The most frustrating thing about the entire experience is that I can’t remember most of it. I suffered severe short term memory loss from the accident and can only recall a few specific scenes, but unfortunately, the memories are not vivid. Therefore, I am uncertain as to whether it was real or not. But this is what I remember.
In the first scene, I was in the bedroom of my apartment. My uncle and aunt (who were deceased at the time of the event but with whom I was very close to when they were alive) were with me. I don't think I could actually see them, I just felt their presence. We were watching my body lying on the floor, being ‘worked’ on by the paramedics. I did not feel afraid, I felt glad that I was with my family members. all the lights were on in my bedroom and I remember thinking how bright it was. I remember that ‘brightness’ very well.
In the next scene, (I don't remember how I got from the apartment to this next place), I was outside. I was in a vast open field, a beautiful natural landscape, 'moving' (not walking, but floating or flying) over a hill and looking down into a valley. In the distance were several massive mountains that made like a ‘wall’. My deceased uncle and aunt were with me. There were no houses or lights in the valley, and it was night, so everything around me was pretty dark. I remember looking up at the night sky. I remember having a sense that I was on a journey and that I was going somewhere specific, and my family members were there to take me to that place. I don't think I was in heaven, but I was not afraid even though it was night and I was in a strange place.
That is all I can remember, which makes me afraid that maybe it was just a dream. But it did happen while I was unconscious.
Date NDE Occurred: 'June 8, 1995'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack 'In remission from leukemia, suffered a weakened heart from chemo and electrolyte imbalance' Clinical death My heart stopped. I was unconscious and not breathing.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I was able to watch myself in my bedroom. I was completely out of my apartment at some point.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was unconscious. I wasn’t breathing and no pulse.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I was aware of the fact that it was night. The vast open field that I moved through was under a night sky. I felt that I was still on the earth but that I was going ‘somewhere’.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Not that I can remember.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I don't remember.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Two deceased family members were with me throughout the experience. My uncle Harry and my aunt Kate (who was actually not my aunt at all, but my grandfather's cousin). I was extremely close to both of them while they were alive. I cannot remember them speaking to me, but I knew they were there for a reason. They were there to comfort me, help me to not be afraid, and to take me ‘somewhere’. The first thing I said to my mother when I woke up from my coma was ‘I was with Aunt Kate and Harry’. And I believed strongly that I was with them, and that they were not dead, and what I had experienced was real, not imagined.
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I don't remember.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I didn't have many sensory experiences, there was just a sense of ‘knowing’ and a sense of ‘presence’ of my family members. The perceptions that I did have were basically visual.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Not a lot. Just a calmness. I was definitely not afraid at all, maybe even a little curious as to what was going on and what was going to happen next. I felt very safe knowing that my aunt and uncle were with me.
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I knew that I was going ‘somewhere’. I guess I assumed it was the afterlife I was going to.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I cannot remember.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Roman Catholic
What is your religion now? Moderate Roman Catholic
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain IF I could only REMEMBER the full experience, I'm sure that it would have had a powerful effect on my belief system. Prior to the event, I was unsure about the existence of God and the afterlife.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I have a hard time remembering it.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Best - the peacefulness of it, being with my uncle and aunt.
Worst - not being able to fully believe that it was an actual near death experience.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My mother, who was with me when I came out of my coma, is convinced that what I experienced was a REAL event, and not a dream, based on the way I spoke about it when I woke up. Most people I've shared this with believe that it was possible that the event actually occurred, except for one person, who remained skeptical about it.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I would like to know if there are other people who have had a near death experience but only have vague memories of it, like myself. Would going under hypnosis help to bring back the experience?
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I actually wrote my account of this experience in much more detail on the other website you guys have (the after death communication website) by mistake.