The day had been an emotionally difficult one, as my mother had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I was quite depressed and had spent the day on the couch, starring out the sliding glass doors that were on the ocean side of the house.
At last, it was bedtime. I had lain down in bed and my husband was in the adjoining bathroom getting ready for bed. Suddenly I became extremely nauseated, leaned over the side of the bed, and began vomiting. Then all went black.
The next thing I knew I was mildly aware of hurling through a tunnel type atmosphere. Then I was situated in the midst of a startling, seemingly alive, white, white light. Still feeling a bit stunned and confused, I wondered. 'Where am I, what is going on?' Then it hit me. I thought to myself, 'oh shoot (not exactly the word, if you get my drift), I must be dead!'
Almost simultaneous with that realization, it seemed as if the light penetrated throughout me and I felt the most magnificent warmth, peace, and acceptance imaginable. I felt awe. Loved and cradled. It was clear that the light loved me so completely, knew me through and through, had no hesitance in accepting my foibles and weaknesses, and felt quite a bit of humor about how seriously I took myself and my life.
As I settled into the love without condition, I realized more and more how utterly and absolutely intelligent light was. The sheer level of creativity and intellect was emotionally and psychologically beyond comprehension. I knew that because light was telepathically melded with me, allowing me to sense at least a minute degree of what was contained within. There was so much thought and information that it felt as if zillions of scrolls of data about the true nature of reality just kept unraveling. I was lost and overwhelmed and had no comprehension of what it all meant. Yet the central message came through loud and clear. Reality is SO much larger, multi-layered and multi-dimensional than we realize. Consciousness is able to experience so much more than what we commonly practice. Everything has purpose and meaning
Just as I was beginning to settle into this wondrous environment, I 'heard' the first actual speaking voice. Everything had been telepathic until now. The voice, very deep and masculine, said, 'do you want to go back?' I understood immediately that it was asking if I wanted to go back to my life on earth. My immediate thought was, 'No'! How could I leave this place of utter beauty and love? The voice then said, 'if you want to go back, concentrate on the sound'. 'Sound, what sound', I thought.
I remember moving my attention away a bit and kind of listening to the left side. Far, far away, as if through a distant tunnel, I heard a very faint voice calling my name. I realized it was Ed, my husband of some eighteen years. As soon as my concentration locked on his voice, I lost a second and then was back in bed with him standing over me, screaming as loud as he could. The experience ended.
Date NDE Occurred: September 1983
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Illness 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening'
I had a sudden loss of blood pressure, started vomiting and had a small seizure just prior to the experience.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness Shortly after arriving within the light.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Shortly after arriving within the light.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The experience involved a great deal of telepathy.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I just remember whizzing through a tunnel-feeling atmosphere.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The light was a living, viable being.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The white light was a being and simultaneously a location.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Confusion, then elation and awe. Absolute peace and a feeling of rightness.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal No religious beliefs at the time.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I call it my 'spiritual beliefs', as 'religious', to me, implies organized religion. Prior to the NDE, I was agnostic. I'd been to church occasionally as a child and had attended some bible study classes as an adult, but it did not resonate as true to me. After the NDE, I had no question that there is a creator, that we are all inter-connected, and that the truth of reality is far greater and more magnificent then we can imagine.
What is your religion now? Liberal 'Spiritual but not a believer in the value, FOR ME, of organized religion.'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I call it my 'spiritual beliefs', as 'religious', to me, implies organized religion. Prior to the NDE, I was agnostic. I'd been to church occasionally as a child and had attended some bible study classes as an adult, but it did not resonate as true to me. After the NDE, I had no question that there is a creator, that we are all inter-connected, and that the truth of reality is far greater and more magnificent then we can imagine.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Prior to this NDE (perhaps over the course of the previous 2-3 years) I had, on 3 separate occasions, caught myself lingering in the corner of the ceiling, watching myself sleep. Having NEVER heard of an out-of-body experience, I had no idea what the heck was going on. It terrified me, I thought perhaps I was losing my mind, and I had immediately bounced back into my body each time. These OBEs, coupled with the NDE and the information gathered there, encouraged me to subsequently seek further knowledge of the abilities of consciousness.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is difficult to make words portray the fullness of the experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Although I would say that it may be because I felt so compelled to explore after the NDE, I did come to experience telepathy, precognition and dream information.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told my best friend Nancy the next morning. She loved hearing about it. Over time, I told others, and then wrote a book about it and some of my subsequent experiences. The book was self-published in 1999.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It happened. That's all I can say. It was as clear as sitting on the couch.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain Only OBEs but they were all different then the NDE.