Crystal M NDE

Experience Description

On December 7th of 2009 I under went for a routine upper scope and a stent was placed between my liver and pancreas. I developed pancreatitis as a result. I was hospitalized and placed on an IV pain pump of Dilantin.

December 8th I awoke throwing up and in very bad pain. My mother arrived shortly afterwards to spend the day with me. She bathed me and helped me go to the bathroom. At that time, she commented on the color of my urine. I later asked her to push the button on my pain pump because of the amount of pain I was in. I began to drift off. I remember waking up and asking her what year it was. I could hear myself ask this and I could hear her answer. I awoke a short time later and told her that I loved her.

The next thing I remember, was being surrounded by the most beautiful light that human words can never explain. There were two slender beings with me, talking to me. I could not make out any features because the light coming from them was so intense. One was a little shorter than the other was. At that time, I knew exactly who they were. I do not believe that I knew them on this earth. I remember communicating with the light all around me. I knew it was God. I could touch the light and it was communicating emotions and thoughts to me. I have never felt that much love and utter peace. I had this overwhelming understanding that EVERYTHING was exactly as it was supposed to be. Everything that was or is was just perfect.

All communication that was done, was done with no words - it was just understood between us. I began to go through the light, which now I understand why people say they were in a tunnel. The light was all around me. For the entire time I was communicating with it and the two beings with me. I remember going through the light towards an end, a brighter spot at the end of the tunnel. I was not afraid; I knew who I was and where I was, like being transported to your childhood home, you remember it.

I remember telling God that I wished I had done more for him, 'Why didn't I do more for you?' I was not ashamed and he/she was not upset with me. I was not being judged. It was a review in a way.

I looked up and saw myself as a small child. I was wearing a white frilly dress and bonnet and carrying a basket. I was running, playing, and laughing in the light. The yellow on parts of my dress was being shown on the light all round me, like a prism effect. I remember feeling so proud of the little girl I was watching, I loved her so much. I knew she was me.

I became very aware of the fact that I was not attached to a body; I was a soul, the soul of who I am now, and whom I have been for eternity.

I remember seeing visions of war and of people suffering. There were African people crying and suffering. This was the point that I asked why I just didn't do more for the world.

We kept moving towards the end of the tunnel. The light became very bright at the end and I knew instinctively that if I entered that light - it was Heaven - and I heard my mother crying and calling my name. I stopped and looked at the two beings and asked if I could go and tell her that I was okay. I knew that she was worried and I just wanted her to know that I was fine. I asked to go tell her and come right back.

I remember being told that the choice was mine. As I turned around to go and find her, they told me to tell what I remembered. I thought that was odd as of course I would remember everything AND I was coming right back.

I remember looking down trying to follow my mother's voice. I walked back, retracing my path through the light and then saw her under me. As soon as I saw her, I was immediately back in my body.

When I opened my eyes there were a lot of people in the room and my mother was crying and saying my name. I asked what happened, why the people were there. My mother said I had a seizure (which was not true). I told her and everyone in the room that I was in the light that I had seen God, and that is when she started crying and told me that I had left her, that I had died. They did CPR for four and half minutes. I had no pulse and was not breathing.

I did not suffer during my death. It was the most peaceful and beautiful experience of my life. I get to live the rest of my life knowing that there truly is something after this life and it's more incredible than we can ever know.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 'December 8th, 2009'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain medication given through IV overdose Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I was hospitalized for pancreatitis after a routine procedure. I do not believe it was life threatening.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal During the entire experience.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the entire experience.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There was no time, no hurry, just being.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I cannot even describe in human words the colors of the light - the fact that I could communicate through touch just as we would talk here on earth - that emotions were also communicated through touch.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Do not remember hearing anything.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The light encompassed you, it was all around and I can understand how a 'tunnel' would be described.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes At the time I did know who the beings were. I do not believe they were loved ones from this lifetime. I did communicate with them the entire time. However, I do not remember all that was said.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was all around and at the end of the tunnel it became very bright.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I was not on this earth

What emotions did you feel during the experience? EXTREME emotions of love and peace, joy, pride when I saw myself as a child.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I remember asking 'Why didn't I do more for you?' and that has changed my life. That was what mattered, in the end, what I did for the love of God was what mattered. Yes, it has changed my life.

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I didn't know it at the time but the vision that I was shown I later saw on the TV when Haiti new coverage was shown after the earthquake.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I now know without a doubt (and I was a doubting Christian) that there is something after this life - I was asked to tell what I remember and I have.

What is your religion now? Moderate

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I now know without a doubt (and I was a doubting Christian) that there is something after this life - I was asked to tell what I remember and I have.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew everything, there were no questions, everything was exactly as it should be.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Life and love is just more precious than ever, money and material things don't matter.

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There are not 'human' words to describe some of the emotions and colors.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes For a few days afterwards I still felt very connected to the light.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Seeing myself as a child and feeling love and pride. I was sexually abused as a child and always thought it was my fault. I could never look at pictures of myself and realize that I was innocent child. After this experience, my life is no longer affected by my past, I have been set free.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared what happened within a minute of regaining consciousness. I couldn't understand why they said I was dead when I knew I was very alive and remembered exactly where I was. Several people in the room heard me tell my experience.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I had heard stories. But I felt that my experience was different than what I had heard.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew exactly what had happened and I just knew that it was real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I had fallen asleep because of the pain medications. I slept peacefully for about an hour (according to my mother). I died in my sleep and immediately after awaking started telling where I was. I could NOT have known that I had died.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No I wish - I miss it.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It was the most amazing experience of my life, death is beautiful, peaceful and incredible.