After receiving the injection, within a few seconds two things happened. The first was that my sight was completely obliterated and instead, I was rushing down - at very high speed - what can only be described as a tunnel of red blood cells. Red corpuscles. I was moving very fast although I had no sensation of propulsion. Also I heard a very loud and distinct buzzing in my ears - it was like a huge wasp or laser beam buzzing from ear to ear. It was never in both ears at the same time. Shortly after that, I was in fact aware that my body was dying. I was in neural shutdown and my body was fighting to stay alive. My heart beat went up to over 200 bpm and I was paralyzed from the hips down.
The doctor's face was torn in half with one eye on the ceiling and one eye on the wall. I was conscious of the fact that this was death and that awareness, not the actual act of dying, scared me. However, amidst the confusion and chaos, there was very serene part of me. It was surveying the event, not quite out of body but definitely as a separate source of consciousness. It was doing so almost in a vacuum where there was no sound, no chaos, and no fear - just observance. Like watching a storm on TV with the sound turned down. This part of me was very calm.
However, the other part of me was still in the midst of the fury and very strong was a sense of fire: not burning, searing, hurtful fire, but the fire of life. The fire of what I describe as my spirit. It was truly alive, as if almost literally roaring into life, although my body was doing the opposite. Also, above me was a strange window. It was made of brittle frosted glass I couldn't see what was on the other side, but it was bright and white, and I knew that all I had to do was agree, and I would be lifted up and would smash through the glass to the other side. I knew that in doing so I could not come back. But very strongly and very clearly I knew that it was my choice. I could stay or I could go. There was no pressure, no lobbying. It was simply what I wanted to do. The part of me that was calmly observing things saw my mother in the corner of the room (she had driven me to the doctor due to an infection in my leg) and I knew that leaving her would break her for good.
It was then, very calmly, that I decided to stay. There were no words spoken with anyone, just a decision that was received and accepted by whatever was in overall control. With that, I yelled out, 'God, please save me!' and instantaneously the event ceased. I came to with the nurse standing above me with a huge needle ready to inject my heart, which was just about to stop. End of experience.
Date NDE Occurred: 1989
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Allergic reaction Life threatening event, but not clinical death. Anaphylactic shock - allergic reaction to needle in doctor's office.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Probably the part where I was calmly surveying the event. I seemed to be able to take in the entirety of the event and assess all aspects.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time seemed to stop - the whole event took nine minutes but it felt literally like less than thirty seconds. There was no time in the vacuum.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? There was distortion of certain things (the doctor's face) but the most striking was the appearance of the window above me. It was a very distinct louvered window with frosted glass - not common these days and not what I had had an exposure to.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Heard strange buzzing and the went deaf.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was there but it was behind a window - I had to decide to go to it. I was like a balloon tethered to the ground - all I had to do was say the word and I would have been released upwards to the window, and thus the light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt a mix - fear but also calmness and also a certain detachment - as an observer.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I suppose I knew and know that the soul/spirit lives on. I had in some ways never felt more alive. It was literally like the fire of God - like a rocket ship taking off in a huge fireball. It was full of power.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have shared it many times with people. Right after the event I had a bad period of anxiety - was anxious for a period of several weeks. This subsided and life returned to normal. I was also very conservative in my Christian views and active in the church, views, which have evolved/changed since then. I do though carry a fear of death, which I guess is disappointing and strange. More though as a result of some fundamentalist teachings from many years ago, rather than the experience itself.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It was very real and it had an impact on me.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I suppose I wonder why it happened and in a sense, I wish it had progressed a bit more and I had seen angels etc., so that I had no fears at all, as I still have some.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? At no time was there any threat of not going on (i.e. being 'lost'). The event, whilst traumatic, was actually gentle and the outcome very much in my hands. I definitely felt that the choice to stay or go was mine and would be respected.