I had Lupus, and at the time I was in the hospital for a kidney infection. I had been in the hospital two weeks when one night my hero, Doctor E, came into my room and told my mother and me that I have a blood disorder known as TTP and I had to be transferred to the cardiac intensive care unit immediately. After that visit, everything seemed to go into warp speed for me. I remember waking in the cardiac intensive care unit with a huge oxygen mask blowing in my face, I was like a child again who didn't want to wear what their mother put on them, I wanted that thing off fast. My consciousness was scattered at best, I do remember an Asian nurse yelling at me most of the time, telling me to get back into bed and leave my oxygen mask on. I wasn't having it. In my hazy defiance, I got off the bed again and went toward the toilet area. That's when it happened, on my way there I recall turning around looking up as if God was above me and I had my hands up towards the heavens.
After that, all I remember is seeing flashes of things happening. I don't remember if this is the order of the actual events happening but I will try my best to put it together. I remember being in an operating room by myself and wondering where everyone was. Then there was a metal tube down my throat and me trying to take it out, I blacked out. I was tied down to the bed, I tried to get out, black out. I saw a nurse standing above me, and I clearly asked her if I had died, black out again.
The most profound part was when I found myself falling, falling and being very afraid, unsure of what was happening and just confused. I was in the blackest place ever; it was like being out in space without the stars. As I'm falling, I hear a voice telling me that everything would be alright and in that instant I felt the most amazing peacefulness, stillness and genuine love I have ever felt. It felt like the Holy Spirit touched my soul. After that, I saw in the distance a tunnel, all this time though I'm floating/swimming towards the tunnel, which is made up of spheres, the brightest colors I've ever seen. I'm swimming/floating though them. I remember being guided and being told things (unfortunately, I don't remember what was said, I just remember guidance).
The next thing I remember after that was waking up and my dad, proclaiming, 'So, you're alive!!'
Date NDE Occurred: 'January 21, 2007'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes IllnessHeart attack Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
My heart stopped beating three different times in one day.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? In the black void, I knew things. I don't remember them now, but I had a new knowledge of things.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
The Black Vast Void.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I guess you can say the tunnel of colors I traveled through was among the brightest I've seen so far in life.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was in the black void, after the voice came down to me and told me all would be alright with me, I was shown a tunnel of giant spheres that I floated through. The spheres was vividly colored and huge and I was swimming/floating through them.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? In the beginning I felt, confusion, afraid, then deep peace and love.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes My connection with God is much deeper. I feel his presence more.
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My connection with God is much deeper. I feel his presence more.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew at that moment God was real.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I no longer allow peoples thoughts about me to affect me, I am much more tolerant and less ego based. I do things for the goodness of doing things.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain There was so much happening during that time, I don't remember what order things truly went.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I had dreams that I was able to interpret (which I could not do before).
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? When I asked the nurse if I did indeed die, and the black void experience. I dream a lot and I have many dreams of other places and different people but the black void experience was something I know I could not have conceived on my own.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My family, right after the situation. Which I found out was actually one week after the actual event. I was put into a drug induced coma after I was 'brought back'.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I knew it existed.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew something awesome had happened to me, it was a unique experience that only with the help of a higher power it could be possible.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I knew something awesome had happened to me, it was a unique experience that only with the help of a higher power it could be possible.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I didn't see a light at the end of my tunnel.