During recovery from cancer surgery, I was lying in my hospital bed. I began to feel very shaky and weak. My mom was sitting next to my bed and I asked her if I was going to die. She said, 'No.' I began to hear a very mechanical sound, like a weird, whooshing, mechanical wave-type sound. I had a respiratory arrest. They ran a code blue. I was gone.I perceived myself in a room, like some kind of control room. There was a bunch of people waiting for me. There were many, many people. The focus of all these people seemed to be on me. Some female being ran in and said to a male being that it was not right and it was not my time. There were two females sitting next to me. I call them angels. I asked them what was going on but they only looked at me and smiled. It was the kind of smile that a mother gives an infant. They told me, in a telepathic way, that there was no possible way that I would be able to understand what was happening but to not be afraid. After the male and female discussed my time not being right, I was sent back to my body. I woke up gradually to see the room full of doctors working on me and my mom was crying. I am still very afraid of death. I have cancer and will die soon but it still scares me, even after this event.
Date NDE Occurred: July 2012
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness. Surgery-related Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I had a respiratory arrest.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the whole event. It was the same.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Same
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard very strange sounds.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain More like a tunnel of sound.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I am not sure who all the people were.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Confusion. I really wanted to know what was going on and who all these people were.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain It seemed like I was in some kind of screening room where the final decision is made as to whether to continue or not.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes The way I pray changed. I don't ask for things. I just close my eyes and try to imagine myself in God's care.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe in angels that are with each person. Guardian angels you might call them.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I saw alot of people that seemed to be waiting to greet me. I do not know who they were though.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I felt like there were beings that where of a higher nature that reported to soemthing higher than them. Probably God.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I ended up feeling like there is so much that we do not understand and are not capable of understanding. The analogy I use is it is kind of like trying to teach an infant algebra.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes It seemed like there where many other people waiting to greet me that had already crossed over. A decision was made as to whether it was my "correct" time to join them. There were two angels beside me that sometimes I beleive are still with me in my life. Probably my guardian angles so to speak.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I greatly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt like the two angels I saw loved me unconditionally. They looked at me with the love that you see a mother look at an infant.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life. I have become closer to God. I believe in angels. Slight changes in my life. I have become closer to God. I believe in angels.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I try to be more compassionate with people. It changed the way that I pray. I do not ask for things when I pray. I just try to be with God.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Some of it is hard to explain, such as the sound I heard. It is hard to compare it or put into words because I have never heard anything like it before. Much of the communication was non-verbal so it is hard to describe that as well.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The angels. I really felt like they loved me and watched over me and made me not afraid.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Maybe two months. They reacted differently depending on the person. I wish someone could put this whole experience into some kind of perspective for me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard of them but my experience was not like what I had heard about, at all.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was very real.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was very real and I still feel that way.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It bothers me and I am still very, very afraid of dying and I don't really know why.
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