My near death experience: It had been a strange day. I was very happy and bubbly. I had spent the day with my 9-day-old daughter, just getting home from her doctor’s appointment at 9 pm. I got home, kissed my 3 year old good night and told my grandmother good-bye: she had just watched my son. Then sitting down to drink a hanger 24 (a wheat beer) with a close friend to help my milk supply come in as I was nursing my daughter. Shortly after, my close friend offered me some spice (a synthetic marijuana) at first refusing, knowing I had a responsibility to my wonderful children. Shortly after feeling the beer, I then agreed. Sitting in the garage, he packs the bowl of spice offering me the first hit I turn it down, knowing the first hit is the worst, from smoking in past. He then takes the first hit and hands me the pipe. As I suck in and inhale the spice, I feel a light headedness. My friend didn't think I had gotten a good enough hit, I then agreed to one more hit knowing it was a short high and my kids were both asleep I would be fine.
Seconds after I tell my friend he ‘sucks’, I then rest my left elbow on the arm rest of the rocking chair in my garage, putting my hand over my face in disgust with my actions for what I had just done. Right then my sight become strange my eyes moving rapidly up and down up and down almost a tracing movement, very rapid, very fast!! At that point, I realized I was having a seizure; I could not move. I could not look away from the blank space I was focused on. I remember seeing my friend, out of the corner of my eye, taking another hit while he told me, ‘man you're stoned.’ He did not realize what was happening to me.
The movement became faster and more rapid. I started to see my life flash before my eyes as if it were flipping through a stack of cards. I began to hear the sound of my mother's womb while hearing my slow heartbeat. I then start to see life as a child, skipping any regulation of a small infant. I see my childhood; I see all the things and loved ones that made me happy. I see struggles, hard times and struggling in school as a child. I then see my son: all I see are his bright blue eyes and his precious face, then seeing some good and bad times in between. I see the face of my 9-day-old daughter. Then I'm gone.
I see myself and the situation I'm in. I'm outside of myself looking down. I guess what you would call an out of the body experience. All I see is my friend on his knees talking to me saying, ‘Hey look at me. Talk to me, I'm here It's me! Ashley!!!’ Then I was gone, I was no longer in my body.
I briefly saw my very blurry future. Shortly thereafter, I was nothing but a soul being sucked up, looking down at the dark sky. I could see the stars, seeing space and seeing my own soul. It became dark. I began to hear breathing, as the breathing became heavier and faster I saw nothing but black: my soul was being taken while I fight, I'm fighting with all I have; nothing is peaceful, nothing is calm, I'm being suffocated when I hear God.
I began to beg for forgiveness, beg for my life, all I can see is my children, all I want is them. For a split second, I feel at peace, I know I'm dying and it’s okay. I'm looking over the ones I love and everything will be fine. Then the breathing I'm hearing becomes overwhelmingly fast. I realize I'm being given a second chance at life, as I'm struggling to get back into my body my life begins to flash again, just like before, as if I were flashing through a deck of cards, but this time is different I can't make out this life, ‘who's is it?’ Then I see my kid’s face and I know it's mine!!! This is my life, my vision comes back, and I'm staring at the spot I had zoned out, as my hearing comes back.
All I can hear is my friend saying, ‘we've got to go, come on we've got to go (go get help)’. Then I'm able to speak and move my eyes again but all I'm able to say is ‘I'm here! I'm here!! I love you I love you!’ I see my dog by my side looking very concerned. My friend on his knees hugging me saying ‘it’s okay, it's me!’ I then know I am here, I am back, I've been given a second chance! I run inside, I check on my daughter make sure she isn't too cold or too warm, I run my hand along her face and tell her I love her. I then run into my son’s room, I get on my knees beside his bed, I kiss him over and over, hugging him while tears roll down my cheek.
Before this experience, I was not a believer of a higher power or God. I am now a firm believer of God. I met him first hand that night. He gave me a second chance at life. I have taken so much from this experience. I've learned life is not measured by the things you have but by the people you have in it. Life is measured by the love you carry and share with others. In the short time I was gone, I didn't think about the constant stressors in my life, none of that mattered. I saw my loved ones, my family and friends and most importantly my children. God got through to me that night. Life is what we make out of it. God helped me realize, that night, I want to make a whole lot more of my life, improve in a lot of areas, become a better mother & make better choices.
Date NDE Occurred: 'August 8, 2012'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain. Drug or medication overdose Other I was perfectly healthy before experience
My cause of death would have been a seizure.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Probably shortly towards the end.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. About the same prior not the same during, though.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Nothing like every-day hearing.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain It was almost as if I was being sucked up but not passing through a tunnel.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I encountered Jesus. I cannot make out if I met any other beings yet.
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Possibly.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place I would say a very dark place but also space and the sky
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Overwhelming sense of remorse and great fullness. Relief and calmness at one point.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Do not know I was a non believer of any higher power before my NDE
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I met God.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Jesus
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain I'm not sure as to what all I saw
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Yes God does exist
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Living is forever life isn't. God does exist
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes Yes living is forever life isn't
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? Unknown
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events at time
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of it. At the same time, I'm not sure as to what all I saw.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes People think I had a bad trip or something similar, but when I speak with someone who has had a NDE they know what I went through and know it was real.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I did not see God's hand at the time but looking back I can see his hand.