I guess I've been more spiritually aware.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The spiritual knowledge I gained about the afterlife, the gratefulness for free agency, the love of life (even though it is hard), and the realization of how little I know were good things. The worst part was that I had to wake up and face the hard realities of my life that I didn't want to face
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes No major response that I know of. Most were just critical of my suicide attempt.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No It was a unique experience.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I would like to be able to experience that feeling and awareness of myself at all times. Life is kind of a grind compared that feeling, but the body is great to have and a big blessing I felt.