Experience Description

Around late summer of 1989, my doctor informed me I needed to have a hysterectomy. I didn't want to have the surgery. I felt I was too young and having lost my own mother to uterine cancer at the age of 30, I was petrified of what they might find. Having no choice in the matter because I was experiencing such severe pain and problems, I finally agreed to go ahead with the surgery. They put me in a single-bed ward, and I was left for the rest of the afternoon to think about what was about to happen to me the next morning. I remember praying, telling God that I was scared and to give me strength. All day, I prayed and told God that I didn't want to die.

Around 8am, they wheeled me into surgery, and brought me back sometime later (perhaps around 11am but I’m not sure). What I do remember is that from the time they took me back to my single room, I kept calling the nurses to tell them that something was wrong. They kept saying that nothing was wrong, and sometimes would just give me a shot thinking that I needed pain relief even though I kept telling them I didn't want any. Finally, around 8:30pm that night, I remember opening my eyes and thinking, ‘I'm going to die’. When I tried to reach the buzzer to call the nurse, I didn't even have the energy to do it.

As my head dropped to the right, I saw a bed at the other end of my room, with the most beautiful older lady (with pure white hair) that I have ever seen. I had a feeling she was very old, and yet she looked so perfect, so young. She looked at me with the sweetest smile and said, ‘I will call the nurses, do not be afraid, everything will be alright.’ I must have passed out, for my next recollection is of the nurses hovering above me and asking, ’What do you want now?’ ‘I can't breathe, I think I'm dying!’

They took my blood pressure. In a panic, one nurse told the other one to quickly call the doctor because something was wrong. She gave me oxygen, and soon the doctor was by my bedside telling me that I had been bleeding internally all day, and that they would have to open me up again. Up to this point, I had been so scared thinking that I was going to die, but as they were flying me down the hallway back to the surgery room, suddenly a warm, cozy, comfortable feeling came over me and I wasn't afraid anymore.

I thought, ‘Oh, this is what is supposed to happen!’ and it felt good. I told the doctor who was talking to me as he was running beside my bed on wheels, ‘Your voice sounds funny, It sounds almost like an echo’. ‘Don't you leave us, Corina!’ he answered. The first thing that happened after they put me out [gave me a general anesthesia to make me unconscious], was that I was suddenly floating over my body watching them panic, the doctor saying, ‘I can't see anything, too much blood’. He cut me one way and then the other, up and down.

My next thought and feeling was of being in total darkness. I was feeling my body, but upon looking down, I was not seeing anything. I was petrified, and remember saying, ‘Please God, don't let me be alone, where are you?’ The next thing that I saw was the most brilliant, intense light that I have ever seen. It was so bright that I could barely look into it. In front of the light was like a huge cathedral-like doorway, and standing by that was my mother who had died when I was around eight years old. There were some others there, but didn't recognize who they were.

The feeling that I experienced is somewhat hard to explain, but I will try my best. All and any abuse or pain that I experienced in my life, whether it had been physical, emotional, or mental, was completely gone. In its place, was an intense love, acceptance, devotion, and sense of wellbeing. For one second, I understood it all (so simple), but then it was gone - as if we are not meant to understand it ‘all’.

My mother then looked at me and said (but not in words, only in thought), ‘You have been given a second chance. I can take you the rest of the way, or you can go back’. I remember feeling so extremely good there and wanting to stay, but then I thought of my young children and said to my mother, ‘I have to go back, my children still need me, and you know how hard it was for you to leave us when we were young’.

All of the sudden, I felt like I had been on a huge rubber band stretched to the max, and then brought back again with a jolt so strong, it almost hurt and it felt awkward to be back in there. I opened my eyes to a nurse crying by my bed, in the Intensive Care Unit, whose eyes were as wide as saucers in exclamation. She said, ‘You're back! Oh! You gave all of us such a scare; I will go get the doctor.

I had two questions [for the medical team] right off the bat. One was; ’Who was, and where is, that old woman that was in my other room?’ They answered, ‘What old woman? You were alone in your room.’ Then I asked, ‘I died, didn't I?’ They would not answer me, but when I started telling the doctor about floating over my body, and everything that was said and the tools that were used; he almost fled from my room.

Well, since that experience, my intuitive gifts have become stronger and stronger. Sometimes I feel so connected to everything...plants, trees, sky and all that is. It's the most wonderful feeling in the world. Where I felt anger before, I now feel love. This experience has touched every facet of my life.

I know that God has a purpose for me, because I just had another abdominal surgery (which should have taken one and a half hours, but took four and a half hours) and apparently, I was very ‘lucky’. They called me the ‘tough cookie’, and the ‘miracle girl’. I don't remember having the same experience as the last time, but came back with the most tremendous, wonderful feeling. Before them putting me out for surgery, I remember saying to my doctor, ‘Don't worry, I have asked that God guides your hands and the specialist's hands when he's called in.’ And that's exactly what happened - they had to call a specialist halfway through because of complications.

I know God wants me to do something, but I wish I was sure of what that is. I would be comfortable counseling, writing (if I was better at it), or doing workshops of some kind, but it would be nice to have the gift of healing in some way. I would like to make a big difference in the world, before I go again. I know that this may sound silly to some people, but believe me, this is from my heart and soul. What a wonderful feeling!

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1989

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Surgery-related Had Hysterectomy with complications, blood transfusion needed. Had to re-open me up again for internal bleeding.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was like being as awake, and it was as real as I sit here writing about it.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No It was like a blacker-than-black tunnel, just before I saw the bright light. I was floating through it, could feel my body, but could not see my body.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A bright, intense light that felt so warm and good, so loving and full of wisdom. My personal feeling is that we are all ‘sparks’ that come from the ‘Big Light’. When our physical bodies die, our soul, spirit, essence, feelings and thoughts, go back to the source, the ‘Light’.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? The most wonderful, positive, intense emotions that I have ever felt.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control [no further detail given]

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I wanted to stay there so much because it felt so extremely good, but I knew that if I even put my hand past a certain point, that I wouldn’t be allowed to come back.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Before and after. After the experience, they progressed.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Some laugh it off, and say it was just the ‘drugs’ or ‘something’. Others have grown and learned from it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No I have never taken drugs, or alcohol, in my life.