I was scheduled for a cesarean section with my second child. I arrived at the hospital a little nervous but everything was routine and without concerns. At some point during the surgery, I began to feel incredible pain under my ribs and I began to feel a sensation of spinning. I could hear people talking and laughing. At the time, I took it to be the nursing staff. I was distressed with so much pain. In my mind l shouted for help but I couldn't speak. I called and called for help and then began to call on God. Within seconds, the pain ended and I quickly realized I was out of my body. It took me a few minutes to realize what was going on. I looked at myself in the hospital bed. I wondered how that could be me while it was l standing beside my body. I saw the doctor run in from the left side of the room and a nurse to the right. I moved out of the way to seemingly make space for them. The doctor was discussing me with the nurse and she said to him, 'You have to go, because your next patient is now prepped in theatre.' He screamed at her, ‘how can I do this surgery when I've just lost a patient?!’ Hearing this, I moved further away from them and became preoccupied with the form I had taken. I was fascinated to see that I was somehow poured into a corner. I could see that I was somehow fluid and I saw that I was some kind of silver-like liquid mercury, or a silver thread-like being.
After hearing I had died, I said very matter of fact, ‘oh. So I died. I always wondered how I would die. But, I'm not dead. Don't they know I'm not dead?’
I seemed to turn away and very quickly was sucked into a small tight tunnel. It was dark and I could see a small pin prick of light at the end. I moved through the tunnel for what seemed to be a long time. Somehow, I knew I was going to have to answer a question when I reached the light. I was also told, ‘don't say it’. The words rang through me as I wondered, ‘don't say what?’
As I went through the tunnel, I began to soak up knowledge. I understood everything. Physics, math, chemistry, life and death, why we are here, where we are going. All of my questions on earth were answered.
I was a super concentrated form of my physical self, with all of my memories and experiences. I worried about my mother. I wanted to let her know I didn't really die.
As I slowed down, the light wrapped around me and I instinctively knew that l was back and that l am just a tiny part of this light now reunited. I was home. I still worried.
I noticed a presence in front of me. It communicated to me, not by talking but just by thinking. I understood the question. ‘Are you ready to come with us?’ I was scared. I asked for permission to go back. I said I was scared and I had to tell my mum I was okay, or she would be very upset. If I could do that, I would come back to the light. We had a discussion about some things I had wondered as a child and I still have that knowledge today. I was shown a short image of my birth and my mother and father. Then my grandfather’s death.
I was told if I am ever to speak of this then to give this message:
It's not complicated, don't make it so.
And, we have it all backwards. We don't live and then die but we die and then live.
Stop searching to answer the mystery when there isn't one.
I was made aware of a definite boundary and that if I agreed to cross through the light I could never go back. It was my choice. I said I'll go back.
I heard a loud swooshing in my ears and seemingly fell into my body. I woke up.
Date NDE Occurred: 21st July 1975
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Surgery-related. Childbirth. While under general anesthesia 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening' Shock
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I heard and saw the discussion between the medical staff.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was given the answers to all things.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Moving through the tunnel.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
The events happened quickly. l don't know how long I was there.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There is a great weight on earth, including learning, working, and the physical body. During my experience, everything is known and somehow reinstated. I was light. I moved fast and was all knowing.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Somehow I didn't need to hear, I just absorbed the communication and likewise that was how l answered. Just by thinking. The communication was fast and I didn't need to take time to interpret what was being said.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The tunnel was dark and swirling. I went through at an incredible speed not knowing when I would stop. I had no control of the journey.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain There was another being somehow to the left of the being conversing with me. I don't know who it was. Although my grandfather had passed away years before, I didn't recognize this as someone who knew me.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was incredibly bright. Almost a brilliant white. I could see it without having to turn away. The light could communicate with me, and I with it. I was part of it.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Although I didn't pass through the light, l was aware that there was something beyond. I knew I could go through the light across the boundary.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Confused, anxious that my parents would grieve. A little scared.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I only wish I could speak about everything l learned. I was absorbing information incredibly fast about all things. I was given mathematical equations that made complete sense to me.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future Just that my name was known in some kind of book or list.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I knew there was a boundary it was very real. It seemed to be about a foot in front of me.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will All I seemed to be concerned about during my experience was my mother. She and others knew that when we die we go on and are not really dead but more alive than here on earth. I needed to explain this to my parents.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic Not actively involved within the church
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was not concerned with religion or church going or even praying. As a busy young mum with a three year old and another baby on the way and an abusive marriage I had little time to look for answers.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes While I do not believe in a ‘God,’ I greatly believe in the almighty power, the one true being of light that brings us back, and teaches us.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin The being or voice seemed to know me. We conversed for some time. The being was something of a teacher explaining things to me and showing me my life. It allowed me to decide if I was to stay or come back.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain My experience had nothing to do with any religion or God. I was more aware that this being was the greatest power of all, but not God as such.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt I was part of the light, like one tiny fractionated sliver returning home,
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I experienced a powerful being during this time. I did not question it's power, I knew it existed.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God does not exist
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Although I learned many things, when I awoke I began to talk to people about us having this life and death thing backwards. Unfortunately, many people told me it was the surgery that caused my hallucinations
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I know our purpose but somehow can't speaking it. It's like a name I'm trying to remember , it's there but I can't get it out or put it into words.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I learned that we die in order to live. This information was passed to me during my time in the light.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I greatly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes To stop searching for answers. They're all there and it's simple if only we would see.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Only that we create the hardships and challenges and its really uncomplicated.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain Only that I was home in the light, but I was concerned for my mother on earth.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes
After the NDE:
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I can remember everything, my journey, my feelings, my being, the whole experience with great clarity.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I am very intuitive. I can pick up items belonging to others and get a sense for what they are feeling.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I now believe in reincarnation and I feel we are given the choice to return to the world as many times as we want to.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Minutes after l awoke from my surgery l was discussing ‘the message’ with the staff.
I told anyone who would listen. The reactions were disbelief, discounting it happened, or thinking I had gone crazy.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I had a great sense of how amazing the earth truly was. I was often found sitting on the grass marveling at the trees, grass, and the sky. It was like I was seeing this for the first time in my life.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I can't remember any dream or nightmare I might have had thirty seven years ago, but I remember this accurately and it was more vivid than each day I spend awake these days.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No