In a state of depression over the end of a romantic relationship, I attempted suicide with an overdose of heart medication. I was ready to die.
I saw in the center of my vision an infinitely small, tiny black dot. I realized that this tiny dot of blackness is in everyone's vision at all times. It is so small, like looking at the tip of a needle head-on; not in profile. It is so small that we cannot notice it, but it is always in front of us, and in everything that we see. No matter where we look, it is always in the center of everything that we look at. It is death.
The tiny black dot grew larger, not because it had changed size (it didn't), but because I became closer to it. Finally, it grew until it covered my entire field of vision.
At that point, I was in a different place with two or three other beings. They were much taller than I was. I felt very small and insignificant beside them. They were very compassionate to me, despite how inconsequential I was compared to them.
I was shown my life, and they talked about it. They pointed out an event in my childhood when I was four or five years old, and one of them said to the others, 'That's why he had to do great things,' and the others agreed.
I didn't know what they were talking about, and I wanted to know what they meant, but suddenly I was a million miles away from them. I was back in my body, in my room, in my bed. I slept a long time, but I remembered.
I didn't know what they meant by 'great things', but since then, I have performed at the White House three times (musician), and I produce a radio program which is broadcast all over the world and heard by over a million people each week, and many other things.
I didn't realize it at the time, but years later, I realized that their words had come true, and that my suicide attempt was a stupid mistake, and that I was given a second chance.
Date NDE Occurred: 1996
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Other suicide attempt via drug overdose
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness When the black dot was everything.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When the black dot was everything.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was like a round, black hole.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Two or three tall beings. They showed me my life and were compassionate to me. I was shown my life, and they talked about it.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, compassion.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I was shown an event when I was four or five. My mother was a young, troubled, immature woman. I misbehaved, and she was irritated with me. I asked her if she still loved me, expecting her to say, 'Yes, of course I do,' but instead, she blurted out bluntly, 'No!' I was only four or five, but I felt as if the ground beneath my feet had fallen away. I suddenly had no one, and nowhere to go.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future In retrospect, many years later, I understood the meaning of what they said.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I know that death is way less scary than life.
What is your religion now? Moderate
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I know that death is way less scary than life.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I trust that I have a destiny to fulfill, and that I no longer try to quash my intuition.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I had previously tried to smother my intuition as 'occult', which is forbidden by my religious upbringing. But after the experience, I realized that this kind of intuition is just another talent or gift. It is the ability to sense danger, or evil intent.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Anecdotal.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I would say that suicide is rarely, if ever, a good choice.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Thank you for this opportunity, and for obviously putting much time and effort into this project. Your kind compassion is evident in the thoroughness of your work. All good things to you and yours.