The first thing I recall is seeing my 'fiancé' beside my bed and then doctors/nurses surrounding the bed in a 'flurry of activity' and then seeing myself lying in the bed and being shocked by that. Then 'realizing' I was 'floating' above the bed and then in the corner of the room and at that moment I left the room and was in a state of panic mentally/emotionally.
Things went dark and I had a sensation of floating but seeing nothing. I was very afraid and then I heard/felt a Presence. This Presence was telling me (not necessarily with words) that everything was okay and not to be afraid. The level of Peace and Comfort of this Presence is not describable. After lots of this 'support,' I realized that I recognized this Presence. In fact this Presence was closer - more connected to me (and had a history with me) than any 'relationship' in my life. Again - not describable.
I do remember thinking at first when I realized I recognized the Presence, 'Oh, it must be my grandfather.' (Who had passed away about three years earlier and the only person close to me that had died.) I quickly realized it was not my grandfather, nor any human being I had had a relationship with. In the first few 'moments', it seemed I was trying to make sense of recognizing this Presence.
This Presence continued to comfort me and assure me that everything was okay and that it was going to be wonderful. More incredible than anything I remembered. After some time of floating in darkness and being comforted a light appeared at the end of a 'tunnel'. We drifted toward the light - again this is hard to describe because it was not only with 'senses' we normally use that the experience was being interpreted through.
As we neared the LIGHT, the brightness and magnificence were indescribable. You could not 'look' into the LIGHT. It was humbling and magnificent. I was told that everything would be wonderful and the sensations/feelings had become so peaceful and warm - indescribable.
Even though I had calmed down and was not as afraid, I was protesting and adamant that 'I was not ready' and had a lot yet to do.
I then remember 'standing before GOD'. I can only describe GOD as a huge ENERGY presence radiating LIGHT so intense and brilliant you could not look. Even though I had a sensation of 'standing before God' I was not in a body or any type of form. There were many other 'PRESENCES' around as well, but again nothing to 'describe' as far as visual or audio goes, just an awareness. I was aware of the presence of LOVE. I was 'told' that 'All there is - is LOVE. There is nothing to fear. All that matters is LOVE.' LOVE being so pure again there are not really 'words'.
I heard the question (not with my ears) 'What do you want?' I adamantly replied 'I want to go back, I have a lot to do and I want to help Nelson - he needs me.' (My fiancé) The next thing I was aware of - I was 'waking up' in my hospital bed.
Date NDE Occurred: Approximately June 1976
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Direct head injury Other I had an accident horseback riding and hit my head on some rocks. I was in intensive care with a concussion and went in and out of consciousness and they suspected a blood clot.
As mentioned, I had a head injury and was in and out of consciousness and apparently had a blood clot or they were concerned of a blood clot.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I don't know how to answer this. There was a lot of confusion and extreme fear at the beginning. As the journey progressed the fear went away but it was all a 'heightened' experience using 'senses' I don't know how to describe.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Definitely yes - but hard to describe. Things could happen in a 'flash' - instantly - but also there were feelings of being comforted over a 'long time period'.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. As mentioned earlier - I don't think it is 'vision' in terms of 'seeing with my eyes'. It was an awareness that had brightness, unlike anything usual.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. As mentioned - it was an awareness but not 'hearing with my ears'. More like when you recall a conversation and you 'hear it in your head'.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes See above - after leaving the hospital room - it was total darkness with just an awareness of a Presence and a feeling of moving - being propelled in a direction. After some time of this (during which I was comforted by the Presence) eventually I was aware of a light - seeming to be at the end of a tunnel. It grew much larger as we neared it.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes See above - they were more a Presence. Yes, I knew one of them very well - felt closer that I did to my mother type of thing. The communication was all about Comfort and then Peace and LOVE.
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes See above.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? As mentioned - I was extremely fearful and in a panic. Then I became almost curious as I was comforted and then I felt extremely humbled and then I experienced a feeling of peace that is indescribable.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'I was raised in the Lutheran church with a foundational understanding of their beliefs, but my parents/family were not active in the church. At the time there was a huge falling out within the family and I was not involved in any religious or spiritual dynamic'
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have an understanding of GOD that doesn't fit into a lot of the religious dogma - men's rules.
What is your religion now? Liberal I am very Spiritual but not religious. I think it is a personal journey rather than one that is based on human rules and orders.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have an understanding of GOD that doesn't fit into a lot of the religious dogma - men's rules.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I married my fiancé about two months after the accident and then a few years later that marriage ended in divorce. I felt a lot of guilt over not making it work and especially blocked how my NDE experience related to that. In the last ten years, I have been on a more intense Spiritual Quest in understanding my relationship to God. I think I have been more aware of sharing my Spirituality with my child as a result of this as well as trying to keep the Principles in mind in dealing with others.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There are no words to accurately describe the intensity of the experience - words tend to limit or minimize something that is beyond those boundaries. Describing it seemed to 'take away from' the Holiness. Also words seem to put it out there for 'judgment' of something that is beyond judging.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It is all significant and yet hard to process.
The most important thing for me is realizing that 'there is nothing bad' and that GOD is real - LOVE is really the connection - and there is nothing to fear.
I have not really incorporated this into my life fully but maybe it is a process.
I also found it very comforting and interesting the Presence that was there instantly - so familiar to me and so loving.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It seems that perhaps I told my fiancé and my sister a little about it not too long after the accident - but it was somewhat 'dismissed' and I did not share it further.
About fifteen years later, I was involved in a church group activity where one of the participants father had died and she was very sad. I decided to share my experience with her with the intention of comforting her. Since then I have shared it with a handful of people as it seemed appropriate.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real The experience was definitely real. I did not ever consider that it didn't 'happen' but I did not allow myself to think about it. I blocked it for many years.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was a huge blessing and I am trying to consider it in managing my day to day life.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No