I had fallen and broken my hip. I was in surgery to have it repaired. During the surgery, I went into respiratory failure. I remember being in a darkness without boundaries and I was not in a body. It was as if the essence or spirit of me was there. I was floating as if in water but there was no water, just a darkness. I was calm, peaceful, and warm and it felt as though I should be there. I don't know how I knew but I was waiting. I did not questions this, I just knew I was there and it was okay. There was no sound, no feeling, and no pain. And it was completely good. But I was unable to advance to the next part of the experience.
Then I was in the intensive care unit and back in my body, but still floating. As if my body was a shell and I was disconnected from it. I was aware of everything around me, doctors and nurses coming and going but outwardly, I was still unconscious. I could hear all the sounds and I could think. I was aware of everything, understood everything, and was completely calm and clear in my mind. It was almost matter-of-fact. I was aware of the respiratory equipment breathing for me, my hands were restrained, and I knew when the doctors were drawing blood from me. I felt no pain, no emotion. This state came and went as I went deeper into darkness for two days.
Then I came back, reattached to my body, and woke up. They removed me from the respirator after allowing me to breathe on my own for a while. I remember waking up for this. After they took me off the respirator, I did not have any more experiences.
Date NDE Occurred: 'March 9, 2007'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) . Respiratory failure during surgery.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I had stopped breathing in the operating room. It was as if I understood everything and had no more questions about anything.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There was no time dimension to me during this experience.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? There was a clarity and yet there was no need for vision in the physical sense.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? In the operating room there was no sound. In the intensive care unit I was aware of even the smallest sound.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I would say that the vast void of darkness was another dimension. Even though it was darkness it wasn't opressive or frightening. It was quite pleasant
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Not really emotions but a sense of calm and peacefulness that I have never experienced before. As if I had achieved my true self.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal none
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I believe in something greater than myself, and a passing to something else. I believe in the essence of a person, their spirit or soul passing to another plane of existence.
What is your religion now? Liberal Christian
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe in something greater than myself, and a passing to something else. I believe in the essence of a person, their spirit or soul passing to another plane of existence.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I sensed that I understood for the first time. I am not sure exactly what I understood but there was a sense of understanding within me. As if I was in the right place at the right time and all was well. That I was where I was supposed to be.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I embrace life differently now. I am less fearful and uncertain of myself. Because I know there is something wonderful afterwards, there is no reason to be afraid now.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is as if I do not possess the words to adequately describe the experience. No matter what words I use they do not seem to convey exactly what was happening.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I feel different as a result of this experience. A calmness, less fearful than I used to be.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole thing was significant to me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I have heard of people seeing a bright light in NDE's but I did not experience that. This was totally different from anything I had ever heard.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. These memories came back a little at a time to me. It took some time for it to become clear in my mind. As it did, I felt calmer and more peaceful. It has given me some answers that I had always questioned about death. I am no longer fearful of death and know I believe there is something after life. It is not to be feared but to be embraced when the time is right. I believe the reason I was floating and waiting to move on is that it was not my time to die.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It was a truly wonderful experience. The only time in my entire life I felt totally calm, peaceful and belonging.