We left for vacation at in Spain. The group included my father, mother, brother, sister and a friend of our parents with his little boy. I've was 10 years old at the time. It was in the month of August.
From the first week of vacation I had very bad pain in the belly. My parents called a doctor who told them that it must be a food intoxication. He prescribed some medicines.
Nevertheless my condition worsened and a few days later, my parents got another doctor. He who diagnosed an appendicitis. Urgently, I needed to get into a hospital for surgery. He suspected that my condition had turned into peritonitis. There was no ambulance available, so my father and his friend took the car and quickly drove me to the hospital.
One hour later, in a condition of quasi-unconsciousness, we arrived at the emergency room. We still had more waiting to do. Finally, a long time after, I was taken into a surgery room.
I woke up in a room in the intensive care unit, with a young 14 year-old girl nearby who later died during my hospitalization. I was diagnosed with acute peritonitis.
Years later, my mother told me that the doctors had been telling them that my condition was very severe and that there was a one-in-two chance that I would die. She and my daddy remained at my side, alternately, day and night. They were sleeping on the tiled floor at the side of my bed, so that I wasn't alone. Most probably because they sensed that I would be dying.
What nobody knew was that I died, at least for a while. I never told them about my experience, because I was a very introverted little girl, and also because for a long time I believed that it was a dream or a kind of delirium, due to my condition and the injections that were constantly performed on me.
Here is my experience dating back a long time:
Suddenly, I saw myself very clearly stretched out on my hospital bed with the sheets on me. My eyes were closed. I saw myself very distinctly. I was outside of my body in the right corner of the ceiling of the room. My bed was at the side of the window. I didn't feel anything and I was indifferent about my body. I saw myself, that's all.
After this, I found myself in blackness, in a kind of tunnel without limits. And I advanced toward the tunnel while floating, I felt good, even very good. I was completely alone and all at once in the distance I saw a small white glow. As I advanced, the light became bigger. It was an opaque light, like cotton. Then I felt an immense happiness, a big joy and peace. While I intensely experienced this wonderful plenitude and as I was still pulled forward towards this light, a 'voice,' thought, or a spirit maybe my own, I don't know, said to me, ' It's not the moment.' But I continued advancing and the 'voice' repeated that, 'It is not the moment. You still have things to do and to live down there.' It then asked me what people I would like to see, as those people would need me and my help. I answered, 'I want to see my daddy and my mom.' I turned back but was still pulled forward. I felt a slowing, like a hesitation and suddenly I found myself back in my body.
This was very unpleasant, cold, painful and the smallest noise in the room was infernal. I was very sensitive about it.
During the following days, I often looked up toward the right angle of my room. I remember perfectly that this was amusing me to know that I had been up there and that I could see myself. I was waiting for the moment when I would be able to repeat this experience, but it never happened again.
This experience was in no way traumatic, quite the contrary. I find that it is a pity that I cannot experience it from time to time.
At the time, my father was unfaithful to my mother and it was a disaster for our family.
About a decade later during a conversation with my father, he said to me that it was because of me that he didn't leave the house. I was very surprised. He was amazed that I didn't remember having said to him, when I was close to twelve, 'Daddy, for sure you wouldn't abandon us, would you?' He admitted that this gave him like an effect of a clash in his head. He then answered me, that he never would leave us.
According to my mother, I was always his darling, favorite little girl. Yet for a long time I was angry at him and hardly talked to him for years. Fortunately, I finished being angry and forgave him for everything.
I took more than 30 years before I talked about it, not of the OBE, but the tunnel experience. It was while talking about quantum science and energies with a scientific work colleague, that I wondered if this experience had an explanation. Then I told her about it and she looked at me saying that I was very lucky experiencing that. She is very Cartesian, but she thinks that there really are things happening at the energetic level, and that one day maybe science could explain it. Now, for the past few years, she is working on this matter.
I told this story to this colleague and another colleague (I don't know why) and with my husband. And now I share it with you. That's all.
I want to finish saying that I also have no fear of death, similar to all those persons having also experienced this experience. It's a beautiful gift, isn't it? It would be good to share it with everybody. I thank you for taking the time to read it.
Date NDE Occurred: 1977
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Surgery-related. Other: d'après les médecins, j'étais entre la vie et la mort. Quand c'est arrivé, j'étais seule dans la cha
According to the doctors, I was between life and death. When it happened, I was alone in the room.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal I wasn't in the same dimension of time and space. It's difficult to explain it.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the moment when I was up and when I looked at my body.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
No notion of time, except that I felt that I was advancing, and at the end I slowed down.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I saw well, I think that I was sleeping immediately before this.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't hear any specific noise and before this, I think that I was sleeping.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes A black tunnel at the beginning, without limits and with a white light at the end. I had an impression of swimming in cotton or something soft, with no sensation of warm or cold.
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A very, very white and appealing light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place The tunnel without landmarks.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt plenitude, an immense happiness, even gaiety. I felt safe.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Atheist
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I was young, but still, I was astonished to see my body from the upper side of my room.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify I heard a kind of voice. But as I said before, maybe it was a thought. I wouldn't be able to say where it came from.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I became aware that finally there's a long time that I took the way of the relation of help. Six years ago, I followed a training course in Sophrology (relaxation therapy) and I'm actually completing it after one year, with a Qi Gong training in Shanghai, where I'm living. I think it necessary to harmonize all your energies and would like one day being able to help others to do the same.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists No
Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes There's no need to fear death. It's a relief.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt much love for my parents.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I was too young. I was too young.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I was a child and I didn't talk about it for many years.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I have memories of those vacations, of the hospital, personnel of the hospital, of certain patients coming to visit me, of my return to France in an ambulance, of many more things, too.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I waited 37 years before talking about it. Only two colleagues and my husband know about it. They were not influenced. They listened with respect and attention, and only one of my colleagues showed curiosity and interest. She was the scientific one.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real This had been pleasant and amusing for me. The OBE seemed very real to me and I would love to re-experience it again.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real This must have been real, otherwise how could I remember this so well, so many years after? I really was in a bad physical condition.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes One night I dreamed I was dead, abandoned in a dark wasteland, and in the distance, I saw a very white city, of a brilliant whiteness. It was like a very far away futuristic city. I was scared because I was alone. Then a faceless silhouette dressed in a black cape with hood (like a ghost or the reaper) appeared in front of me. It advanced towards me; holding in its hand it held a very red rose. Its presence reassured me, as it was there because it was the only one loving me. I was attracted towards the white city, but was told, maybe from the silhouette, that this was the future. I needed to go back to earth to live furthermore, and that I still needed to make other life experiences. I needed to live in order to watch the city evolving and transforming. If I weren't living, I would be missing all those changes and evolutions. Then I woke up sweating, taking in air with a strong breath. I think that I must have had a sleep apnea. I must have been 12 years old, I don't know exactly, anymore.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No, thank you.