Experience Description

At first I heard what seemed to be a train going through my head - a brief darkness and I climbed up Golden stairs. Once I reached the top, I began floating on pink iridescent clouds. I liked that park because my head didn't feel as if it was going to explode anymore. I didn't see any of my relatives but I did see ones from the elderly couple - her sister and his brother, but they told me I couldn't stay with them that I had to go. That's when a Guide took me. I wanted to stay with them but I wasn't allowed. We ended up in what I called a library, but there were no walls, floors. But in my mind, I ran to the wall and began reading. Then the Guide flew me (about a foot off the ground) and I saw The Garden. Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus were there waving at me. Next, we flew over a river where tulips were alive at the bottom of the water. I could hear angels singing and the tulips sang along. Next, I saw a beautiful woman on the side standing. I wanted to go talk with her but was not allowed. The Guide then took me to a room (no walls etc.). There were around eleven people walking around in a circle pacing as if they were following the first guy. He came up to what seemed to be a glass wall and said, 'Help me.' So I tried to go there but the Guide said I was not allowed only he can save himself.

Then we returned to the library. I heard Jesus speaking in the room to the side. I quickly ran to him but could not go through. I was very angry not to be allowed to be with Jesus. As I stood there, someone grabbed my wrist and when I turned my head, I saw a huge figure standing as if made up of golden energy. They don't talk, none of them did, but you can hear them in your head, you know what they are saying. I then knew the figure to be God. He was very loving yet very stern.

I told him I was very angry that I couldn't go with Jesus. God said if you go through there, you cannot return. Then he asked me do you want to go there? I said yes. He then said but you cannot return. I said I don't want to stay here I just want to see Jesus. But God told me I must return to Earth. He said I will tell you two things then you decide if you want to stay. All of a sudden, I woke up in the elderly couple's kitchen. My memory was gone I didn't know anyone.

The second NDE I was in a car wreck and had a head injury I passed out and plopped in the room with seven people in a circle with one of the seven as the guide. He looked at me and said what are you doing here go back it's not your time.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: July or Aug of 1983 and Feb of 1986

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident. Direct head injury and heat stroke Other I had a heat stroke as i was tending to an elderly couples lawn. The daughter checked my pulse after I passed out. The other time I was in a car wreck. Well I guess so because I did have a heat stroke.

How do you consider the content of your experience?

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the time it was happening I was very alert I knew I wasn't dreaming. That was only when I returned and from the memory loss did I think it was a dream.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did your vision differ in any way from normal? Brighter colors and in there the tulips were green and blue.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Well I don't think I did but if I did it only was for a second because I remember having the train go through my head and a terrible headache then poof I was walking up stairs.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I met the elderly couple's sister and brother and God - and when I told you about the beautiful woman standing on the side - I found out through dreams it was my sister who died like four years ago, so I saw her before she died. They didn't want me to know her there.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes That was the first thing I saw, it was like a glowing light pink and gold very soft that illuminated everything around it.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I loved the river it made my heart sing it was beautiful. and the lirary ( I called it that)where the knowledge is, It was kind dark like an entry way , but to me it was the best place I loved all the knowledge i wanted to drink it up

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Happy, sad, anger, confused and sometimes peaceful.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Somewhat. I'm more in tune and believe more in angels and prayer.

What is your religion now? Moderate still a catholic but believe more spiritually

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Somewhat. I'm more in tune and believe more in angels and prayer.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Not at first, I was very critical of people and how they looked. It wasn't till I had cancer and chemo did I realize what and why God wanted me to come back, to teach me to look at the heart not the cover.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Because I thought I was dreaming. Yet I knew I hadn't had a dream. I didn't know what NDE's were until I mentioned a bit of what happened and she said she just read a book on that subject. I lost some of my memory for six months.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I use to go to a chat site in 1998 and as I was going through chemo in 1999 that's when I met a bunch of people that became friends, each has a certain gift. One included whom I call my husband now. Although our gifts may vary, come, and go at times we all remember what we have been told. With me I hear dead people and sometime they communicate through me.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I am no longer afraid to die and I no longer want to kill myself as I know I have a greater purpose here even though I don't care to be here.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My first time was like a year after it happened. Then when I met the group of friends in 1999.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I knew I hadn't dreamed it but I couldn't explain it and what happened. I guess I was afraid of what others would say.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. By becoming more spiritual I've realized anything is possible with God.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain Just when I had the wreck and passed out and ended up in this room and was told to leave it wasn't my time.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I believe we who have had an NDE had one for a reason so that we change and tell everyone what God's plans are and to tell everyone to love.