Experience Description

I only remember looking down, from the left hand corner of the room, on a bed with someone in it and people around it doing something to that person. I had absolutely no feeling whatsoever. It was a quiet that was more than quiet. There were no emotions at all. At the time, I wasn't thinking or hearing anything, just watching. When I awoke a day or so later was when I realized what a horrifying experience it was -- totally cold and silent. It took me years to even mention this to anyone and I have never mentioned it to my family doctor even though after all this time and him knowing me I know he would not believe me.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1975

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Life threatening event, but not clinical death When I awoke I had bruises on my chest from someone trying to get my heart started.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I'm assuming it was me on the bed, but I didn't actually see my face.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Unconscious.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning No sense of time at all -- just nothing.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Dead silence.

The experience included: Void

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? None.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate catholic

What is your religion now? Moderate catholic

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain At first was terrified of really dying because of the fact that there was nothing in terms of feelings -- just a great nothingness.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy even though I'd attempted suicide. I had never heard the expression 'near death experience'.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The only good that came out of it was I didn't mix alcohol and valium anymore. I eventually stopped drinking altogether.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Only a very few people whom I trust. I think they thought I was hallucinating, but I know I wasn't. I had hallucinations in the past while drunk and this wasn't one.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I know it may not even be considered a NDE, but it was close enough for me.