Experience Description

When I was sixteen I was experimenting in 'huffing' solvents. Everyone experiences the ringing noise and feeling of being 'out of it'. When you have had too much, you simply lie back and your bag remains in your hand. You take a few minutes to become sober again.

I decided to take this further; I lay down first, then placed the bag on my face, and began inhaling the gas. That is the last I remember of consciousness before I was told they (friends I was with) thought I had died. One of them awoke to consciousness, saw me on the ground with the bag over my face suffocating, took it off, and began to slap me. I awoke.

Subconsciously, I can remember everything in great detail.

First came absolute darkness, then a bright orb of light. The light was more than light; it had a hexagonal tessellation of radiant yellow/orange, but mostly white. There it stood, an oval of light, then a line came out from the orb, and it went to the right and up, and then began forming a spiral. Then the line stopped just above it. I was told through the vision and somehow telepathic I understood, this is life. Life begins and life stops, and then begins again. The rebirth. The line began again, with a small gap in the spiral, and again, the spiral began, and stopped. This happened seven more times with gaps between each one, then the last line faded.

I was told this process is never ending until... This is the last message I received, until you become one with... What was it I was told, I feel like I misinterpreted it as God. Nevertheless that's all I had. So I spoke with some Christians I knew about it. And reincarnation is not part of the religion. Hell and Heaven are forever. I always carried this with me, ten years later it was still at the forefront of my mind. I did more research and my vision of a spiral seemed to coincide with the 'Samsara' Dharmic faiths all follow this, I went to my local Buddhist nun, she had an answer for everything, and how the purpose of life was to 'Escape' the rebirth. This is exactly what I had seen; it was an awakening to the true meaning of life. I asked how to escape the Samsara. What followed was too hard to bare, I cannot escape the Samsara as the requirements demand to much, and too much adjusting, to be without 'ego' in any form is a burden I cannot place on my family.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1996

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Suffocating on insolvents bag 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' I was unconscious for around three minutes with a bread bag over my mouth suffocating.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The whole time.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The whole time.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I was unsure how long I was gone, perhaps five minutes, my vision was only twenty seconds (in retrievable memory).

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The vision was Entopic. I was not light reflecting off objects into my eye of that spectrum of color. It was un-sensed color, only one who has seen it truly knows. Imagine seeing colors as an old Technicolor film, and this vision was on the level of fractal images on more than high resolution computer screen.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard the constant ringing sound, but it was outer worldly, almost like - no, indescribable - sorry.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The tunnel is an entrance and exit into the grids. This is the crossover of life, we are judged in the grid world, if the tunnel goes down it's to a lower level, i.e. you did not perform virtuously in this life, if the tunnel goes up, go with it, you have performed virtuously. This was also an understanding I came out of my journey with.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain The light was it, it was telepathically communicating. Don't think that's a being?

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes An orb as described above.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm only the grid dimension, which is the 'gateway'.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Calm, awareness, wellbeing, comfort, intuitiveness.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate None

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I was a staunch atheist, now I am a believer of Samsara, which is not a religion.

What is your religion now? Moderate believer in reincarnation

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I was a staunch atheist, now I am a believer of Samsara, which is not a religion.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes The meaning of life, to escape the Samsara (or whatever particular religions call it). Christians overruled its existence. The Celtic, San Tribes, Native Indian, Hindu, Buddhist, Aristotle all believed it until it was made 'heathen' (no disrespect to Christian beliefs).

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I told my girlfriend I wished to meditate with a nun and explained to her why. She was shaken and I now don't mention it to her, it's a journey I will take upon myself without affecting my relationships.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's hard to communicate exactly. I saw a vision of light but it was more than light, it was everything.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I now know the truth of the rebirth.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The Samsara was what life was about, I believe being sucked into a lower vortex was me dropping a 'level' in life, I fought it, and now I try to live virtuously, but that is still hard to do.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have told a few, like them I wouldn't know how to react, I'm now embarrassed of it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain My mother told me once I have an allergic reaction at a camp and was rushed to hospital and I was close to dying, I don't think that has any relevance here though.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It's now twelve years since. I still believe it whole-heartedly, was it real? Yes, I believe so. I had no knowledge of the Samsara until I received my vision. I don't believe that I was 'supposed' to see it, I think I got there by accident.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No