Right before the experience, I was rushed to the intensive care unit. I had a collapsed lung, and was severely septic and dehydrated; this was six days after the original surgery. I was in the intensive care unit, and I could feel myself slipping from consciousness. I recall there were at least six people standing around me. The next thing I recall is that I was above myself watching them work on me. I recall feeling so at peace.
My direction was quickly drawn away from what they were doing to my body, to a longing feeling and a light. It was so overwhelming and I felt this love that I remembered but never felt here. I was drawn toward it, feeling so much love and acceptance. It was bright, but it did not hurt. I felt I was actually part of it. I knew whatever I wanted to know, although I cannot remember it now. I seen others there that I knew and knew me, but I do not know how I knew them or they knew me. I was told by telepathy that I am done here if I want to be done here or I could return. It seemed like I was there for days and days, like in some sort of 'holding room'. The feeling I got was that they were waiting for my decision. When I told them my decision, it seemed to take days and days again. Something that kept coming to mind was something of a 're-write', I am not sure what that is. As soon as I said I wanted to return to be here for the ascension (this is one thing that I didn't forget - out of everything - it was this), all the beings present seemed to be so exuberant. I was told that at first return, I would struggle and it would be difficult, but as I progressed, it would become easier. I wasn't sure what was meant by that, but I am beginning to see the picture now. I was told many things of which only a few I still recall but cannot share. On my return, I felt lost and alone and unloved.
That day I awoke from my coma, on life support with my family in tears of joy around me. I also saw what appeared to be the people from the 'holding room' and what looked like angelic beings (the very tall longhaired people that I could not tell if they were male or female). I sometimes feel that glimpse of eternal love and light when I am depressed with life. I regretted coming back for a while (about two years) and constantly felt that I was going to die again. I don't fear death; I actually look forward to it again. I am glad that I am never alone, although at times I feel that way. I know they are there watching me and cheering me on. I take great comfort in knowing that. In my life now, I feel so different than I did before. I feel like an alien here, and the mentality of most people hurts me. I feel this twinge on the inside; I just wish others knew what it feels like to not belong to this world but to be living in it. It is hard to explain in words, I guess you just have to have been through it to know.
Date NDE Occurred: 'July 1, 2002'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes IllnessSurgery-related I had one before on a near-drowning at age 10. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I had surgery for an acute appendicitis, after surgery I went into septic shock and a lung collapsed. I went into a coma and was on life support for a few weeks. I was pronounced clinically dead more than twice during the three week coma. I was given a five percent chance of survival.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the 'Holding Room', I felt I was my most alert, I had a serious soul decision to make, and I had to be.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Felt past, present, and future were all one.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything seemed more vivid and I could see in all directions at once if I wanted to. Everything was clear and I didn't need my glasses to have it so.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't remember hearing with sound. It, to me, was all a telepathic sort of conveyance of thought.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I just felt after I felt a longing feeling or a calling of sorts, I was just in the light - no tunnel or enclosure. Even in the 'holding room' it wasn't an actual room but a place - no walls or anything like that.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes There were others that appeared human, and others that were human like, and still others that were light beings. The ones I felt were angelic were the tall ones with longhair; I could not tell if they were male or female, maybe neither. The light beings were brilliant rainbows, I felt very joyful in their presence, and then there were the human ones, but were very bright like the light itself.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Very bright, soft, pleasant - not uncomfortable or anything. Not hot or cold. No physical feelings associated with it.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I seen a lot. But, the most I remember is being "held", guess they didn't want me to see too much... might have changed my final decision. It was for the greater good. I know.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love, Acceptance, Knowing, Unknowing, Oneness, Belonging, Joy, I think at a few points I felt every emotion known to man.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I will not discuss in detail my life review. But, I will say that I have a forgiving feeling of myself and my decisions. I have a forgiving feeling towards anyone in my life that I had previously held contempt for. I do not anger easily now, like in the past. I understand life lessons I have had, and why others treated me the way they did. I understand my decisions I made and how it was needed to affect others, we are in this together. Your enemy is your friend.
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I will not comment on future events other than to say that they were right, it was very difficult on my return and it is getting easier.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain I was in the 'holding room' - that would be a boundary.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate I was a practicing Catholic before the event.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I don't practice one particular religion. I believe they all have a place for different spiritual paths. I choose to be non-religious, but I step in spiritual light.
What is your religion now? Liberal 'I have no religious preference, I am spiritually centered.'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I don't practice one particular religion. I believe they all have a place for different spiritual paths. I choose to be non-religious, but I step in spiritual light.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I cannot comment on what I know. I don't know why, I just know I can't and I won't.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have more patience and understanding. I don't view the 'bad' things as bad, and the 'good' things as good. They just are because they need to be. I have had marital issues, because I have changed and find importance in other things than my spouse. It isn't bad; it is just different. It is no one's fault we are not connecting on a spiritual level, which has now become of great importance to me, he has given me space to be me, which is helping tremendously.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I cannot explain feelings of such strong emotional worth in words.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I had a NDE when I was ten. So, I have had psychic breakthroughs ever since. I am more highly focused as an empath, or as I like to call it clairsentient.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I felt so loved and accepted. And, I was also surprised at the exuberance they showed me on my decision to return.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes As soon as I was able to talk, they had to remove the ventilator and I had to learn to reuse my tongue to speak. I was diagnosed with an ABI (acquired brain injury) from lack of oxygen (hypoxia). The reactions I got was - okay it is all the drugs taking effect on you. It seems that once I have come to grips with the way I have changed, it appears that more want to adopt my philosophies on life - those of peace, love, and acceptance.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I still feel them with me, I know it was real. I sometimes go there in my sleep. I need to feel their support and love, because I need that to make it through these dark days on earth.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Same reason as above.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? The doctors said I would never be the same again. Well, not spiritually, I am not, but physically I have overcome many obstacles. I went back to school and I have a 4.0 average after three semesters at college. I went back to become a registered nurse, I have this overwhelming need to heal people, spiritually, physically, etc., etc. I can lay my hands on people to heal them. It happens more often than not, sometimes people need to be ill (that is hard to explain, but we all die from something) - we weren't meant to live forever in the physical.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Not at this time.