Experience Description

I was in labor of my youngest daughter. I was partially anesthetized for I had an operation instead of a normal delivery. They anesthetized me more than necessary because the anesthesia did not work immediately. My blood pressure dropped and I started to feel very sick. After half an hour, my daughter was born. Then they continued. I did need a sterilization, because I could not have a third child. It was already my second child with an operation; doctors did not want to take the risk of a third. I was still conscious. While performing the sterilization, they discovered I had cancer and they had to cut it out. Anesthesia did not work like it was meant to, and my body protested from pain. My heart stopped two times. They recovered me by putting adrenaline straight into my heart. I was back, and did not feel anything strange at the time. After another two hours (they had many problems with the cancer), I felt dizzy. My heart stopped for the third time. I started to feel little 'shakes' inside of me and before I knew, I saw myself lying on the operation table. After a few seconds, I saw the doctors panic. One of them shouted that I lost too much blood.

Suddenly, all I saw was light. Not bright light, but soft, comforting light. I don't know how to explain it, like I said, it is too big for words; there was a peace coming over me. Rest, peace in its greatest form. No worries, no problems, no bad feelings, no black thoughts. Only peace. Bigger than when you're in love, greater than when you hold your child for the first time, more beautiful than anyone can imagine. Only peace, rest, and happiness. Nothing else. I saw a woman. Beautiful, with a light blue long dress. Charming. At that time, I realized I was dead, or out of my body anyway. All I could think was, 'Okay, I saw my daughter. She is great; she's beautiful. She is healthy. I am gone now. She will be alright.' It sounds egocentric, but I did not feel bad about this at the time. Strange. I was happy I have seen her that was all that mattered at the time.

I kept looking at the light, at the woman. I was extremely happy. There was not a real face. She was blond, with a blue dress. She smiled. The white soft light changed into a landscape. Grass of the greenest green, with red roses, as for as the eye can reach. I knew the woman was beside me. I did not really see her, but I knew she was there. It was so beautiful. I cried from happiness.

From one moment to the other, I felt like someone or something was pulling me away. The landscape faded and I was back on the operation table. It sounds strange, but I felt like being born. Air came into my longs, with a lot of pain, and I shouted like hell. After a few seconds, I realized I was back and all I did was begging to let me go. Go back where I came from. I cursed, shouted at the doctors, I was extremely mad. (Believe me; normally I am a very calm person.) I hit them, shouted at them, nothing mattered. I wanted to go back. Of course, this did not help. Afterwards, I heard they declared me dead a few minutes before.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: July 1996

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-relatedChildbirth Clinical death Child birth and surgery complications.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I felt shaking, like I had two bodies instead of one.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was very conscious. I realized I was gone.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I felt like it took hours I was there, but they told me I was only gone like seven or eight minutes.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I heard 'clicking'. Like tiny little bells. Afterwards, I heard the noise of soft wind.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain No religious environment. Only a landscape. Grass, very green, with red roses, and the woman I described above.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes A tall blond woman, dressed in a blue long dress. She did not really have a face, but I knew she was smiling. We did not talk, but she was peace herself.

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes When I went out of my body, the room changed into a soft white light. Not bright as I hear a lot from other people.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I saw better, heard better.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Only happiness, peace and rest.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I knew there was something wrong with my husband. A very bad feeling, the moment I saw him with my newborn daughter in his arm. I do not know how or what, but I knew I had to be careful.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control After this experience, I tried OBE. I tried to visit a few friends of mine. I mostly fall asleep while trying, but every time I try, people tell me they dreamed about me. A good friend of mine called me once and said, 'Damned Annick, stop visiting me in my dreams.' Sometimes I remember, sometimes I don't.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No I only knew I was back the moment I opened my eyes at the operation table.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes First of all, I am not afraid to die anymore. I always was. But if this is dying, fear is over.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is hard to explain to other people how beautiful it was. I did not know what 'peace' and 'rest' and 'luck' was until the event. It was, and still is too beautiful for words. Besides that, a lot of people think you are crazy if you tell them a story like that.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes My knowledge of people grew. I feel auras, sometimes see them. I lay eyes on somebody and know what she/he is like, if he is sick. More and more, I even know what will happen in the near future. Simple things; answers I know in advance, just little things that happen.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best part, the moment I saw this field with the roses. It is so simple, but so great. The worst of course is the moment I came back.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I talked with somebody who has had OBEs since he was little. He also tried to kill himself because he claims you can do evil stuff during these events. Anyway, he believed me. Said I had to be careful with OBEs, always think about good things and so on. Other people looked at me like I was crazy. So after talking to two or three more people, I did not talk anymore. I tried some chat sites, but there are many fakes. I don't like playing games about these experiences.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I tried OBE for a long time, read about it, and learned about it. The last months, I started to succeed. Have my own world out there. (Or is it not only mine?). The same landscape, with unicorns and mermaids, planets and stars. And they are no real dreams. I leave my body.