Experience Description

I began the day applying a new lash-curling mascara. At the end of the workday, I had a raging headache and my eyes were bloodshot due to what I believe was an allergic reaction to the mascara. I didn't think to take a headache pill before leaving work, so when I was at the light, I decided to pop into the parking lot across the way and go through the drive-through to get a small drink to wash it down with. When I entered the parking lot, having been there many times before, I remembered being sure to clear a cement light pole before starting my turn into the drive-through lane. I clearly recall seeing the light go past my windshield. However, the next thing I knew it felt like I had run over a newly installed median strip. I whipped my head back to look and no, there was nothing new there and when I again faced forward, I was looking at the pole.

The next thing I remember is lying on a set of beautiful white marble steps that were incredibly comfortable. I know I was lying there in supplication. My hands were raised above me on the next few steps and my hands were clasped as in prayer. I also remember clearly thinking that my body was back down there behind me somewhere.

When I looked up, I saw grayish-ness. I then realized there was a line of beings standing in front of me. Behind them was the famous 'White Light'. It reflecting from behind them and gave me a grayish view and so I could not discern who the beings were. I do know they felt very familiar but I won't go so far as to say they were actually family members.

I remember a lot of whispering. The tallest in the middle has 'his' head bent toward a person whispering in his ear who I view on his left. I remember at that point thinking, 'Oh, boy this is it.' I then proceeded to 'recall' all the supposedly bad things I had done in my life. Then all at once, they all looked in my direction as if realizing that I knew they were there and I was now conscious. Then all of a sudden, I got a rush of warmth and love. I cannot describe this to you, when you fall in love there is this feeling, it's nothing compared to really honestly, physically feeling love the way I felt it from them. I was like awed.

Then I remember the one on his left was really bending his ear and I really began to hear them and realized they were talking about me. Specifically whether they should allow me to stay or take me with them. I HAVE TO INSIST, THIS WAS NOT A DREAM. I vividly recall having been awake and aware of my body in the car the whole time.

I panicked at this point, and thought with desperation that I could not leave my husband, not now. He needs me. Then, that quickly, it was over.

I was totally awake and aware of where I'd just been and reached up to ask them to let me reconsider. Then I realized that was not an option. Then I looked up into my rear-view mirror and saw dark thick blood coming down my forehead. My first thought was back to a scalp wound I had as a kid. It was bright red, not a big deal. I knew right away that this wasn't good. The next thought was to turn my headlights off as the car had stalled so as not to kill my battery. My next thought was that I needed to get help. I tried to open my door but it was shoved back and so I had to remove my seatbelt and physically turn in my seat and shove it open a bit. (I had electric windows, but the thought never entered my head to open it until one of the people helping suggested it).

Fortunately, there was an ambulance in the parking lot already because they were picking up a fall victim. They came right over after the people who responded to me got their attention. Unfortunately, the official report reads that I was unbelted, with no headlights and starred the windshield, none of which was true. Anyway, I have since tried to relate this to people. They act like, okay sooth the sick-headed woman and agree. Or, oh no I believe YOU believe it happened.

I am sure it wasn't that great an event for anyone, least of all your establishment, but for me whether anyone else in the world believes or not, I am one person who cannot wait until the end, because of my few seconds at the steps of heaven.

I believe from my experience that God loves us. That most of the written bad things we may have done can and are forgiven. I used to believe in a 'judgment day'. When I started fretting over my problems in the past and was treated so wonderfully by them, I now believe you are judged when you get there. No waiting. I believe in my heart I am a good person and God and Jesus exist. I believe that for those reasons, I was immediately about to enter heaven if I didn't panic. I won't panic next time. I have also helped people I know who are dying to let go a little easier too. I believe that having my experience and relating it to others makes them less tense about going home.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: January 4, 2001

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes AccidentAllergic reaction Life threatening event, but not clinical death I had an accident and my head hit the top of my vehicle and split open. I needed many stitches.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I believe hitting the roof of my vehicle kind of knocked me out of my body. I don't remember leaving it. However, coming back was like a punch in the head from the top.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was very alert and knew every second what was happening around and to me

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Just the people whispering. I was physically in my car alone and no one was near my car. So I know the whispering was what I had said it was.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No I did not, however, when they were deciding my fate, I feel I would have gone with them through the light behind them, had I had no problem going with them. I got scared and panicked though.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Several beings, I would guess five to seven people standing in front of me. I could not make out their faces, as I said their features were in gray shadows. The tallest person was in the middle with the rest flanked to either side. The middle person appeared to be male; the person to his right (my left as I am viewing them) appeared to be female. I felt these people felt to me to be male/female. I could not discern the gender of any of the others. But all loved me and seemed anxious to know if I would go or stay with them. I don't know how any of them felt about my outburst of not wanting to leave my husband. Quick as a flash, I was back in my car. No second thoughts about it.

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was obvious it was white BEHIND the beings, but they blocked the light and it appeared gray to me. Murky almost.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Only that I seemed to be at the threshold of a very beautiful place. The steps were the whitest marble I'd ever seen. And more comfortable than anything I'd ever laid on before. I just knew that something this beautiful that was so comfortable was but the beginning of truly wondrous things to come -- if I hadn't panicked.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I remember some things I did in the past and felt guilt and shame but only for a second before these people seem to come to my rescue. They didn't say it, but I FELT them say it's okay, you don't have to worry about those things. And I FELT the warmth and love like nothing I have ever physically felt before.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

What is your religion now? Moderate

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Oh yes, I am no longer afraid of the afterlife or dying. I live each day knowing this is only a trial run. I am no longer afraid of living anymore either, because I know they really are up there, watching, and looking out for me. I feel so much safer that I ever had before my accident and experience.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Twice now, I have awakened with the sense that I had just jarringly returned to my body. Both times, as in the time when I returned to my body, I experienced what felt like someone whacking me on the head and a really bad headache following.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The physical feeling of love was the best part of all. Second best was knowing the 'bad' things I did in my life were forgiven. (I have asked for that forgiveness from Christ over and over for the same things sometimes not knowing if they were forgiven and apparently they were.) Thank you Jesus. I am so grateful for that. The worst part is again, feeling like I should have gone with them instead of staying here.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Disbelief of course. Humor her, she's nuts. I know you BELIEVE you had this experience. Others who claim to believe me; I cannot really gauge their reaction. I simply say to myself, God gave me this experience for a reason -- to tell about it. So I do, without embarrassment. And with total sincerity and however they choose to believe it is on them. I don't have to fear the unknown anymore. That in itself bothers some, like my husband. He's a little afraid and a little jealous I think, because I found out what my fate will be and he still doesn't know his. I have friends and family who have passed that I have shared this with and they believed, and I think I helped them not be so afraid. I am glad I could do that.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Two out of body experiences. I don't remember being out. I remember physically re-entering my body and it hurt. Gave me a start out of my sleep and a terrific headache. As for any other things that happened to cause the same thing again, no. I am coming up to an operation. I'm a little scared because I don't know how it will go. I will let you know if anything happens then. I don't think it will though. I'll keep you posted. For some reason I just feel my time here isn't over for a while yet. I just feel that certain.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes, at no time during this entire experience all the way up until the doctor put a needle in my head to numb it, did I ever feel any pain at all. None. I crushed the steering wheel with my chest and had no effects from it. I did smack the crown of my head resulting in a spider web splitting of my scalp, which took many stitches in and out to close, I did appear to have a concussion, which made itself known the next day. I feel truly blessed in having had this experience.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No, this was very helpful in putting the event in story format. I remember it all as a split second happening. But one thing is sure, no matter how I'm feeling, when I am under the weather or unhappy, I just remember how it felt to be embraced by these beings by THEIR FEELINGS. It's just incomparable!!! I hope my little experience is helpful to you in some way. I would appreciate some sort of response, as I submitted to another site before and never heard from them.