It was in September 2009, when I arrived at home from a jogging run. I was completely frozen because it was so cold outside.
I was in the process of starting a fire in our fireplace, when my baggy jogging pants caught fire.
With a slight trace of irritation for my inattention, I tried to extinguish the flames with my hands, but this wasn't successful. The extra air seemed to make the fire climb, growing ever stronger and faster as it moved upwards. Soon not only were my pants ablaze, but also my jacket.
When I look back at that moment, I'm always fascinated anew because I didn't feel any fear at the time. It simply happened, and somehow I was 'only' a silent observer of what was just happening to and on me. I constantly tried to extinguish the flames with my hands. I didn't scream and didn't call for help. The whole event seemed somehow surreal to me, almost like it was remotely controlled. I still vividly remember the moment when I realized that I couldn't control the fire anymore. The fire devoured the synthetic clothing as the flames reached my face. Then my long hair caught on fire and I couldn't breath. A 'wow-effect' started, which changed everything. I suddenly understood that this is it. I said to myself, 'Give up! Now you are going to die!' Since breathing was impossible and any chance calling for help was gone. I had no more control over my life. I couldn't do anything else.
The most impressive thing at this moment was that I didn't feel any pain or fear. This moment consisted only of an all inclusive realization that now I was dying and and the conclusion of 'It's okay!'From today's view this exact moment was the biggest gift of my life. I gave up and stopped fighting. I made one of my most important DECISIONS, 'Let go! Accept!'
Now eight years after this experience, it's extremely difficult for me to find adequate words for those feelings and insights. It's something which couldn't, even remotely, be described or someway explained with human words. It's an instant that comprises EVERYTHING and at the same time NOTHING. There was complete inner silence and a attitude of wait-and-see what would happen now. At the same time, it's the most wonderful awareness of the ABSOLUTE.
My life was not passing in a kind of slow motion in front of me like many people describe who have had an NDE. It was more like an inner realization that filled me that my past life was exactly right and good the way it was. This realization was without melancholy and worry. There was nothing there that was to be 'completed', no 'commitment' at all. It was simply a point. I seemed to have totally 'escaped' from the feeling of 'time.' All those deep impressions opened up to me in a very restrained time frame, like what you would need for three to four breaths. At the same time, it felt like an all encompassing, amazing eternity.
I could write pages about everything what was going on during this 'moment. Still, it was 'only a moment' in which I certainly had to deliver myself COMPLETELY and above all CONSCIOUSLY to my higher entity. I had absolutely NO CHOICE anymore. I gave up every human control and let go.What followed was a calm, yet almost curious wait-and-see for what would be coming now.
I now perceived my earthly body from a kind of 'watcher's perspective' with a feeling of neutrality. I was watching the body as it slowly started to stagger with it's arms helplessly fluttered around. It couldn't hold this state for very long, but it was very clear for me. My neutral watching of what was happening with my body, changed abruptly into joy when my son was suddenly standing in the door. He, aged 14 at the time, in a flash realized the dangerous situation. He reacted with great presence of mind by running towards my body and pulling it to the floor. He was able to extinguish the flames with a nearby carpet.
I still seemed somehow being away from the event, and was following his efforts to help me quite neutrally; as if I was 'only' an uninvolved bystander. I watched him as he ran to the telephone. I watched the arrival of the emergency doctors, as well as the landing of the rescue helicopter.
My consciousness had separated from my body and I seemed to be next to it. I was watching like an observer or a bystander. But nothing was leading my awareness away. There were no deceased loved ones that were welcoming me; no bright light that I could perceive; no dark tunnel or other changes; or anything like that.
Instead, I could watch the nice female emergency doctor in the helicopter and saw how she cared for my body that was lying relaxed on a kind of stretcher with wheels. Bustle came up only when my body was rolled on the gurney by paramedics into the hospital. The doctors hurried along and brought it into the emergency room. Bottles and tubes were on it's belly and yet it seemed that it was okay. It seemed to me as if it were sleeping deeply and relaxed. The whole commotion that I saw was puzzling me.
I heard the paramedics talking to the doctors, saw what they were doing with my body, and that they took it to the surgery room. Nobody seemed to take any notice of me and this was confusing me. NOBODY on this 'human plane' could perceive me; Not my son, nor the emergency doctor in the helicopter, much less the hectic doctors at the hospital. Nobody would answer my questions. Whatever I tried to communicate, nobody seemed to see or hear me. This was really the only thing bothering me the whole time.
'Am I dead?'
My body was just lying there. Now, for the first time since the admittance to the hospital, I had the possibility to look at it calmly. Meantime, they had transferred it into a calm intensive care room. Apart from the blip of some machines, it was calm around us. It seemed well-cared for. The machines had many devices that watched the body's functions and countless tubes provided the body with everything it needed. It was indeed a strange picture for me, as it was lying there and the body's chest was heaving through a ventilator. It's hands and head were covered with bandages, where only a small opening could be seenwhere the tubes came out that belonged to those devices. It was just lying there, like a lifeless shell without content and it seemed to wait peacefully in it's own way.
I, however, was 'sitting' at the foot end of the bed and countless thoughts came up. 'For God's sake, what does this mean? I am HERE! I feel very alive! Why am I not feeling what it feels? And above all, when I'm dead now, why am I still here? Why am I not detaching myself of it? What am I still waiting for?'
After I almost was getting used to this strange 'disconnected' state, I suddenly heard a warm, soft voice behind me. Somebody seemed to enter the room. With his appearance, the energy in the slightly-darkened room was abruptly changing. 'You aren't dead Anke,' I heard. When I turned around, I was looking into the loving eyes of a tall male and glowing figure of light. He seemed to fill the whole room with his presence. 'Have no fear, my dear … you will get answers for all your questions! At the moment there is nothing of importance for you here. Therefore, I would like to show you a few things, if you like.'
And so the most adventurous journey of my life began.
This figure of light was leading me away from my body. I was shown what CONSCIOUSNESS/CONSCIOUS EXISTENCE is and of what it consists. I was taught and trained and asked 1000 questions while getting 10,000 answers. I became aware of coherences, that I never before I would never remotely would have guessed. My patient 'teacher' was leading me into all realms being important for me.
I learned how our human body is connected to higher planes of vibration, what it means to integrate the 'soul parts', to free blockages, and how soulmates are connected. He taught me, what it REALLY meant to extend my CONSCIOUSNESS and how our 'human self' is connected with this, and uncountable other things. I was given the occasion to EXPERIENCE everything.
Then, we 'visited' the room in which my body was in a coma. My teacher instructed me about what it meant to really accept the physical body for what it IS: A vessel, enabling us to have our experiences in duality as a human. A vessel that wants to be 'inhabited' by our higher consciousness, and which is longing for connection.
On one of those visits at the hospital room, my spiritual teacher asked me to tune in to my physical body. He wanted me to feel inside and to get into clear contact with it. I felt it's CONSTRICTION, HEAVINESS, and it's limitations But I also was aware of it's creativity as it was constantly renewing. It had inconceivable possibilities and it's very own way of communicating with me. I was allowed to explore it and let it, for the first time, tell me it's 'stories'. Upon this extraordinary experience, followed the most important question I ever was asked in my life:
'Now you are allowed to make a DECISION! IT'S YOUR CHOICE. Do you want to return into this/your body, or do you want to tell it good-bye here and now?'
From today's view I don't believe, that there was ever the question to die and to leave these planes, but rather about the unbelievable insights; the realization of the DECISION, CONNECTEDNESS, EFFECT, and the TRUTH.
I was allowed to CONSCIOUSLY say 'YES' to myself to my 'BEING human' and to return to my body. I was allowed to CONSCIOUSLY melt back with it, connecting again. I was flowing into it's cells. while feeling it's boundaries and it's density. I was a gigantic feeling. I perceived it exactly as it was, even though it was less than 'perfect' at the moment. I accepted it and everything in the body was filling me with the purest gratitude. Gratitude, that it was still available for me, that I could stay HERE, gratitude for this indescribable schooling, and also GRATITUDE towards myself for my courage and strength. Above all was gratitude for my unwavering trust.
Since this experience, EVERYTHING is different. I AM different! I changed my focus in life. I am not searching anymore, only finding. I feel no pressure, No MUST and OUGHT TO, but instead an unconditional 'YES' to myself and my WORLD and to the wonderful way I am allowed to experience it.
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes. Life threatening event, but not clinical death.
Accident with fire. I was burning and didn't get any air to breath.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I could hear what doctors said, what my parents or the male nurse in the hospital room said to me.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. Everything happened at the same time, without limit. I knew EVERYTHING and was EVERYWHERE, all at the same time.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? From the moment when I left my body in hospital until the moment when I came back into.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning.
Over there, there is no sense of time. Everything is happening at once.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. During the experience, I was completely ALERT and OPEN. My comprehension was nearly 100%. In normal life we are only aware of about 0.5% of all this.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was not the most important thing, but I could SEE. I saw structures, planes, our energy fields, other souls, planets and much, much more.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It's difficult to describe. Maybe it is similar to milk being poured into a glass of water while somebody is holding a very bright light behind the glass.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. Yes, in many different ones.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Absolute love, freedom and calm. I felt embedded and connected with everything in a way, like I don't know as a human being.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. I grasped the sense of our life. The conception of relations why disease happens, or why people make their life miserable. I had access to all insights that I wanted to obtain.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control. I was shown my whole life like in a kind of movie. I could dive into each situation, stop it and experience it again.
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future. I could see that there are different possibilities of future, that we always have the choice for which one we decide ourselves.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain. Sometimes yes, sometimes no … there was something in between.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. I was asked the question if I wanted to go back to my body. I learned what it REALLY meant to inhabit the body, and to REALLY live. I said 'YES' with joy!
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths. No particular religious orientation. I believed in cause and effect and in a field of creation. I was aware that everything in life had its sense.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I dealt with hypnosis in order to help people to be able to go THEMSELVES in these realms. I was dealing more with subconscious, with the ego and it's bubbles, in order to dissolve them.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Do not know. No particular religion. Today I know that everything is connected and every religion is too narrow for me. We are so much more than what could be put in a frame by a religion.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I got 'proof' of everything that I already had been 'believing' before. Now I know for sure and much, much more.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes. I think that it is very important to tell people about these experiences and to show them what life really means. I'm in the love, and still can live this as a human being, too.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. A very tall and bright figure of light. A rather male energy, who was available for me as a teacher. He showed me everything that was important for me and my further life. It was also him asking me the question if I wanted to go back into my body.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes. I was shown an infinite quantity of scenes from my own life. I could dive into them and let myself being totally taken up in them. But I had the impression that this wasn't about 'past' lives, but that they ALL happened at the same time.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes. We are all one. I could immerse everywhere while seeing and feeling the connection with myself. Every thought I had, had effects on everything.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes My NDE wasn't happening fortuitously. It was guided and served my realization why we are born here as humans. Why we are having our experiences and how we can free ourselves from them.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes We are all creating our own fears and keep them 'alive'. We are surrounded by an energetic bubble, making us believe that we would be separated from the all encompassing creation. It's only because of these bubbles that we can't feel this connectedness. All fears, pain, anger and sorrow are only existing within these bubbles.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists. Yes I was shown how our physical body will turn to dust, while we will find ourselves in a wonderful state of detachment and connectedness. I also could experience, how we choose a 'new' body and a 'new' family, to be born again.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes. For us as humans, it's only important to extend our perspective. The only point is to see through the illusions inside of these bubbles, and to experience the reality behind them. Nothing else matters.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes We are all creating our own fears and keep them 'alive'. We are surrounded by an energetic bubble, making us believe that we would be separated from the all encompassing creation. It's only because of these bubbles that we can't feel this connectedness. All fears, pain, anger and sorrow are only existing within these bubbles.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Outside of these bubbles everything is UNCONDITIONAL. There is a love without WANTING, without a PURPOSE, and without EVALUATION. I could never feel a deeper love.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I'm not searching anymore. I'm in the 'here and now', and I'm grateful for everything. Fear was completely annihilated. I feel this bond and I love myself much more than before.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I detached from people, that were not good for me.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There are almost no human words for this, unfortunately.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th Many other experiences have faded completely, but I know THESE experiences in every detail.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I became clairvoyant, and many of the problems I had before, suddenly disappeared.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? ALL. But my words are only words. It's important for me that people can have this EXPERIENCE themselves!!! They need these experiences, in order to dissolve their ego bubbles, and find out by themselves what I'm telling here.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have been writing about this on my homepage, and have been leading clients through hypnosis into these realms.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Yes, and through hypnosis I immersed already in many former lives.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I can still remember exactly every word, every feeling and every realization. In the weeks and months after, everything got a much greater sense for me. My body was healing much faster and more comprehensive, as the doctors would have expected.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I can still remember exactly every word, every feeling and every realization. In the following years everything got a much greater sense for me. It's still for me the MOST IMPORTANT EXPERIENCE of my life, and the greatest gift.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No