Experience Description

I lost consciousness in the hospital emergency room, stopped breathing. Suddenly I became aware of being in a space filled with bright golden yellow light, with the feeling you get if you walk into a party where no one expected you and everyone stops and turns to look at you, as if to say, 'What are you doing here?' I couldn't see anything because the light was so bright but could sense others around me moving forward in one direction. I was not moving and felt like I had just stuck my head and shoulders up through a hole in the floor to see what was going on. At first I fought it (don't ask me what 'it' was, I think I was just being stubborn), but I remember thinking 'Hey, this isn't so bad!' I felt very warm (the inside kind and physically) and peaceful and safe. I felt like everything before just kind of came together to put me at this place where I was supposed to be. Just as I was starting to accept all this, it was as if I was sucked up by a vacuum and it was gone, I was in darkness with no sense of having a real body but could hear my sister's voice. I later found out that she was in the building but not in the same room with me at this time. I felt angry and afraid of where I was. 'How dare they! What fools to pull me back!?!' It took a couple days but I got over being mad. I now know that death is a good thing and not something to be feared. I'll wait until the party is ready for me and know that it is all for a reason that I don't question or concern myself with. I am not going to proof read this so please excuse my spelling, etc. I wrote it just as if I was speaking to you. Bye

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 2-13-95

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Life threatening event, but not clinical death Respiratory Failure Pneumonia, Sepsis, Respiratory Failure, awake but no pulse, both numbers of my blood pressure were below twenty prior to my losing consciousness, placed on a ventilator for seven days following event.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I did not see my body or have any sense of it -- I was just 'being' -- my first sense of being back and in a body was of this tremendous weight all around me, like I was in cement. It took too much effort to open my eyes. My thoughts were as a third person looking on.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was alert until I became unconscious, I was very weak.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It was a space on a different level than we are in now.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Before hearing my sister's voice as I was coming back I heard nothing, but slowly began to hear the sounds and voices of the people and machines working on me. At the time, I didn't know what those sounds and voices were (other than my sister's) and that was scary but I began to understand when one voice said, 'Jan! If you don't work with me I don't know if you're going to make it.' In my head I answered, 'I'll see about it tomorrow,' and that was the end of it.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Coming back was like being quickly sucked back through a swirling tunnel. It was just like when you vacuum a pile of dust with the hose attachment. I swooshed back through.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I could only feel the presence of others.

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Everything WAS the light. It enveloped you.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Just the place of light.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Awkward, apprehensive, acceptance, peace, calm, safe, surprise, anger, resentment, acceptance.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe A sense of peace and calmness -- that all the tangled ends come together and those tangles are there for reasons that we don't need to know or understand but it will all be alright when we get there. We all need to help and be helped to reach that place, so get over all the silly stuff that we are hung up on. Karma. Karma. Karma.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I learned that in the end all the things that seem so big don't really matter after all. There is more than what we see and know and it all comes together in the 'end', which is not an end at all. We are all the same at that place and we need to help each other along the way to reach that place, no matter who we think is the light -- Gag! I can't believe I wrote this stuff but I believe in it.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No If it were up to me, I would have stayed away.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Raised Protestant

What is your religion now? Moderate Protestant Christian who doesn't feel a 'church' is necessary for faith

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I think I'm more laid back, more accepting of the way things are, I hope I'm less critical of others but I could still be better at it. I understand better that we have to make our own happiness while we are here and let others make their own, too.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No But I became more open to intuition.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Other than my two children, it was the most positive thing that has happened in my life. It was a little scary coming back through but there wasn't really any 'worst part'.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Most people are curious and want to hear about it. I think it eases their minds to know that this isn't all and that it gets better.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Of course not.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I recommend it. Everyone should have one.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No, you did good.