I drifted off after too much nicotine gum and not enough water and salt, forgetting that I hadn't taken my medicine. I am not sure whether asleep for minutes or an hour or more. As I drifted this early morning, sleep/dreaming was interrupted by birds several times. Once completely asleep, I seemed fine. There were no dreams or illness symptoms, very unusual. Then, ABRUPTLY, SWOOSH! I felt knocked or sucked out into another dimension or space, which was not of this world as we know it. I was shocked, in this possible enclosure of beautiful, fluid, dancing color, living color with no end or beginning with motions coordinating to almost musical swooshing. I am a vivid dreamer but the best artist in the world couldn't have envisioned this. I may have been moving forward swiftly as I'd felt it in my chest. I told myself to get back in my body and to lift my left arm to call 911, but knew it was dead weight. I had no control.
I had to look at the mesmerizing layers of moving color, which was amazing. I noticed that the most gorgeous vivid purple, closest to me, fluttered in and out from the sides like butterfly wings almost, but in less exact, more abstract ways. This almost gave me the impression of being in a square hole, but there were no borders or corners. .It was musically coordinated but the swooshing sound scared me some. I saw teal and other colors and there seemed to be a little oval of white or slightly golden light in the distance. The feeling, dimension, synchronicity of everything was way beyond my capacity to dream or to fully describe. The force which encapsulated me was overwhelming, for some reason. I feel like I fell off a curb and into it. I wanted to come back for my kids and pets.
After failing to get into, and/or move my body, which seemed further behind, I pleaded with God. I even promised Him that I'd take better care of myself. I really didn't think that I was coming back this time, but once in my fleshy body, running my hands up my arms to be sure, I was tremendously relieved. I asked God not to take me that way next time, it was beautiful but I prefer calm and upward floating. I drank a lot of water and took my medication, slept a little, no issues. A couple of things which have seriously worried me for months and had even had me questioning my value here seem to be coming to a peaceful new beginning. I'm glad to be here, I'm not done. I think that God was warning me to make some changes. I was very shaken yesterday and cried tonight, but had a good peaceful sleep in between. I totally trust God. It's the potential consequences to those who depend on me that have shaken me, (even the skunk under my shed, as I realized this morning when something made him run around squealing), as I prayed, and I spoke out the window to chase predators, and calm him.
I also had to confront a new relationship for someone who helps me, but rejected a beautiful life, in many ways, for a somewhat chaotic situation. She is nice but I just don't understand, and now I burden her, so I must change things. I found out today that a dog I'd adopted found a home in her state. My turtle has been upset but I now see that when I go, he'll need a group effort to be safe and happy, he's very high maintenance but so full of light. My kids who are grown but they still have me, and I finally visited the prayer garden last night. I feel a bit like I belong in a hospital, but what do I say: that 'I died'? The feeling in my chest may be enough. I'll make an appointment with my cardiologist. My first NDE was like being in a place prettier than Hawaii, with pure love and wisdom; this time was different, not as peaceful though some may have thought so. The abruptness of being somewhere completely unfamiliar was scary. I could not gauge where or how far I was, and felt encapsulated. Yet, lessons were learned, decisions made, information gathered, blessings granted, by the same compassionate God who's helped me before. This is what matters. Wow, no way could that have been a dream.
Date NDE Occurred: 5/6/12
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness 'I believe I was clinically dead, alone, in my sleep for the second time in 6 years' Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) 'I believe I was clinically dead, alone, in my sleep for the second time in 6 years'
Yes I was asleep, I.am often awoken with symptoms of cerebral hypotension, but this was very abruptly out of body, in another place/dimension, an hour or two into sleep. My heart was fluttery. Every time I sleep there is a potential of hypotension but I raised my head more and fell asleep, supine, with my hands crossed.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No I do when dreaming, but I did feel a small connection to my body. I could tell that my arm couldn't raise or move to call 911.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness I didn't reach bliss. I just wanted to return; BUT lately, I've questioned whether I'd come back, though I knew my kids (pet included) needed me. It's much clearer and larger now.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Throughout it, I was alert and I was not here.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No I felt that whatever I fell into, or was sucked out of, was right in front of me, like another dimension. Judging by my last NDE, I knew that I could go far fast, and felt like I may have been zooming forward, but with only swooshing and color as my guide.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I simply went to somewhere unimaginable, into living, moving color.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The swooshing had a musical pattern. There was a loud swoosh followed by lower, faster ones, it scared me at first. I may have seen black then fell a few feet into whatever this was, during the initial swoosh. When I listened later, I was amazed at how the sound was so in-synch with the movements of color. There was a repetitive, musical rhythm when I first heard the sound, similar to a spaceship- like ride in an amusement park. The sound then became louder and smoother. I still don't like it and I was freaked to be out and in this hole/ dimension going so fast. The colors and sound were taking me away into something like a tunnel.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain More like In a hole of dancing, living color with swooshing moving forward?
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The center light was no more prominent than other colors which moved in and out from the sides, making inconsistent designs; the colors had life and were unending.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear, not of what was ahead, but of suddenly being there and leaving loved ones. I resisted but had a brief period of wonder and amazement at colors and their life and movement, absolutely unimaginable, but overwhelming to think back on sometimes.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No In my last NDE, not this one, I knew I'd be safe. I knew I had to return to loved ones.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I wasn't sure if my pet had enough water, (God sent him to me after my last NDE), plus no one has my house key and my son's about to graduate, and thoughts of my kids.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian I'm open to all Christian churches though sometimes disagree
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I love God and Jesus.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant I grew up Lutheran, but disagree about sleeping until judgement day.I love the beauty and ritual of Catholic churches but do not see necessity for all rules. I like Joel Osteen and have been considering non denominational church but would still attend other if I had someone to go with.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience This was wilder then my beliefs and previous experience, which had been so gentle. Also, to fall foward into a whole new place shocked me. But, I allowed myself briefly to marvel..and kind of found it soothing, to a point..colors more then sound..I knew there'd be good ahead, but realized how badly I want to be here..and had a reaction to promise God I'd take better care, as I had an inkling that this was to spare me..and that was whhen he put me back in flesh, and I awoke facinated bythe feel of it, rubbing my cold, goosebumpy arms..astonished
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain A little rethinking some things about relationships, but think it is ok to make some the priority, and not let myself down. I have been through a lot. Defeated feelings give me less energy for love ones, just as some meds due to mitochondria. It's time to re-energize
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No I knew that God could hear me.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I believe now that heaven is more then a planet..that maybe there is another dimension here, or in space
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Just a strong affirmation..beyond even miracles of nature
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew all that I needed, my absolute desire to be here for my loved ones.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Just a strong feeling of purpose here..concern for loved ones!
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes ABSOLUTELY..there was NO WAY this was a dream, and it reaffirmed my last event and belief in God (never goes) and priorities..but this time, He picked me up and threw me in the pool, figuritively..I was a little puzzled and because this was so wild, and
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain Just that we have never seen full dimension here
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Yes, I felt that the things I was needed for were far bigger then problems or shortcomings..wanted badly to return..wanted just to love..less concerned with being loved (even in heaven)or fears
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes LOVING IS EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life It's been less than 2 days. I needed God to hold me very tightly, and while this was so freaky, I feel now that He has warned me in one sense, to improve health habits, and not to think that anyone can replace me here. I passionately want to stay and also try to reach dreams. In the past 40 hours, I've feared death, confronted an ex's choices, scared, then assured my pet, reduced pain meds, helped a skunk, learned that the dog I've been saving money to help is fine, that I'm not indebted as expected and have more than expected for my kids. Right after talking with God about being irreplaceable, and comforted the spooked skunk that, by the way, wouldn't have as much of a chance at a safe yard without me or with a dog: I just want to be here, and avoid a stroke, make dreams come true; be grateful. Ambivalence/hopelessness is gone, and the best outcomes for something's have occurred; I feel better and have a chance of progress. I need a better check- up, too. It didn't change my love, my dreams that much, but it wrapped up a period of worrying and got me realizing that my health has to come first maybe that was the point.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Uncertain I'm reassessing some.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience Through the years, all dreams fade or fragment..my first nde never changed..this was shorter and though I can't remember fully the color and synchronicity, I remember my prayers and connect to God, and sequence of events..and feelings
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Too soon to know.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I'm so happy that God let me come back. I think he soothed me with purple, too. It was a bit of tough love, guidance and assurance; but not the experience I want when I die. The first NDE was better. Maybe the colors will inspire me in designs.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Hours later, I was upset and my pet was upset. There was compassion, lack of surprise.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Documented my fist NDE here.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real This from a dreamer, this was not a dream.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real See above.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain The day before, I'd seen similar but more static, like un-living purple at the mall, and a crystal butterfly. The next night, we saw butterflies at the prayer garden. I had also been researching ischemia. I was really feeling like the living dead lately but maybe that energy will help. It is interesting that the prayer was what got me sent back. I don't know where cutting pain meds came from, but He responded. God really wants me to take steps now, and this clarified what was most important.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience Through the years, all dreams fade or fragment, my first NDE never changed, this was shorter and though I can't remember fully the color and synchronicity, I remember my prayers and connection to God, and sequence the of events and feelings.