The experience below took place in the summer of 1988.
As I flew from the boat, I hit the water with an incredible force. My ears rang with echoing terror as the sound of the outboard engine blades came closer. I was pounded by the bow of the boat as it struck my right side, leaving me motionless and without breath. I spun uncontrollably as the boat pushed through me, clearing its path in the icy waters. I was motionless, unable to move or breathe, unaware of up from down. I felt something solid cushion me from underneath, it was then that I realized I had settled at the bottom of the lake.
My mind immediately began to overload; a feeling of terror set in that is indescribable. My mouth opened and gasped for air only to take in a huge amount water. I could feel it enter my body rushing in, taking over, and claiming its new territory. I closed my eyes, and realized that the forced acceptance of the situation allowed my ego to become completely stripped (my interpretation of the feeling and effect). A feeling of calmness now surrounded me as if coming to terms with a lifelong event that ruled me for so long. I was powerless and I accepted it. It was what it was and I needed nothing more than that.
I then made a seamless transition to another space. I found myself in a void; I can only describe it as an endless plain of nothingness as if space without the stars or planets. I had no physical body and saw through something other than a set of eyes. Everything seemed to be coming or existing from the same complete source that I seemed to be a part of now. I was no longer aware of, nor needed to be aware of, the mechanics of what was taking place, for all was accepted for what it was, and what it existed as.
I was immediately bombarded with information that came to me from all directions, through multiple dimensions (as so it seemed). The information rushed at me like the last stages of some type of completion. It was perfecting the harmony in which I was part of now. It was as if my being had become a vacuum, opening up, allowing everything that ever was, or was to ever be, inside. Within what seemed to be a blink of an eye, the information retention was over.
I can only do my best at this point to explain what took place, for words fall miles short of the actual feeling. I will do my best to explain it as this. I now understood everything that ever was, or was ever to be. I didn’t need to think or even question anymore. I was complete; I was what I believe was the highest existence of peace that could ever be, for my mind was silent and I was simply being, and nothing more. I was a part of everything that ever was and with that I had no expectations nor thought, I was existing within everything and had no form or shape, just a complete perfect state of being.
I bobbed to the top of the lake, a whisper of breath shot back into me, my eyes opened and I was a changed person.
After this experience, I had no change or "enlightened" feeling. I did, however, remember the experience, and for a short time, everything seemed to be "polished up". The world had a much more vibrant color.
For the following 3 years, I became obsessed with finding the source of the feeling, which I had had during the experience. I soon fell into a massive depression after finding no answers. I had at this point decided to take my life due to the massive amounts of anxiety I was going through. I called my father and expressed my apologies for what I was then going to do.
After getting off the phone, I crumbled down to the floor and immediately saw myself below me. I was then transported to a plain, in a high place, a bright place that had no effect on sight. I had no physical form and was able to see in a 360-degree view. I entered (moved, floated) into a wooden form that seemed to be an incredibly huge hall occupied by hundreds of people. They took no notice of me as I moved past them to the right alongside the east wall.
I took notice in a huge framed picture of what we currently recognize as Christ. Immediately, I noticed small circular colors bouncing off the walls directly in front of me and all around me. I began to look around and noticed the people had risen looking to the North.
The colors now were incredible, millions of them all dancing and weaving becoming a massive single source emitting a white, bright pearl color. As I began to look to the source, which seemed to be on my right judging by the peoples’ view, some opposing ‘gentle’ force stopped me. At that immediate moment, it was as if I knew this was deathly real. I could feel anxiety enter me at that point, and immediately it was hushed by a source that seemed to caress me, as if a hand had been place underneath my existence.
I began being pulled back, still not able to turn far enough to see the source. I began going for the source, nothing mattered at that point excepting making it to the source. I was then communicated with and told that this was not my time. I was told that what I was going through (this was not in words, but merely communicated to me directly through my subconscious) didn't matter. What mattered was that I understood the experience, and took it as nothing more but an experience.
I explain it best as this. I was standing on a cliff of life, my choices as I felt were to jump off, or step back and re-evaluate the situation. The source simply explained to me that neither was the answer; the answer was to understand it as only an experience and nothing more and the cycle would be complete.
With that, I gasped and took in air, sitting up immediately now being back in my physical body. My anxiety was over, and a huge appreciation for life was now present. Again, the world shined as if all the colors had been polished. I could smell the air and feel its existence. I brushed up against plants and trees feeling their being and what I believe were their emotions. My compassion for life and all living things shot through the roof. I gained a knowledge unknown to me and to date have been able to perceive life from a completely different view. My perception is still as it was, much broader, my information retention has been incredible, learning most aspects of current technology with no schooling whatsoever.
There is so much to say, but I can only hope this has created an inspiration for all who have read this. I have hidden this experience for so long and now wish to get it out to all. I do not fear death and know that the transition to it is seamless and painless. I have come to understand many things about life and its deepest workings.
We know when our time will come, we are just not "present", for instance, before an accident, things slow down, almost stop, as if the movie we are in slows down, and we are able to see it frame-by-frame. At this point, we are going through an index, as if to find out if this is our time, the body knows, as does the wholeness of the being, if it is time, then death takes place, seamless to the body. If it is not the time, the body goes through the experience and the movie speeds back up.
With help, I will hopefully write about the insights I have gained and hope to share them with you all. I hope to find a compassionate being that will help me with the path.
Date NDE Occurred: Summer 1988
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Clinical death I was hit by a boat and sank to the bottom of the lake.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I had no physical form and could see in a 360 degree fashion.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was "present".
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? It was silent, as was the normal ongoing chattering in my mind.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Second experience I saw countless people.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The second experience I saw light, but through shooting, bouncing colors, all collecting to a single bright pearl white source.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I experienced beauty in everything: the void, and other, as the experiences above describe.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Acceptance, then simply "being".
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Please read my experience above. It explains a small part of the insights on life I gained.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control The review came to me with the bombardment of the information I received in the first experience. It was simply more of a passing which went through and into me, allowing me to create an end and then a beginning of being, it seemed.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will See second experience.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Read above.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The information which was received, the way it was received, the knowledge that was held during the experience, and the result of it. (I was bombarded with packets of information all coming through multiple dimensions instantaneously.)
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Astral Projection ability.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best was the feeling of being complete.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I am just now able to share with many.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I hope to share more soon.